Hand flapping, violent meltdowns - to think this can still be normal?

[Treehouseviews]

Has anyone had experience with having/meeting kids who showed some worrying traits in the early years but outgrown them later and mellowed out completely?

Our 4 year old is still struggling a lot with managing emotions, has daily meltdowns and aggressive behaviour. Wondering if there’s any hope these traits will be outgrown.

My son has daily violent meltdowns also. It's so hard. We are on the diagnostic pathway for asd. His assessment will be in about 18 months.

In the mean time, addressing the vocabulary of 'wrong.' Currently everything is wrong with him. He can't tolerate his life. We make so many adaptations at home but it isn't done in school yet in the way he needs. However, what's wrong with him is the situation he's in. Not my smiley, energetic boy. He's wonderful. The wrong bits are the sheer distress he's in

As the Mother of a DS17 who still flaps, this is his expression of joy and happiness and yes he has meltdowns too, when he is not so happy, I have long given up what is considered "normal"

This is totally normal for my very low functioning, autistic, gorgeous and loving boy.

How do you respond to the aggression and meltdowns?

My son had daily violent meltdowns at that age. He is autistic but the meltdowns are very infrequent now because his environment has been adapted and he is better able to communicate what he needs in his environment.

I wouldn't say that's neurotypical behaviour, if that's what you're asking.

May still grow out of it though

Do bear in mind that 'Growing out of' a particular behaviour sometimes means that accomodations are made so the child is no longer stressed/anxious enough to exhibit that behviour.

I would say violent meltdowns and hand flapping is not normal for a four year old.