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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Holiday Fiasco Grande DH never has time for me

66 replies

roulemapoule · 23/10/2022 18:14

I have 2 DCs 2 and 1, my DH is older, has been married before and has older children. Anyway, my point is, he is an established man, his job is quite stressful and full-on, but has some advantages, I had this idea that we would enjoy the fruits of his labour in some style and ease, he keeps assuring me that everything is under control work wise, but in fact something always crops up, it's rather stressful. He is also quite disorganised and we are always chasing our tails with money. Because of work we moved 3 times in 3 years, every time the place was a mess and I had to organise renovations, etc., lots of entertaining needed and reorganise family life, on top of giving birth twice.

Anyhoo, we moved again in the summer as he took semi retirement. Things went well and although he's not the type to relax and take a back seat, I could imagine a future when he would slow down, children a bit older and he could support me in my career and ambitions. As a treat I booked a dreamy island holiday on the other side of the world. It is really our belated honeymoon and we have both been looking forward to this well deserved time away from it all, just us.

I can hardly believe what I'm writing but no sooner were we settled in paradise island that his phone was literally frying off the hook with work demanding his attention, all hours of the day and night! I told him to just turn it off but just, no, no possible! To some extend I understand, things are hot at work right now, it would be stupid to ignore. But still. Once he agreed to have his phone 'off' for dinner and he spent half of the evening in the bloody loo, whilst I ate lobster on my own. Does he think I am stupid and can't work out that he was on the blower all this time? I was fuming. I am fuming actually, we can never have moments to ourselves because of work emergencies and it's becoming rather tiresome. I need him to adore me and he simply is not giving me what I need.

Things got so bad that we had a massive argument and cut short our holiday and flew back to Blighty post haste. He is now attending to a series of urgent and important work crises, and when he is at home, constantly on the phone or in meetings with pp.

I have been left to unpack, process the holiday fiasco and look after our DCs, I am literally at my wits end!!

I know we have a great future together but at the moment it's hard to see.

Great wisdom of Mumsnet, tell me if BU or NBU and what should I do?

OP posts:
GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 23/10/2022 19:59

I don't like talking about his other family tbh

Well, they still exist. You probably wouldn't like the way they talk about you either.

bruffin · 23/10/2022 20:03

EscapeTheCastle · 23/10/2022 18:25

I don't find these funny anymore. Not sure why.

they were never funny in the first place

roulemapoule · 23/10/2022 20:03

Sorry@GreenFingersWouldBeHandy this was all but a joke and it seems I have somewhat been completely out of order.
@Despairingof is going to explain why in a minute.

OP posts:
ReneBumsWombats · 23/10/2022 20:33

What's the reference?

Donepaying · 23/10/2022 21:08

Looks like you might get your wish .. don't think he's coming out of semi retirement after all , did you not know ?

roulemapoule · 23/10/2022 21:43

@ReneBumsWombats well it's Carrie and Bojo and I happened to be wondering how things were from her perspective.

Since I'm not on mumsnet 24/7 didn't know it's been done to death -stiiiil can't find the thread(s) btw but that must be the real back story? - I wrote about their latest holidays. Some pp read it and got quite rage-y over it and wanted me to know that. If something is silly/boring to me I just scroll by, so not sure what their motivation is?
Also, it was all far too badly written for mumsnet, what else, I'm sad troll and damn, they recognised me. I think that's it.

OP posts:
roulemapoule · 23/10/2022 21:49

@Donepaying He's vaulted back onto his feet a few times so nothing would surprise me, but quite frankly I'm over it all, I just want to enjoy our nice lifestyle and think about me! And him of course. Us. And be a good person, right?

OP posts:
roulemapoule · 23/10/2022 21:55

Oh he just told me! I think we're going back to our love island, yay!

OP posts:
KatherineJaneway · 24/10/2022 08:36

DappledThings · 23/10/2022 18:30

Were they ever funny? Never seen one that made me do anything other than roll my eyes

No, they were never funny

EnalaGoya · 24/10/2022 11:06

Kill him.

Preeeettyprettygood · 24/10/2022 12:24

EnalaGoya · 24/10/2022 11:06

Kill him.

😂😂😂

Stankonia · 24/10/2022 13:15

WeepingSomnambulist · 23/10/2022 19:28

How sad is your life that you would actually take the time to sit and write that OP?
It isnt funny. People arent entertained. What's the point? What enjoyment do you get from writing from the perspective of someone in the public eye just to try and drum up ridicule, which doesn't happen because everyone thinks these posts are just stupid and boring.

If my kid came out with something like what you and some other posters have written I'd be ashamed to have raised such a massive twat.

I can just about accept that lack of empathy in a 14 year old. They say say that kind of thing. But for an adult to come out with it shows a lack of understanding of normal human behaviour. Do you have friends, do you have a job?

OP wrote something she found funny. You don't find it funny. Move on. Pretty much all of MN is bs now at least this doesn't pretend to be anything other than a joke post.

Stankonia · 24/10/2022 13:16

Some of you just take MN way too seriously. It's a concern.

roulemapoule · 10/11/2022 13:00

@Stankonia I never did thank you for your posts, did I?
Flowers Thank You Stankonia Flowers

This was the first time I ever started a thread, I don't know, I thought the premise might be fun.
I learned SO MUCH😈

So thank you @Stankonia for getting it 💯, and saying it 💥

OP posts:
CatJumperTwat · 10/11/2022 14:17

I don't like these threads because there are inevitably posters who don't get the reference and post sincerely, with everybody else around them making in-jokes. It feels like the kind of bitchy exclusion that teenagers are so good at.

I know it wasn't your intention OP but you asked why people don't like these threads.

roulemapoule · 10/11/2022 15:08

Thank you for explaining that @CatJumperTwat I totally understand that point of view and to some extend the hostility now. But as you said, it wasn't like that and that was clear from the word go, I couldn't even make myself string people along.
It turns out the in-jokes were on me as I had no idea what was being referred to, just nasty arcane posts... on the whole, a 'fiasco grande' of a thread😀
Still haven't found the 'carrie threads' though.
And MN has gained one more poster, who when in the right mood, doesn't mind offending the feelings of arseholes.

OP posts:
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