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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have a car when I only do very minimal driving

111 replies

Princedelight · 23/10/2022 09:39

I have a car on finance. High interest(bad credit rating). 2 years left on finance. Its affordable to me.

However, I barely drive. Back story. Late learner. Very anxious re:driving.

Bought car straight after passing, on a bit of a whim.
Plan was to drive lots. Plan never happened. My anxiety about driving has improved loads ,but I'm still a shit ,inexperienced driver! It's never really taken off.

I do drive daily but its just school run, shops etc. Appointments. Apart from big supermarket shop, nothing I couldn't do on foot/public transport.

Up to now, I suppose I like my little car and I like the fact that I have my independence if I need it,or do actually have to drive(rare).
DP has his own car and drives a lot and does all the big trips/holidays and days out.

I've just sat here thinking why am I wasting my money- car finance, petrol, insurance etc for literally 100 miles a month. Its mad isn't it? I'm thinking sensible thing is to get rid when finance is up.
I could get bloody taxis for less. Or is it wise to keep driving and have my own car as back up.

OP posts:
cravattwat · 23/10/2022 13:44

Ffs... sell and buying a cheaper car but that's not an option.

If you sell it, you won't drive again. Otherwise I'd say get rid and use car clubs when needed.
You'll be dependent on your partner, taxis and public transport which is a right pain at times.

I would keep driving, build your confidence and keep that independence. That doesn't mean use the car if you can easily walk but do use the car when you need to, don't avoid it.

Get some advanced lessons and do a bit of distance driving. It's the only way to get used to it and you might need to drive long distance in the future.

Pickingmyselfup · 23/10/2022 13:58

I wouldn't give it up unless you were desperate for money.

I use my car daily during the week but barely clock any miles. I drive to school and back which is a mile only because if I walked I wouldn't get to work until 15 minutes later and would leave 15 minutes earlier. Added up over a month it's probably the insurance, electric/petrol and wear and tear combined so I wouldn't be saving anything at all realistically.

It gives me freedom on my days off too, if I want to take the kids somewhere random I can, I can do a massive supermarket shop whenever I want. Plus I visit my mum 90 miles away a few times a year, a rental would cost a fortune and I would be paranoid about it getting wrecked.

Definitely pro car from me!

balalake · 23/10/2022 14:25

Get rid of a car once you have no more finance I think.

You ought to in the meantime think about getting a manual licence. Just in case DP is temporarily unable to drive, say because of an injury.

Original poster
Princedelight · 23/10/2022 14:41

Thanks everyone
Lots to think about. Mostly pro keep car.
I guess it's just I don't know anyone in RL who has their own car and uses its as infrequently as me.

The only thing I won't do, is get a manual license! Took enough courage and effort to get my auto. I'm not going through that again.
And if for any reason DP couldn't drive, I do have my car for now. Anyway I'm sure we could survive even without a car, I certainly could and we live in a major UK city.
Growing up, my family didn't even have a car.

OP posts:
78Summer · 23/10/2022 14:50

I would keep the car. If you give it up you may not not drive again. I just started driving after a 10 year break and had to take refresher lessons as felt quite nervous. I now love my little car and mainly use it locally - lifts for the family and my nieces; and to drop in on my elderly dad - I call it my caremobile. With my partner I sometimes go further afield as he helps me with navigation. Perhaps you could drive on the next family trip out.

Original poster
Princedelight · 23/10/2022 14:56

@78Summer
I cant drive on family trips as my car too small. And cant drive DPs car as its manual and I have an automatic license. Plus he wouldn't want me to I don't think!!

OP posts:
Misty999 · 23/10/2022 14:57

I don't drive much but would never give my car up

Lisagreen12 · 23/10/2022 15:03

I gave mine up a year ago and I live in a village

Mol1628 · 23/10/2022 15:06

I don’t like to drive and do walk and use public transport a lot but I would never give up my car. Really need it when I do need it and if you are a nervous driver you’re better off keeping up with driving rather than stopping all together as you find it harder when life changes and you need to drive.

Badbadbunny · 23/10/2022 15:14

It really depends on where you live and your local transport options, not just now, but also in the future. Public transport is still being reduced in the regions, especially small towns and villages, and has been for decades. Unless you're living in a city with good public transport, you have to be VERY wary of what may happen in the future. The big cities seem to get public transport improvements, but smaller cities, towns and villages don't.

I live near a small city and the public transport is pathetic outside what they call the "corridor" between the city's Uni, the city centre, and the next nearest town, where buses are literally every 5 minutes. That's fine if you live within walking distance of that corridor. We live close to a smaller town just 4 miles away and we're stuck with an hourly bus M-F and two hourly evenings and weekends which takes over half an hour to travel those 4 miles!

For our village itself (a big village, 8,000 inhabitants), we lost our bus service in the mid noughties, so anyone living in our village is basically stuffed and needs to walk a mile or so to the by-pass to get the hourly bus to town!

So, do you need a car? If you live in a big city, then probably not. If you don't, then you may well manage at the moment without a car, but public transport is never going to be expanded outside the big cities, so you may find yourself severely restricted unless you're happy to constantly use taxis.

AutieAdult · 23/10/2022 15:19

I have no choice and have to rely on public transport (disability). I hate it. Keep the car for independence. Although your partner is happy driving it will be useful if he can’t drive either short term like broken leg or long term.

thelobsterquadrille · 23/10/2022 15:20

Devoutspoken · 23/10/2022 11:42

Get rid of your car , you can do so much using alternative modes of transport

That depends entirely on where you live - not only now but on where you plan to live in the future.

