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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to drive child 20 miles with heavy item in boot?

46 replies

MonsterMunch99 · 24/10/2022 08:55

DP asked if I could go before work to pick up a hydraulic ram from about 20 miles away. Eldest happened to be awake and asked if he could come, so I said sure. I've been away for a week so I thought it would be nice to chat with him.
DP then got very cross because it's not safe to have a heavy object in the boot when there are kids in the car. I agree, but seeing as it's only 20 miles I thought the risk was pretty minimal. I didn't back down, since I'd told eldest he could come, so I said if DP wanted to pick up ram then DP could go and get it.
Cue flaming row.

Thoughts?

OP posts:
WonderingWanda · 24/10/2022 09:32

I would think the distance is irrelevant but rather the speed you will be travelling. Was it 20 miles on the motorway or on 30mph speed limit roads?

That said he is being unreasonable. There is risk in every aspect of life and if he wanted to control how it was transported he should have gone to collect it. Also, you said dest has come home and mentioned wanting to spend some time with them so I assume university age which is hardly a child. They could be driving their own heavy objects around dangerously and are old enough to assess the risk for themselves.

SquigglePigs · 24/10/2022 09:32

30-40kg is no worse than luggage going on holiday and given plenty of people drive halfway across Europe/the USA on holiday it wouldn't occur to me to worry about that. You should be able to use bungee straps or something to secure it if people are particularly worried.

44PumpLane · 24/10/2022 09:32

You simply need to put the ram in the boot, fasten the seatbelts in the rear of the car and have your son in the front passenger seat in his car seat.

In the event of a crash the seatbelts would help the rear seat not be pushed down by the ram.

Also, don't drive at 80miles an hour with it in the boot....sorted!

Snowpaw · 24/10/2022 09:35

I read about accidents for my job. I read about a child who was hit in back of head by a table in the boot. It was a very low impact crash but the table hit her and fractured her skull. Has made me think twice about transporting big things in car boot now if people in the back seat.

Getoff · 24/10/2022 09:37

MonsterMunch99 · 24/10/2022 09:15

child is 9 and in car seat. Ram weighs approx 30-40kg and cannot really be secured. In the event of accident it could injure or kill someone in the cabin.

Show quote history

How could it injure or kill someone in the cabin? What kind of accident would cause a 40kg metal object on the floor of the boot to end up in the cabin? Surely the back of the back seat would keep it in the boot?

BonnesVacances · 24/10/2022 09:38
  1. If it's in the boot just make sure the back seats will keep it in the boot if you have to brake suddenly or something hits you from behind.
  1. It doesn't matter if it's 20 miles, 1 mile or 100 miles. All that does it reduce the likelihood of having to brake suddenly or being hit from behind. It doesn't affect how fast the item in the boot will travel.
  1. Just because people travel with unrestrained items on their back seat, it doesn't make it safe to do so. They are missiles in the event of a collision. If the car is travelling at 60mph and it stops suddenly, unrestrained items will continue to travel at 60mph. It's genuinely shocking to me how people don't know this.
Brieeeeeeeee · 24/10/2022 09:38

Brieeeeeeeee · 24/10/2022 08:57

I feel a bit thick for not understanding why heavy objects in the boot are specifically dangerous

Thanks to everyone who clarified - I am of course aware that unrestrained objects can be dangerous in an accident! But as others have pointed out it seems no different to suitcases, heavy shopping, DIY materials and/or is equally dangerous for all occupants of the car…

YellowTreeHouse · 24/10/2022 09:40

YABU. A risk is a risk - it doesn’t matter if the journey is short or long. You can have a crash and be killed after being out ten seconds or ten hours.

You should never use “oh but it’s only a short journey” as a reason to take a risk. The shorter length does not minimise nor take away the risk.

Alicetheowl · 24/10/2022 09:40

But the OP says it's in the boot, not unsecured on the back seat. It's not going to be flying about inside if it's, in the boot. No difference to suitcases for a family of three or four.

Mardyface · 24/10/2022 09:41

Of course the short journey makes a difference. You are spending less time 'at risk' therefore there is less risk.

OP I think you were quite right to tell him to get it himself. Is he worried it might be a danger to him?

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 24/10/2022 09:42

We moved house before 100 miles away with a very packed car and DD so I highly doubt it

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 24/10/2022 09:42

I mean doubt you are being unreasonable

lochmaree · 24/10/2022 09:45

we installed a car specific dog guard for this reason. (we don't have a dog). Our two DS are/will be extended rear facing so I don't want anything flying forward. its an estate so the boot is not separate to the cabin. we also limit the amount of stuff in the cabin of the car, DS can only watch the ipad behind a crash tested ipad holder and neither of them have any large hard toys. I'd read before about a 3yo killed by an ipad in a crash.

I wouldn't take him. and if it can't be secured in the boot then I'd either find a way to do that correctly or try and get a trailer/someone to deliver in a trailer. we regularly have picked up big heavy items (pre DC) but DH has lots of big ratchet straps and can secure things with those.

Wombat100 · 24/10/2022 09:46

If he’s that bothered then he should hire a van to transport the ram. He’s being ridiculous.

Original poster
MonsterMunch99 · 24/10/2022 09:47

BonnesVacances · 24/10/2022 09:38

  1. If it's in the boot just make sure the back seats will keep it in the boot if you have to brake suddenly or something hits you from behind.
  1. It doesn't matter if it's 20 miles, 1 mile or 100 miles. All that does it reduce the likelihood of having to brake suddenly or being hit from behind. It doesn't affect how fast the item in the boot will travel.
  1. Just because people travel with unrestrained items on their back seat, it doesn't make it safe to do so. They are missiles in the event of a collision. If the car is travelling at 60mph and it stops suddenly, unrestrained items will continue to travel at 60mph. It's genuinely shocking to me how people don't know this.
  1. Agree
  2. The overall risk depends on exposure. Driving 1 mile with no seatbelt gives a lower overall risk of injury than driving 1000 miles with no seatbelt. This is why patients can safely be exposed to X-rays once or twice a year, but radiographers who do it every day hide behind lead shields.
  3. Agree
OP posts:
Ariela · 24/10/2022 09:49

25-30kg is no heavier than a couple of bags of horsefeed (40kg).
What you do is ensure you position it correctly in the boots, so widthways rather than lengthways (don't think it'd fit any other way), and secure it to the floor with straps at the back of the back seats so it doesn't move.
Child sits in car seat in the front.
I've carried far heavier stuff for my DH in the back, the one I get nervous about is batteries - commercial batteries are huge and contain acid, so I tend to take the pickup as it's separate from the cab.

WitchyMother · 24/10/2022 09:50

You could also say every unnecessary car journey just for company is putting your child at unnecessary risk. I would take precautions but that's it.

Milkand2sugarsplease · 24/10/2022 09:57

Can the 9yo not sit in the front with you?

WeeOrcadian · 24/10/2022 09:58

MN, I'm disappointed beyond words.

Why has nobody asked WTF OP's DH wants with a bloody hydraulic ram jobby!!??

Hang your heads people, hang your heads in shame.

starrynight21 · 24/10/2022 10:11

If the hydraulic ram only weighs 30-40 kg, that's the weight of a child. Put the thing in the back seat with seat belts securing it. Kid goes in the front. Drive carefully .Sorted.

itsgettingweird · 24/10/2022 10:47

starrynight21 · 24/10/2022 10:11

If the hydraulic ram only weighs 30-40 kg, that's the weight of a child. Put the thing in the back seat with seat belts securing it. Kid goes in the front. Drive carefully .Sorted.

That's exactly what I was thinking.

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