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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want to convince my family to come to my wedding

3 replies

Siilka · 24/10/2022 13:56

Hi everyone. I signed up to ask you some advice.

I am an Irish Traveller or "Gypsy". I will use the word gypsy, because it what most people are most familiar with. We are very traditional, gypsy man+woman. Dating a non-gypsy is a NO. I did worse, I am in a relationship with a woman. We have been together for 14 years. We have been living together.

Because it is so taboo, we struggled to tell our families. When my partner finally told hers, they were supportive. But mine... my father no longer talks to me, my mum refuses to acknowledge she isn't just my "friend".

We are getting married in February. At first my siblings they would come. Then told me 2 days ago, we aren't. I tried to talk to them, but now they blocked me. I went to the house. My mum talked to me and said " Your father doesn't want any of us to come but I love you".

So my partner family (with the same culture) are going to come, but not mine?

How can convince them?

Aibu to want my family there?

OP posts:
MolliciousIntent · 24/10/2022 13:57

Oh OP I am so sorry.

On your wedding day, the most important thing is to be surrounded by people who love and support your marriage. That is not your family. Having them there, when they do not support your choices, would be a mistake.

Merryoldgoat · 24/10/2022 13:59

I’ve said YABU because I wouldn’t want someone at my wedding who didn’t support my relationship.

Goldunicorn · 24/10/2022 14:24

it wouldn’t usually be unreasonable at all to want your family at your wedding. So I guess it depends if you really can “convince” them of anything, not least presumably changing their minds so fundamentally. Or if you’d be ok with them attending, knowing they don’t really support you & your partner.

I’m sorry you’re having to think about this 💐

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