DH getting angry when his team loses

[Olinguita]

Today there is a certain important sporting event in which DH's country plays their greatest rival. DH's team is not currently doing well. Cue scowling face, yelling at the TV and general bad mood. I'm going out this afternoon with our one-year old but dreading the awful atmosphere I will come home to if his team doesn't win.
AIBU to think it's just sport and a grown man shouldn't create an unpleasant vibe at home over it?
He is dealing with some mental health issues at the moment and sadly has got form for really dark moods and quite nasty outbursts, so it's not a cut and dried case of an otherwise lovely and easy-going husband blowing off some steam at the weekend (in which case I would just see the funny side of it).

India vs Pakistan is a huge game. They hardly ever play anymore so allow him at least one day to feel the pain of a bad loss. Not like its an every weekend thing!

You shouldn't have to live like this, there's always going to be a game, a tournament, a world cup etc which will trigger him. Seek advice urgently from women's aid.

Does this justify her living in fear and stress.

No, he doesn't get a pass to be an arsehole because of sports. So stupid.

It's like one game every 2 years. I'm sure you all piss your partners off periodically. I know I do

No, he shouldn't act like an arsehole just because his country may lose. The game is now delicately poised. Who does he want to win BTW?

It’s a stupid fucking game.

He’s not personally playing. He’s sitting on his arse and watching.

He can deal with “his” team losing like an adult and not a petulant child.

Anyone who gets that upset by sport is a twat

I am very sad when I see wildlife documentaries describe what is happening to the climate and the world, when I read about injustices and tragedies. Does that give me the right to be horrible to other people? Why is sport different?

Oh I 100% get it! I enjoy these big showdowns on the rare occasions they happen, and get invested in them even though I'm not that into cricket.
I used to be able to let this kind of thing go with DH, but when you have a small child it's not so easy to just pop out to the gym or go round to a mate's house if there is an unpleasant atmosphere. You are a bit stuck with nap times and bed times, plus no-one wants to be parenting a toddler around a shouty adult. That's why this kind of thing hits harder now. However strong and independent a woman you are, you are a bit of a sitting duck once you have a small child around and I don't think tension in the home is good for the kid, even if it's sport-related.

That is ridiculous @Olinguita
What a turn off.
It's a GAME, it's not his life or his health or his job or his salary ... I'd be really turned off by this pathetic behavior.

How nasty are we talking, in terms of his nasty outbursts?
I'm just thinking of that statistic about rates of domestic abuse going up whenever there's a world cup football match.
Even if it's not that at that end of the spectrum, I'm really sorry you're having to deal with this whole parenting a 1 year old.
I hope today isn't too bad for you.

No I wouldn't be putting up with that. I'd be seriously considering whether I wanted to remain in this relationship.

If you feel, at a later point, say in a weeks time, that you could bring this up and have a sensible discussion about it and how it effects you AND your DH is open to understanding and changing his behaviour then ok. If not, then I'd be thinking of my exit strategy. Honestly.

Don't marry nasty, aggressive losers who are little pissbabies about sports. Consider if you want your son to grow up like this man.

If it’s the India Pakistan game, then you need to factor in that there’s a political and social undercurrent of ill will between the two countries as well as sporting rivalry.

How depressing that the very first response is to hand an angry man his Get Out Of Jail Free card. And to totally ignore the real issue, which has got jack-all to do with a sports match -
He is dealing with some mental health issues at the moment and sadly has got form for really dark moods and quite nasty outbursts

I read a statistic once and it shocked me that it hadn't occurred to me till then but it seemed so blindingly obvious - during tournaments e.g. World Cup and European league domestic violence rates go off the charts. In short yanbu he should be able to contain his emotions to the extent that he's not affecting the atmosphere in the household. I really don't know how some women manage.

The game is a red herring.

OP lives with a man who is so angry that she avoids him by taking her child out of the house, & dreads returning to the atmosphere he creates.

You’ll get lots of replies saying it’s perfectly normal for men to be aggressive and angry over sports but it’s not acceptable. In my opinion a man who gets angry and nasty over sports is like one who gets angry and nasty on drink - he’s an angry nasty man who’s found an excuse. Personally I couldn’t tolerate it. I’d find it pathetic and unlivable.

This is true. But with all due respect I am acutely aware of the social and historical baggage. Doesn't mean it's ok for my home to feel more tense than the Siachen glacier though.

Sport is no excuse for making your home unpleasant.

You hear about domestic violence incidents rising when someone's team loses. Its pathetic, it really is! I'm a big football fan and I support a particular team. I completely understand the emotional highs and lows that come with following a team. I've been there, many times. However, at the end of the day I pull myself together tell myself it's only a game!! It's really not important in the scheme of things. Your DH needs to realise he's being a baby and grow up.

If he's just a bit quiet and wants to be on his own it's fine. If he's nasty and aggressive it's really not.

He needs to grow up. It's only a game and not a reason to make your home unpleasant.

My football team
Lost yesterday in spectacular circumstances and I was in a bad mood at the match and in the drive home and was shouting when at the stadium but never took it out on my family when I got back last night!