That Santa doesn’t exist.

[Elf25]

When did your DCs stop believing in Santa and whilst they did believe what was your rhetoric about how Santa works? E.g. Santa brings presents but parents give him money etc..

I saw another related post and it made me wonder what people do..

I have an under 1 year end of so will be there soon

I just said Santa brings yours as you are such a good girl and I have to buy for nanny and grandad etc etc as they are adults now and santa doesn’t bring presents for adults.

Santa brings the presents but we send him money, sometimes Santa hasn't enough time to make ALL the toys so has to buy them so we help out by sending money. So the kids are aware that they can't have everything in the toy catalogue.

Santa has never brought all the presents in our house- he brings the stockings and one not-massive present. He doesn’t bring the “big” present (game console/bike/dolls house).

Mine don’t believe anymore but play along which is very sweet of them as I like doing stockings for them and they like taking the piss out of how badly I wrap presents. I still wrap Santa presents in separate paper always with pictures of Santa on it as the big man is a massive narcissist.

Older ones have stopped believing about 9/10.
Santa gets full credit, all the toys and stockings are from santa. Older ones go along with that for little one.
Relatives generally the nicer ones put from Santa and the dickheads put from themselves.

Santa brings stocking presents only here, I'm not having the big guy getting credit for what I've spent my hard earned cash on! Though when I was growing up he was purely the delivery service iirc.
Dc are both old enough to know the truth, although there were a few years where they were suspicious but unwilling to admit in case they missed out 😂
Dh at the appropriate time told them something along the lines of this story: www.washingtonpost.com/news/inspired-life/wp/2016/12/19/the-story-behind-the-beautiful-way-this-mom-told-her-sons-the-truth-about-santa/
They were both happy with that, and with keeping the magic alive for younger ones.

Relatives generally the nicer ones put from Santa and the dickheads put from themselves.

Can't wait to label my niblings presents "From Auntie Dickhead" at Christmas. FFS. The presents I buy are from me, so they have my name on.

OTOH I needed a new name. So thanks for the inspiration.

But WHY ??

Why would you want to deprive your DC from understanding that their relatives love them and want to give them presents?

It doesn't make Christmas any less 'magical' to have loving relatives give them presents? Why would you get in the way of relatives building bonds with your DC?

Santa brings one requested gift here, and I add things in the stocking that are also 'from Santa'. My son is five now and he knows he gets to ask for one thing, and hasn't ever requested anything expensive (yet!). If he does, and we can afford to buy it, then I'll say that's from us, not from Santa - I always think it must be really unfair for kids whose parents don't have much money to think that Santa likes other kids more than them. If my son tells me that a kid in his class got an expensive gift from Santa, then I just say that their parents bought that because Santa doesn't do big gifts, working so far 😂

Santa still comes to us and my DC are all fully functioning professional adults with partners.

How is it getting in the way of building bonds?? Building bonds is not based on gift giving in my family, they build bonds through spending time together all year round. And they will realise when they are older where all their gifts came from. Just an observation on my life the kinder adults are willing to forsake the credit to max out the magic on christmas and santa. Its only a few years, they can get the credit when they are older and on birthdays. Doesnt bother me one bit to give Sants the credit and know they are experiencing the same level of joy I did when I was a child.

Think it is best that stockings are from Santa and the rest actually from the people who send them why are you a dickhead for putting your name on a gift. It is also good that children appreciate that relatives and friends buy for them and they say thank you. Can never understand how a child still actually believes past the age of 10. Surely the logistics don’t make sense. As a child from quite a young age I gave people presents. Not sure what i actually gave and if they are wanted. I do remember making a shoe polishing pad for my Dad.

it isn't the value of the present, it is that Auntie Bella cared in the gift giving season to want to choose something special. The child sees other gift giving going on in the family (and on TV) and yet doesn't get any from their own family? Do the DC not give gifts either? It also means the DC don't thank for their gifts which isn't good manners.

Each to their own, I think it's weird. But I know it is what some families do.

Eldest is 7 and I think she knew last year although she didn't spoil it for us.

