New neighbour, 50 year old divorcee moved in about a month ago. There's a thread on here about an incident where I had my TV on at 11.15 pm not realising how late it was and she came round to knock on the door and say it was too loud, so I turned it down, and all seemed OK after I'd apologised. We live in mid terrace houses and both our houses have a dividing wall on both sides and my TV is on the wall. All fair enough.
The following morning I saw her and she said that her daughter thought she'd been a bit OTT but as far as I was concerned and her too, it seemed to be resolved. She then involved me in a lot of chat, asking me if I swear because she does, asking if I own or rent the property (I own outright, she rents it privately, I know the landlord) and asking about my relationship status all whilst telling me how she's a private person and keeps herself to herself but went on to tell me about her exes, her bitches of sisters and her parents who are dead and said she didn't care a fig about her mother and didn't want another man again. All TMI for me and certainly for someone who claims to be a private person. This was the third time I'd met her, the first two being a brief encounter on the doorstep when I was leaving for work the day after she moved in and the second when I dropped a welcome card and flowers round.
Since then I've been overly conscious about the TV and have had it on too low, in fact, and been a bit paranoid if I'm honest and have strained to hear it. I work full time, leaving the house about 7 am and often I don't get home until 8 or 9 because of late sessions at work, visits related to my small business after work and the gym or social stuff. I will run the vacuum over the downstairs at that time when I get back, but not for long. (I have 6 cats). I usually load up the washing machine at night (not every day, obviously) and switch it on about 6am because I have the Economy 7 tariff. I put the TV on but keep it below 24 volume.
This afternoon I was doing some tidying outside the front of the house and she walked up with some shopping. I'd thought she was in, as her car was outside, but she said she liked to walk to the local Sainsbury's, and she started chatting. I asked her if she'd settled in and she told me about how she was putting her own stamp on the place, and she liked the house to be perfect, cleaning every morning and every evening and she liked girly bling and glitz and pink glittery stuff around.
For conversation I said I was catching up on housework because I'd been out a lot in the evenings recently, and she told me how she likes to be on her own at home and quiet, and doesn't drink or smoke (I don't smoke either, and very occasionally drink) and she is a very quiet person, doesn't have her TV on loud, only puts the washing machine on after 10am because you never know who is having a lie-in on the street, is considerate when she does her vacuuming, is quiet as a mouse shutting her door and the car door and likes to be on her own and quiet.
She told me (again ...) she doesn't want a man in the house, in her kitchen, bed, bathroom or at her table ... for conversation I said that many of my friends are happy single too, and then she told me it's "bloody lonely".
Went on to tell me how she doesn't do the neighbour thing but then told me how she gave a birthday card with money in it to the 2 year old girl across the road, a family I don't know well since they moved in over lockdown. More revelations about swearing and how she was brought up in a swearing family, that made me cringe.
I'm not noisy, I don't slam doors or make noise in the house nor have people round for loud social events but I do have things to do around the house and I consider what I do normal. I've no intention of changing my routines either (I can't, not related to work) and I'm not planning my household or social schedule to fit in with the woman next door.
I appreciate this is a long tirade, but do you think she is passively aggressively (or however you say it) trying to set out how people should behave around her? Apart from the loud TV that one evening, I've done simply normal things around the house. Now I am watching TV on a sound level of 15 that I can hear and that is to me normal. I have no idea how she can hear my washing machine that is next to the wall that divides with the bloke next door, not her.
There just feels something off about this. Or I am massively overthinking. What do you think?