Page 2 | Going home airport etiquette

ReasonablySane · 2022-10-25T13:40:16+00:00

I recently flew overseas to meet a friend (short-haul city break) in her country. She met me at the hotel we were staying in and we had an overindulgent amazing first night (2am) and a very quiet second one (in bed by 10:30). We aren't as young as we once were. Having had an early night, was it too much for me to expect that we would do something on the morning/lunch of the day I was due to fly home? She knew that my flight wasn't until the afternoon yet left straight after breakfast and made it home to her family by lunchtime. I know this because she texted me. I made it home to my family at 7pm having spent most of the day on my own. Had I known this was her plan i would have booked an earlier flight. I can't help but feel miffed. AIBU?

Notimetothink · 25/10/2022 15:53

Don’t you talk to your friend? Surely you would have had a discussion about the morning. If she was going to be busy I would have found something to do on my own for the morning.
There’s obviously been a breakdown in communication between the two of you.

2bazookas · 25/10/2022 16:04

If you wanted to do something why didn't you suggest it?

Because of staff shortages there have been horrendous queues and delays at some EU airports (even for short flights). Our airline recommended arriving 4 HOURS before flight time She probably assumed you 'd be similarly occupied.

Original poster

ReasonablySane · 25/10/2022 16:08

Prior to my booking, we discussed what time flight I should take home; she knew I was flying in the afternoon. The evening before I flew, I suggested that the next day we could go for brunch/shopping after checkout, but she made it clear she wasn't keen, with bags to carry etc... She didn't really have any plans, just figured she'd go back.

For those concerned, I am perfectly capable of amusing myself; I just hadn't expected to be doing it on the last day of a weekend away! I will consider future trips more carefully.

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Original poster

ReasonablySane · 25/10/2022 16:10

yes and yes!

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AryaStarkWolf · 25/10/2022 16:13

What was her input into your flight time when you discussed it? Did she imply you would do something that day together before you went home? If so that's really mean of her. She should have told you she'd be leaving first thing after check out so book an earlier flight

Original poster

ReasonablySane · 25/10/2022 16:14

yes, we went back and forth

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SummaLuvin · 25/10/2022 16:14

The age old 'to assume is to make an ass out of you and me', you should have communicated if that's what you wanted, and as it doesn't sound like you actually tried to make advance plans for the day it's not a surprise she was none the wiser and went home. You weren't unreasonable to want more out of the last day, she wasn't unreasonable to do what she did.

I can be a nervous traveller and wouldn't have plans on the day of a flight unless it was really quite late. Because of this I generally fly home on the earlier side as I ever get much out of the last hours/half day so value getting home sooner.

Whataretheodds · 25/10/2022 16:15

If your flight left in the afternoon you surely couldn't have had many hours by yourself after she left?, taking into account travel time to airport etc?
Maybe she was exhausted!

Fushiadreams · 25/10/2022 16:17

I’d be ok with this to be fair, but you weren’t next time make plans. Sometimes you might love someone to bits but get peopled out and just want to go home. It was exciting for you but it was her home so going shopping Really likely didn’t hold any appeal/

butterfliedtwo · 25/10/2022 16:26

The evening before I flew, I suggested that the next day we could go for brunch/shopping after checkout, but she made it clear she wasn't keen, with bags to carry etc.

So she'd already told you what she was going to do? You knew what her plan was. You made it sound like she'd just left without discussion!

crostina1 · 25/10/2022 16:29

You say she has a family, she probably had all sorts to do on the Sunday and wanted to get back to her kids. She already made it clear to you she was going home early on the Sunday, you I don’t think you can really complain. She probably wanted to get home early to sort Sunday chores out and then have some time to relax, rather than hanging around with you and having to rush home and fo everything.

crostina1 · 25/10/2022 16:31

The morning of checking out of a hotel is never pleasant, it’s always earlier than you need and you are rushed off your feet. I’d want to to straight home too

Delatron · 25/10/2022 16:37

It sounds like you discussed it and just didn’t like/ignored her response. I hate hanging around after check out with bags. You should have just booked an earlier fight. Sounds like she made it clear that she wanted to head back. You’d spent a few nights together and she needed to get back.

thelobsterquadrille · 25/10/2022 16:45

ReasonablySane · 25/10/2022 16:08

Prior to my booking, we discussed what time flight I should take home; she knew I was flying in the afternoon. The evening before I flew, I suggested that the next day we could go for brunch/shopping after checkout, but she made it clear she wasn't keen, with bags to carry etc... She didn't really have any plans, just figured she'd go back.

For those concerned, I am perfectly capable of amusing myself; I just hadn't expected to be doing it on the last day of a weekend away! I will consider future trips more carefully.

So she made it clear she wasn't going to hang about, and you chose to book the afternoon flight anyway?

Original poster

ReasonablySane · 25/10/2022 16:52

"So she'd already told you what she was going to do? You knew what her plan was. You made it sound like she'd just left without discussion!"

