Am I stuck up? No fun?

[Financialsense]

can anyone relate to how it feels to be an introvert? The constant struggle of the introvert on nights out? I’ve just been away for the weekend for an occasion with a big group of family and friends. I have come to the conclusion that my upper limit for time I can happily spend drinking with people is about 6 hours tops, I’m not a big drinker anyway but by that amount of time has passed I have had enough of people and I just need to get away. I have no interest in trawling from bar to bar for 12 hours getting drunk.
I need time to myself, I find it genuinely exhausting to spend extended amounts of time in the company of others, especially when it involves just drinking and being in bars.
I used to love nights out when I was a bit younger, and pre kids, but I was only ever happy on nights out if I was very drunk and they were usually an opportunity to have a random shag, which I also used to love.
I no longer have any interest in being drunk, or in shagging about, I’m at my happiest either spending family time with DP and DC or just pottering around on my own, reading, listening to music, watching tv etc. if I go out nowadays (night out type of out) I’d be happy with a few hours out then home.
i feel like I’m in such a minority, that everyone else is seemingly happy to just spend all day and night drinking and talking, I know I’m seen as stuck up, aloof and no fun (I’m actually none of these things in reality, I’m incredibly down to earth and in a rare moment of self praise I can say I have a great sense of humour, I make people laugh and people generally like me when they know me) all because I don’t want to get drunk and because I’m generally happy to sit and listen and observe than to talk.
I feel like people don’t really understand my need, and it truly is a need, for solitude, even my DP and it makes me wonder if I’m strange😭
Any fellow introvert that can relate?

I think it's called growing up! Six hours? I've had enough after two. The last time I went on a boozy night out was pre-Covid. I had two drinks and that was enough. Brainless friend-of-friend next to me kept trying to make me drink more -"Oh go on!" The music was so loud we were all shouting. We went from there to another bar that was full of drunk blokes and with beer all over the tables, seats and floor. Really, OP, do yourself a favour and leave them to it.

I'm the same. I also used to stress that I didn't have big groups of friends but then realised that was my doing 😂

Six hours is 8pm -2am .. surely that is enough to satisfy most of the extroverts in your life?

Not just you, OP. People do tend to treat introversion like some sort of disorder and I've heard those things too - I'm cold, aloof etc when actually just being around people when I'm out is so bloody exhausting.
I haven't figured it out yet either but things that help I find:
I set clear boundaries and let people know "love to come but I'll have to leave by X time" not always easy, and hard to do for certain things
Try and schedule down time - like not spa days but literally just where I am alone - so my DH gets that if I've had a day in the office and come home to do kids bed etc I don't want to chat I just need some alone time.
Increasingly, I'm honest with people. I say that I'm introverted and I find social situations hard, but I still love seeing them and chatting etc.

3hrs tops... with alcohol!

I hear you OP

i used to be out every Friday after work until the early hours of Saturday, or until I was too pissed and needed to leave. Add a random shag in and basically that was my 20’s

Now I am happy with a few hours round at a friends house 😆 I would love weekends sat silently book reading

6 hours?!! That's impressive! I would be done after 2 hours (and would prefer a cup of tea!).

I’m not an introvert but I’d hate everything you describe. It’s just not my idea of fun.

I’m two hours.

You're not alone, fellow introvert! I start to dread the Christmas party invites and such other events at my volunteer jobs.

I breathed a sigh of relief when the Christmas party was cancelled last year. Yes, I know I don't have to go but it feels so awkward to decline if you know what I mean? Sometimes you are asked why you're not attending and that makes makes it even more awkward. I don't owe anyone anything. I'd really much rather be all cosy at home in my quiet, peaceful bedroom than in a noisy place with a crowd of people who've had a drink.

By the way, I have never attended the Christmas parties and don't feel like I missed out at all.

I'm exactly the same! My good friends totally get me. But I think some people just find our personality type difficult to understand. I'm accepting of that now and don't go out of my way to change anyone's opinion of me.

I can't last that long, I need quiet , I love a night out but mundane conversations destroy me. I enjoy the company, the event etc but then I sort of go into myself and need to get away
It all sounds like a hens house

Yes, I can relate. I'm a social introvert, so I'm chatty and sociable but it drains me. I need lots of time alone to recharge. I've offended many a friend in my life, because people tend to take it personally but it's not about them at all. Now I understand my own limits a lot better, I'm very honest with friends, and I won't do anything that I don't want to do. But even friends who know me well don't fully understand just how exhausting being around people is for me.

I don't know how old you are OP, but I imagine you'll care less what other people think the older you get. It's quite liberating. 😄

I wouldn't be up for 6 hrs and I wouldn't be drinking. If it's the kind of event where it makes no difference whether I drink or not, and if it's ok for me to leave when I want, then I go happily, otherwise I decline the invite, also happily.

I can do 4 hours.

I could have written this post, and I definitely find I worry less what people think the older I get.

I'm exactly the same. Now that I'm in my forties and a single parent, my colleagues just accept that I will decline all social events.

What a relief it is to opt out of all that. I mostly like the people I work with, but bar crawling with them is totally unenjoyable for me (I hate the meal too, small talk with the two people either side of you, or sitting listening to a conversation at the end of the table with a polite smile on your face - no thanks)

Like the OP I enjoyed going out drinking in my youth but that was mostly due to getting massively pissed!

Hate threads like this. I went on a hen do to Brighton and we went on a night out, one of them didn’t want to go as it wasn’t her thing. She had a cup of tea and read a book.

Guess what. No one cared. The bride especially didn’t care.

Doesnt that just come with growing up? That you can say “no I don’t want to do that” and continue living your life?

I can relate. I'm so glad I have the kids as an excuse not to go out. Would always get so drunk just to make myself louder and to fit in more. My friends are all very confident and will lead conversations whereas I like to stand back a bit. Weirdly I'm more extrovert at work, people actually think I'm funny!!

I have no issues saying no to nights out but am made to feel guilty for doing so.

My partner often says I should go out with the girls but I really have no interest in trying to compete with everyone shouting over each other.

I don’t think it’s an introvert thing, more a growing up thing.

I am extravert and could of written your post, accept I would have changed 6 to 4.

Except

Can totally relate. Many of my extrovert friends can plan entire 12 hour days socialising together and I just cannot sustain that, even for people I love the most in the whole world. Find it physically draining and I have to go off by myself.

My friends used to think I was a bit odd and it used to annoy them a bit - but now we're all older, and I'm still exactly the same, they accept it no questions asked and defend me if anybody does get cross about it.

Just be honest and straightforward and if they're real friends they won't care.

6 hours?!!!

I don't consider myself an introvert but I certainly couldn't cope with being in group company for anywhere near that.

Occasionally have to socialise for work. Eat a meal with them; have a drink and a little chat then I'm off. I just say I'm leaving - no reason or excuses given. I just go. Never feel bad about it.

Same here. Four hours tops and then I'm done.

6 hours is a great length of time. To me a good meetup is 3-4 hours tops then I want to be home.