to ignore the phone when I know it's my mate trying to ring me to cancel something?

[colditz]

She does this every week.

We arrange something, and come 8am that morning, she will ring and cancel. One of the kids will be mysteriously 'ill' - meaning she can't be arsed to walk into town.

I am making a stand. I am fed up with it. I'm not answering the phone to be lied to - she's appalling at it! She can make the effort, damn it, I always do!

No YANBU but maybe after you see her this time, don't bother to arrange anything else!
Unless her kids really are that ill? Test her - say, ok I'll come round to you then and help.....

yanbu...why do you think she does it?

I'd stop making arrangements with her.

I quite often cancel on people. I just find it very hard to plan ahead, because one of the children often is ill, or I have had no sleep, or just feel like shit and would be rubbish company. I try to be honest but sometimes feel like my friends don't believe me

I do love them and enjoy seeing them but sometimes it is just too bloody hard to organise.

It's tricky but some people have a different take on social arrangements.

Some people seem to find them quite easy, indeed pleasurable, while some (like me) find them very very stressful and hard work, despite loving the people involved...I often feel under pressure to agree to a meeting when I would rather have a natter on the phone, I just don't have the mental energy to think about anyone else for long, and if I do agree to meet and go even though I feel awful, I will take it out on the children later because I'm just so knackered.

People find it very hard to understand that I like them but can't find the energy etc.

I would wait for her to initiate in future. That way she will not feel pressured to say yes when really it's a no, you won't have plans cancelled, and both of you might feel better.

yanbu, especially when it gets a bit predictable like this. It's almost as if some friends "forget" that you have dc too and they/you also have to make an effort to get ready.

I finally got fed up with one friend when I set up a playdate and collected dd1 early from nursery. She was having a nap (unusually) and against my better judgment I woke her to bring her home. On my arrival home the friend rang to say that her child (3 at the time) didn't fancy it after all and was tired. Literally last minute. It is SO irritating so I sympathise.

She does initiate though. She arranged this today, went as far as to ring me and clearly ask, if i wasn't doing anything, if I wanted to go to toddlers with her. Just like she did last week.

believe me, I haven't arranged stuff with her for years!

It's as if once she has confirmed i will meet her, that's all the reasssurance of her popularity she needed, and she now can't be bothered.

Exactly, it's a walk for me too, my toddler is hard work too, I have to drop a child at school first too, and (although I loathe to play the 'single parent' card) she ha a husband around to help!

I'm just irrationally cross now. Ignore me. Her child probably is ill and I will feel like a complete shit for startinng thins thread.

Ah. I take it all back Colditz

She sounds like a complete pain in the arse.

Ignore my earlier advice, it was all based on wrongful supposition!!!