When did you feel truly happy?

Bitweirdtolovehalloween · 2022-10-25T14:26:54+00:00

At what stage/age in your life, is it now, have you never really, do you feel happy all the time? If so, what’s the secret?

midgetastic · 25/10/2022 15:27

Happy all the time isn't realistic

CarmenBizet · 25/10/2022 15:44

Around 31.

It all came together. Career I loved, financial stability and savings, a homeowner, married and expecting.

Years of hard work and slog and difficulties and problems and never giving up. I went through serious illness, losing my parent to addiction young, bankruptcy, shit job after shit job, heartbreaks, depression and family estrangement. Kept going, kept working, kept studying, never gave up. It all came together. I'm a few years older now and almost pinch myself every day that I have it so good. Beautiful child I never imagined I'd have, loving spouse, lovely home (nothing fancy but it's ours!), great friends, and a job I love so much I'd do it for free. Truly happy.

I think the secret is being thankful for what I have. I've always felt like that, even during the hardest times, remembering that I'm so fortunate, as are most of us in various ways. You only have to read history or look around the world to recognise how lucky we are. To have clean running water: amazing. To have a home to live in: amazing. To have a good friend who cares about you is amazing. To not be at imminent risk of torture or execution or being spirited away to a gulag, amazing. To have some free time to spend as I wish? Amazing.

Quitelikeit · 25/10/2022 15:45

It’s a myth that you can feel delighted and truly happy 24/7

ChefsKiss · 25/10/2022 15:49

For me I was genuinely consistently happy (no one is happy 24/7 imo) between 22-28 (am 34 now)

got married, established my career, had kids and although via IVF it wasn’t a stressful experience for us.

Work started to get less great after coming back from my second maternity leave, then I also had a lot of stuff going on family wise which has led to a less ‘happy’ life. Not in a negative way but I’m certainly more stressed now than in those ‘peak’ years (mum has been diagnosed with cancer, in a job I don’t love as much despite being well paid, DH is struggling at work as his industry was hit hard by cocos and is yet to properly recover, kids are at difficult ages)

Im still happier than most, for which I am very grateful but I definitely was happier back then!

gwenneh · 25/10/2022 15:52

25, when I met DH & we got married. That's when I can say I started being truly happy. There are other points that continue that trajectory - the birth of our DC, building the career I enjoy & every subsequent forward move, earning my master's, buying our home, being near our family - but that's where it starts after a few uncertain years out of uni.

Are there things I'd like to have or wish I'd achieved? Sure. But what I do have around me now is enough to make me happy on many levels.

QueSyrahSyrah · 25/10/2022 15:54

If we're talking about generally happy and fulfilled then now, at 39. Recently married to the kindest Man I've ever met, our own little home, a job I've finally reached a nice level of responsibility (and pay) in that I mostly enjoy, good friends and family around us, a little money to play with and the time to travel and enjoy it.

No DC yet and may well not happen, but we're happy just as we are anyway.

Of course there are bad moods and shitty work days and worries and disagreements but overall I'm the happiest I've been as an adult, and taking @CarmenBizet 's advice and keeping in mind the small things that make us relatively lucky helps to see off the not so great bits. A warm safe home, Amazing. Plenty to eat and clean water. Amazing. Good health for the moment, Amazing. A little safety net in the bank. Amazing.

Chicci1 · 25/10/2022 15:56

Around age 29/30. I was newly married and felt like the world was my oyster. It’s superficial but I was definitely at my most physically attractive then too. Since then job stress, money worries and family sicknesses have arrived and have made life harder. Life got a lot more stressful once children came along too although they have brought a new type of happiness but it’s a more poignant and bittersweet type of happiness.

CarmenBizet · 25/10/2022 15:57

QueSyrahSyrah · 25/10/2022 15:54

If we're talking about generally happy and fulfilled then now, at 39. Recently married to the kindest Man I've ever met, our own little home, a job I've finally reached a nice level of responsibility (and pay) in that I mostly enjoy, good friends and family around us, a little money to play with and the time to travel and enjoy it.