Lots of rural areas have no public transport to speak of. Where I live, there's a train service (but not on Sundays or BH's, or late at night). No buses, no late night taxi, no UBER.

If you want to take your kids swimming or to the cinema, you need a car.

Original poster
Princedelight · 23/10/2022 15:24

I live approx 5 miles from major UK city. Bus runs practically from outside my house to the city centre. Multiple train stations too.
I'm lucky.7 days a week only limited sevice is Sunday, but that's still every 30 min for most buses.
But I guess that's not why I would need a car,to get to the city centre, as I'd never drive there as too complicated.

OP posts:
mondaytosunday · 23/10/2022 15:27

I don't drive every day, and due to a mix up (I have a time restricted medical license) I was actually without a license for a few weeks and managed ok. But I wouldn't give up my car because there are occasions when it's essential. Like when there is a tube or train strike I drive my daughter to school, when I visit my son I drive. While I could possibly rent a car on occasion I don't think that would be economical, as without a permit it's £25/day just to park outside my house.
To me a car means freedom, and I'm not giving that up.

thelobsterquadrille · 23/10/2022 15:32

Princedelight · 23/10/2022 15:24

I live approx 5 miles from major UK city. Bus runs practically from outside my house to the city centre. Multiple train stations too.
I'm lucky.7 days a week only limited sevice is Sunday, but that's still every 30 min for most buses.
But I guess that's not why I would need a car,to get to the city centre, as I'd never drive there as too complicated.

But will you live there forever?

orangeisthenewpuce · 23/10/2022 15:38

When I first learned to drive I used to go out and just drive around aimlessly going a bit further each time. That's how I got confident in my driving abilities.

sicklycolleague · 23/10/2022 15:47

OP it feels like the biggest thing here is the anxiety. Can’t you tackle that instead? A mix of solo medium distance trips (or you and a friend) driving somewhere in the countryside and some kind of talking therapy?

If you talk yourself out of journeys it won’t get better

Badbadbunny · 23/10/2022 15:51

sicklycolleague · 23/10/2022 15:47

OP it feels like the biggest thing here is the anxiety. Can’t you tackle that instead? A mix of solo medium distance trips (or you and a friend) driving somewhere in the countryside and some kind of talking therapy?

If you talk yourself out of journeys it won’t get better

Exactly this. The best way to improve driving skills & reduce anxiety is to do more and more of it. If you shy away from it and do less, the OP will never get better!

Original poster
Princedelight · 23/10/2022 16:00

sicklycolleague · 23/10/2022 15:47

OP it feels like the biggest thing here is the anxiety. Can’t you tackle that instead? A mix of solo medium distance trips (or you and a friend) driving somewhere in the countryside and some kind of talking therapy?

If you talk yourself out of journeys it won’t get better

Agree totally. But I'm trying to be realistic. Ive promised myself a million times I will do more driving. But I don't.
That's why I'm looking ahead as to when finance ends I will probably be in the same position!!!!
At least getting rid of the bloody car means no more pressure to drive when I don't like it or want to.

OP posts:
Original poster
Princedelight · 23/10/2022 16:02

Badbadbunny · 23/10/2022 15:51

Exactly this. The best way to improve driving skills & reduce anxiety is to do more and more of it. If you shy away from it and do less, the OP will never get better!

Show quote history

God I know! Why cant it be that easy!?

OP posts:
rookiemere · 23/10/2022 16:10

So a cautionary tale is my friend who has passed her license but lived in London until about 5 years ago when she came back here to be closer to help look after her DPs.

Except the DPs are an hour away by train. She says she wishes she could pluck up the courage to drive as would make the trip so much easier and comfortable, but she hasn't driven for so long that she can't bring herself to do it.

I don't enjoy driving- the closest I come is if I'm doing a known motorway route on my own, not in a rush. But I persevere.

What's the penalties like if you pay back the loan early or hand back the car ? That might help you make a decision.

Tort · 23/10/2022 16:15

I live in zone 5 and sometimes don’t drive for 2 or 3 weeks. Never drive to work or school. I just like the convenience though - often DS is invited to a party it’s hard to get to another way or we’ll want to drive to either set of grandparents. It’s fully owned cheap wee runaround though.

Heyahun · 23/10/2022 16:20

Surely a family car you all can drive makes more sense here.

Original poster
Princedelight · 23/10/2022 20:30

rookiemere · 23/10/2022 16:10

So a cautionary tale is my friend who has passed her license but lived in London until about 5 years ago when she came back here to be closer to help look after her DPs.

Except the DPs are an hour away by train. She says she wishes she could pluck up the courage to drive as would make the trip so much easier and comfortable, but she hasn't driven for so long that she can't bring herself to do it.

I don't enjoy driving- the closest I come is if I'm doing a known motorway route on my own, not in a rush. But I persevere.

What's the penalties like if you pay back the loan early or hand back the car ? That might help you make a decision.

I suspect penalty be a lot as only half way through loan

OP posts:
Original poster
Princedelight · 23/10/2022 20:33

Heyahun · 23/10/2022 16:20

Surely a family car you all can drive makes more sense here.

For that to happen, I'd have to get rid of my financed car
DH TO sell his and then buy an auto one and then put me on insurance. He's not going to do that. No benefit to him. He has a car. I have a car
No issue.

OP posts: