MIL phone calls.

[elenaq]

My MIL has this habit of texting/calling people multiple time when they don't answer the first time.

I noticed she texted me, and thought to myself "i'll answer her when i can" (was doing the dishes) within 20 seconds of that message, she sent the same message to me on whatsapp. further another minute or so, she called me, and further another minute she called me on whatsapp. i was getting pretty annoyed at this point, but continued to wash the dishes because i had eyed the message and knew it wasn't important, she just needed help translating something (totally not important). she proceeded to call me again after another 2 minutes.

now, will i be totally unreasonable to call her out on the fact that texting/calling people multiple times is highly unnecessary and they'll call back when they can? i've been very unwell for the last couple of days, (whole family caught a gastroenteritis) and still not fully recovered, my mood has been low and i've been on the crankier side, due to the pain, lack of sleep and catching up on everything that was left undone due to being unwell.

i'm struggling to tell if she's being very unreasonable or if i'm just cranky?

My FIL thinks it's acceptable to text at 5.30am because ' he is up ' he knows damn well we are not up at that time !

@summergone - that’s abusive behaviour. I would either give him a gobful and/or threaten to block him entirely. Ask who else he calls at that time or day and why he has no respect for you!

I did make it clear it was unacceptable, he had also text the gas man the day before at 4.30am as he had got up and realised the boiler wasn't working !

I agree that you need to have a word. What does your OH say about it?

Have you suggested she use her energies in learning whatever language you are translating for her, instead of spending her time texting/calling multiple times???

My mum used to do that when she was suffering with dementia.. my sis was almost in tears as mum rang her for the 33rd time on the trot, not even giving her time to pick the phone up.. :-0

Out of my kids, one will get back to me straight away.. the others don't even reply to FB messages if they are logged in to it.. #rolls eyes.. usually mine are just 'hi, how are you, how's your day going?' I get replies eventually!

My MIL is the same. She is the only one who rings our house phone and she just keeps ringing if we don't pick up. DH spoke to her when she rang 19 times in a row when he was on a call to DSIL who lives abroad. There was no specific issue. I recently read a great book on ADHD and said to DH that I think she may have ADHD which makes her impulsive and feeling a need to communicate any random thought or question as soon as it enters her head rather than at a mutually convenient time. She also is very fond of calling back several times in short succession as ideas occur to her

LOL! A woman after my own heart! I'd love to do this....but in actuality, she'd probably phone me in the few seconds between me phoning her back one of the 14 times!!! 😂

She wants someone to talk too.

One day she won't be here then you will.miss her calls.

What a stupid answer

Stupid to you - people who keep annoying me don't get that many chances to do it again. It's OP's MIL and she wants OP's help - otherwise she can contact her son and leave OP out of it.

No point being wishy washy about it then complaining.

Do you think it’ll change if you mention it to her?
My mil does lots of silly things but we don’t say anything because she won’t change. It’d cause Agro for no reason. Mute her on message or WhatsApp so it doesn’t feel so overwhelming!

Send her a translation for “stop fucking calling ten times in a row, I got the message the first time”

I have a parent like this, no reply in 15mins another message asking why I haven't replied... I just eye roll and carry on!

The guilt trip of, “one day she’ll be dead…” is ridiculous. Nobody should feel harassed or hunted in their own home, simply because we’re not immortal.

“MIL, call ONCE and I’ll get back to you when I can. Otherwise, I’m going to wait a day for every time you message or call.”

Even if it were an emergency, she should be calling the appropriate services, not harassing family.

@girlfriend44 erm no I won’t miss her calls. I can’t stand the manipulative old bat…that’s another story! She has lots of friends and relatives that she speaks to daily. I haven’t spoken to her since Christmas Day last year and hopefully won’t again until Christmas Day this year. DH takes her calls and sees her twice a week.

Also she thinks nothing of calling at 4am on a weekday to tell DH her ready meals (all she eats) are not that nice this week and when she goes shopping (with her cousin she’ll ask for Morrisons rather than Asda…blah fucking blah…)we work full time and don’t want 4am shite calls.