No DC yet and may well not happen, but we're happy just as we are anyway.

Of course there are bad moods and shitty work days and worries and disagreements but overall I'm the happiest I've been as an adult, and taking @CarmenBizet 's advice and keeping in mind the small things that make us relatively lucky helps to see off the not so great bits. A warm safe home, Amazing. Plenty to eat and clean water. Amazing. Good health for the moment, Amazing. A little safety net in the bank. Amazing.

I’ve been reading a lot lately about Stalin’s era in Russia and sweet Jesus, nothing has made me more acutely aware of my good fortune and blessings as that. The kinds of things that plague most of us day to day are tiny in comparison to what so many other humans have been through and are still going through. I always think at night when I’m falling asleep how lucky I am that I can sleep soundly in a safe place with the expectation that all of my family will likely wake up tomorrow healthy and safe.

steff13 · 25/10/2022 16:02

I feel happy most days. Not all day every day, but most days. I believe happiness is mostly your attitude. I have a pretty great life; amazing kids, great friends, good job. I have everything I need and most of what I want.

Forensiccountermeasure · 25/10/2022 16:02

I'm consistently happy. As a previous poster says there are things like a bad day at work or something going wrong but in the background of that I am happy and it's just an hour of two of 🙄 in amongst all the good stuff.

benicebekind · 25/10/2022 16:03

CarmenBizet · 25/10/2022 15:44

Around 31.

It all came together. Career I loved, financial stability and savings, a homeowner, married and expecting.

Years of hard work and slog and difficulties and problems and never giving up. I went through serious illness, losing my parent to addiction young, bankruptcy, shit job after shit job, heartbreaks, depression and family estrangement. Kept going, kept working, kept studying, never gave up. It all came together. I'm a few years older now and almost pinch myself every day that I have it so good. Beautiful child I never imagined I'd have, loving spouse, lovely home (nothing fancy but it's ours!), great friends, and a job I love so much I'd do it for free. Truly happy.

I think the secret is being thankful for what I have. I've always felt like that, even during the hardest times, remembering that I'm so fortunate, as are most of us in various ways. You only have to read history or look around the world to recognise how lucky we are. To have clean running water: amazing. To have a home to live in: amazing. To have a good friend who cares about you is amazing. To not be at imminent risk of torture or execution or being spirited away to a gulag, amazing. To have some free time to spend as I wish? Amazing.

This. Thanks so much for such an inspiring post. I do feel grateful too for what I have but at times feel so worn out by everyday struggle.

steff13 · 25/10/2022 23:56

I've been watching The Mary Tyler Moore Show on Amazon, and this is essentially how I live my life:

www.dailymotion.com/video/x2yxsd6

CarmenBizet · 26/10/2022 09:47

benicebekind · 25/10/2022 16:03

This. Thanks so much for such an inspiring post. I do feel grateful too for what I have but at times feel so worn out by everyday struggle.

Show quote history

And that's okay too <3 I'm definitely not into toxic positivity and believe in recognising when you're struggling, honouring your feelings and being kind to yourself. I'd never say to someone 'other people have it worse!' or anything like that. I just find that gratitude for things in my own life really helps me. I think a lot of people are worn out by the everyday struggles and the fact that someone in another country is being tortured certainly doesn't make our struggles any easier to bear. I always say to people who say 'other people have it worse so I shouldn't feel like this' that if other people's suffering made you feel better then you'd be a sadist!

KimberleyClark · 26/10/2022 09:50

I’m 61, took voluntary early retirement three years ago and genuinely feel the happiest I’ve ever been.

Wintermoonandstars · 26/10/2022 09:51

I had a very difficult time during my thirties in particular, so I’d have to say now.

I had my baby at 40, got married at 41, work part time, life is lovely - although quite full on with an almost two year old!

MegGriffinshat · 26/10/2022 09:54

Never.

Every single second of my life there has been something terrible happening. So what should have been good things - my children being born for example, awful, awful things were happening elsewhere in my life that took away any joy. Even as a child life was relentless (bullying at school, home problems).

I want a fucking break to be honest.