What have you learnt at school today?

[BoneBonita]

DH has asked the kids this question every single day since they started school as soon as he gets in from work. When the kids were younger they were more willing to discuss it but now they’re bored of it and are actively avoiding him when he comes in from work. On Thursday DS had gone upstairs just as DH was due to come in and out headphones on - cue DH stood shouting at the bottom of the stairs for him to come down and tell him what he’d learnt at school that day. It ended in a huge argument where DS shouted that he was sick of “this stupid question” and that he doesn’t want to talk about school constantly. DH pushed and pushed and it was just awful and unnecessary.

On friday he came in and DD was on her phone and he walked over to her, she said “Can you please not ask about school”. DH got annoyed and said he wasn’t going on about school, he just wanted to know what she’d learnt today. She stomped off upstairs without answering him, DS came down and said “what did you do at work today? What did you do at work today?” Over and over again. Another argument.

I ended up arguing with DH because I’m sick of this bloody question too!! AIBU to stick to my belief that the kids shouldn’t have to discuss school every fucking evening??!

All of our parents were annoying and yet still we managed to be respectful. I might have moaned to my friends but I certainly wouldn’t have followed my father up the stairs to goad him and I wouldn’t expect my kids to do that either.

My DF used to ask me and DB this. We'd always answer 'dunno' and he'd get exasperated. Thing is, we didn't know! It had been about 3 hrs between school ending and him getting home, we weren't thinking about it anymore.

Also, you don't learn discrete 'things' really I don't think. There's not really rote learning like my DF did. So we wouldn't be able to say 'we learnt the wives of Henry VIII' or whatever. Or like primary school 'we learnt the 7 times table'

It's more 'we did slightly harder algebra than last week' or 'we read a bit more of Romeo & Juliet' or 'we told each other how to get to the library in French'

None of that is 'a thing we learnt' it's just.... school. I don't think you even notice you're learning a new thing at school, except on a day when you move to a new section of the syllabus. It's just gradual broadening of the subject in an organic way.

It's also boring. He needs to put a bit of effort in on his end to start a conversation that's interesting to his DC. Not just a demand for them to recite at him. It's not like there's nothing going on in the world! Couldn't he ask if they'd heard about the prime minister?! Or the latest in Ukraine? Ask what they think of it? (and actually listen to the answer!)

All these posters saying the children aren't being respectful to their father - respect is earned and is reciprocal. If he respected the request to stop asking this specific question, they might open up to him more.
It sounds like a very Victorian set up - father gets home and the children must come to him and recite their learning from the day. Then they must disappear and the father believes he has done his parenting.

I used to joke (with them) that my boys would be ideal candidates for MI5 as they never told me anything. They’re now 15&18 and I do get snippets volunteered, but demanding info never works.