Father Christmas brings everything that we buy, presents from family and friends are from them and go under the tree for Boxing Day or are exchanged whenever we see them over the festive period.
This is exactly what mine and DH's parents did. I hadn't realised anyone did anything different until DC1 started school, although I remember my best friend in primary got a stocking and I did not.
I can't ever remember believing in Father Christmas myself though, I saw the pillowcase being filled when I was just turned 5. My parents still don't know I did!

So I actually find doing the whole thing with my DC really odd.
I think this is our first year where everyone knows. I've been talking about buying the gifts and the cost etc and it hasn't been questioned so I presume they know.

Santa brings modest stockings (think socks, chocolate money, small toy) parents buy the big gifts under the tree.

Dd2 was 8 when she figured it out dd1 was 10 when dd2 told her in an argument

ds is 18 now and I have never told him Santa is not real 🎅 (because he is!)

My biggest advice to anyone is to keep it simple and not stress over it. Anything you do you will need to remember to keep doing for years. Forget tying yourself in knots with lots of unnecessary details or addons such as the Elf, special wrapping paper, Santa delivering presents via granny etc, especially avoid anything that needs unnecessary collaboration from others.

Deny all knowledge of how the magic happens and let them make it up and work it out in their own amazing minds.

Second advice is never equate being naught or nice with Santa, if your child asks, again deny all knowledge and change the subject - "yes, I heard someone say that, but I've no idea, he came every year for me!"

IME keeping it simple does not distract from the magic in any way, if anything it lets it develop gradually as the child does.

Brilliant!

If Santa brings ALL the presents, to whom do your children write thank you notes/texts etc?

Learn from the recent thread by the parent of a 4 year old who is having to reset the child's expectations that Father Christmas will provide whatever the child asks for (in that case, something the parent can't afford).

Set the narrative early: either Father Christmas does the stocking presents, or you send him the money and therefore there's a limit as to the gift he will bring.

@TeenDivided Agree completely, surely these children must wonder why others get gifts from family and friends and they don't. It doesn't encourage much goodwill if they're not expecting to give gifts to people they care about. Are the parents gifts all from FC as well then? Do the children not think about giving their own parents a gift?
What if they get presents from friends or family early or late? How are these explained? I'd hate to not have the credit for a gift I've given to a nephew. I probably wouldn't bother giving them anything.
A few small things in a stocking from FC, fine, but everything else is from the person who bought/made it.

Santa was merely the delivery guy in my house. He didn’t pay, that helped with expensive requests. Mine had all stopped believing before secondary, no 2 probably the earliest. I had to tell them before secondary as no way I’d have sent mine to secondary believing. Must admit since the last stopped believing 3-4yrs ago my life’s been easier. And no I don’t miss playing Santa!! Will have a break now before grandkids

Although a few years ago, I remember my mum giving my child a sack of gifts, saying the FC had left them at her house! I soon corrected it, and told my child they were from Grandma. It's something we've never done and not sure why she said it.
Both sets of grandparents give a sack of smaller gifts, which is fine. The sacks are homemade by the grandmothers and reused each year. Easy to put under the tree, but definitely from them not FC!

The poor kids of substance abusers years ago who got nothing..
Even if a charity gave them presents, they would be sold by the parent/s

Extreme, but do these kids believe in Father Christmas?
Heartbreaking for them.

It was sad to witness.

We have a mixture. Some are presents bought by us and sent to Santa to "check" and bring on Christmas Eve along with the presents from him.

She's only 5 and has never asked for anything particularly big. The most expensive present she's ever had was her bike and she knows that was from Gramps. She's not having a "main" present this year, there's nothing big she wants so we'll just go 50-50ish.

We never said that Father Christmas was real or that he wasn't when my now-adult DC were growing up.

The advantage to never confirming or denying was that it remained magical without them ever feeling lied to. They didn't ask whether it was the truth or not any more than they asked whether Thomas the Tank Engine was real. They just enjoyed it.

They always had a stocking 'from FC' but everything else was from us or whoever gave them gifts.

We all love Christmas and this worked for us. It never seemed to be an issue that their friends' families did it differently - I think children are keen to 'believe' in their own way, even after they suspect it's just a story.