Not true. She didn't really have a plan for the last day and had several train options. But she knew what time i was flying as we had discussed which flights i should get. Even though I did suggest shopping/brunch she decided to leave after checkout. Tiredness wasn't an issue. We'd had an early night.

I understand her wanting to get back to her family - i did too! I just think that if someone flies to see you, it's unfair to leave unexpectedly early, especially when you know that the flier has a much longer day ahead of them.

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ChefsKiss · 25/10/2022 16:55

ReasonablySane · 25/10/2022 16:52

"So she'd already told you what she was going to do? You knew what her plan was. You made it sound like she'd just left without discussion!"

Not true. She didn't really have a plan for the last day and had several train options. But she knew what time i was flying as we had discussed which flights i should get. Even though I did suggest shopping/brunch she decided to leave after checkout. Tiredness wasn't an issue. We'd had an early night.

I understand her wanting to get back to her family - i did too! I just think that if someone flies to see you, it's unfair to leave unexpectedly early, especially when you know that the flier has a much longer day ahead of them.

But it wasn’t unexpectedly early

She made her view on this clear

Original poster

ReasonablySane · 25/10/2022 16:55

"So she made it clear she wasn't going to hang about, and you chose to book the afternoon flight anyway?"

No. I booked the flights with her agreement. When i had landed and was there with her on the second day, she said she had different train options. on the day we checked out, she went for the earlier train.

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WomanStanleyWoman2 · 25/10/2022 16:56

I made it home to my family at 7pm having spent most of the day on my own.

It’s hardy the middle of the night, is it?

How long did it take you to get through Arrivals at the airport and then home? Even if it only took an hour, and your flight was only 90 minutes, and it only took you 30 minutes to get to the airport for the flight out - if you add in the standard two hours at the airport, the latest you could have headed for home was 2pm. Yes, you could have managed brunch together or a look around the shops, but it’s hardly like you lost a day of the trip.

Original poster

ReasonablySane · 25/10/2022 16:57

"But it wasn’t unexpectedly early
She made her view on this clear"

it was unexpected. Had i known she was going to leave after breakfast, I would have booked an earlier flight.

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thelobsterquadrille · 25/10/2022 16:57

ReasonablySane · 25/10/2022 16:55

"So she made it clear she wasn't going to hang about, and you chose to book the afternoon flight anyway?"

No. I booked the flights with her agreement. When i had landed and was there with her on the second day, she said she had different train options. on the day we checked out, she went for the earlier train.

But why did you need her agreement?

If you wanted to get back early, you should have booked the earlier flight. I wouldn't want to hang around a city with all my bags if I could get home instead.

Original poster

ReasonablySane · 25/10/2022 17:01

"But why did you need her agreement?"

we agreed the flight times

"If you wanted to get back early, you should have booked the earlier flight."

I didn't need to. I flew to spend time with her. But yes, had i known that she would leave after breakfast, I would have booked an earlier flight.

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FlissyPaps · 25/10/2022 17:06

Not true. She didn't really have a plan for the last day and had several train options. But she knew what time i was flying as we had discussed which flights i should get. Even though I did suggest shopping/brunch she decided to leave after checkout. Tiredness wasn't an issue. We'd had an early night.

I understand her wanting to get back to her family - i did too! I just think that if someone flies to see you, it's unfair to leave unexpectedly early, especially when you know that the flier has a much longer day ahead of them.

Even if she had no concrete plans - that doesn’t mean she had to stay with you until the minute you left for the airport. & even if she wasn’t tired - that doesn’t mean she had to stay with you.

I’d let this go.

butterfliedtwo · 25/10/2022 17:09

FlissyPaps · 25/10/2022 17:06

Not true. She didn't really have a plan for the last day and had several train options. But she knew what time i was flying as we had discussed which flights i should get. Even though I did suggest shopping/brunch she decided to leave after checkout. Tiredness wasn't an issue. We'd had an early night.

I understand her wanting to get back to her family - i did too! I just think that if someone flies to see you, it's unfair to leave unexpectedly early, especially when you know that the flier has a much longer day ahead of them.

Even if she had no concrete plans - that doesn’t mean she had to stay with you until the minute you left for the airport. & even if she wasn’t tired - that doesn’t mean she had to stay with you.

I’d let this go.

Especially not when it was already clear that "she wasn't keen" on brunch.

LuckySantangelo35 · 25/10/2022 17:11

You won’t get any sympathy on here op

people are always desperate to get away from their pals and back to their families!

you should be grateful she could bear to tear herself away from her family to see you at all!

thelobsterquadrille · 25/10/2022 17:14

ReasonablySane · 25/10/2022 17:01

"But why did you need her agreement?"

we agreed the flight times

"If you wanted to get back early, you should have booked the earlier flight."

I didn't need to. I flew to spend time with her. But yes, had i known that she would leave after breakfast, I would have booked an earlier flight.

I still don't see an issue.

She doesn't have to hang around all day just because you've booked a later flight, even if it was with her agreement. Maybe she felt the earlier flight would have caused you to rush around? Maybe she thought it would be nice to have a slower morning and breakfast before going your separate ways?