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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Mortgage with ex and cost of house renovations

3 replies

zebraprint12 · 24/10/2022 06:50

Not AIBU but posting here for traffic and hopefully some advice.

A close friend of mine split with his ex 3 years ago. They have one child aged 11. Child is spending slightly more time with mum (60/40).They were never married but have a mortgage on the property where they used to live as a couple (joint tenants type of mortgage).

My friend moved out of there years ago but mortgage is still not sorted. Ex couldn't afford to buy him out, he doesn't want to make her and their child homeless - Ex is in low paid job and unable to afford rent.

Now, Ex got some money from her parents and she replaced windows downstairs and put a new fence up in the garden. None of them needed to be replaced, we're in good state and relatively new. If she wanted to do it then fine but now, after jobs are done she demands half of the costs back for those from my friend. In total she paid was around £8k and he wasn't aware of any of those jobs until they had been done.

If they were married, it would have been sorted during divorce. But what people usually do in similar situations when they aren't married?

My friend gets more and more frustrated and would like to sort it out sooner rather than later. Ex refused to buy him out, he wanted to value the property but she refuses access. She said she could give him back his initial deposit (£10k paid 15 years ago) and that will be all sorted in her mind.

I'm not getting involved in any of this, just asking for advice on his behalf.

OP posts:
44PumpLane · 24/10/2022 07:36

Well I wouldn't be paying half for a cosmetic issue that I wasn't consulted about, I feel like she is trying it ok there.

If there was a genuine issue with the fence or Windows I would have hoped for some communication if she wanted to share the cost.

Assuming the value of the home has I created since he purchased it he should expect to get more back than what he put in.

Perhaps he needs to pay for a session with a solicitor to find out what his options are.

Givenuptotally · 24/10/2022 07:43

He will need to force the sale of the house through the courts so will need legal help. He may find mediation will help find a quicker ending to it all but it does depend on whether or not she’s willing to play ball.

Isaidnoalready · 24/10/2022 07:49

Depends what he wants continuity for his child or an antagonistic relationship with his ex he should work out what he has put in and what the value of the property is personally I would take it from the point where they split and not pay for the cost of the windows

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