Always taking the later lunch

[Noodge]

I 'man' a helpline on a night. Two or three of us, colleagues in same role each shift, and one manager although manager wouldn't work every night.

Manager recently got seconded to a different department. Her job was advertised (also as a secondment) and a colleague applied for and got it, although she does work each night I work.

Before she was seconded into this position, we used to swap lunches, one of us taking the latest one, one the earlier one. If the third colleague is there, she prefers the earlier one so always goes first, then me and 'manager' colleague would swap as we both prefer later (I hope this makes sense)!

Now she's got the position she always takes the later lunch. I feel It's unfair-her reasoning is she now works later due to her new position. She works 15 min to half an hour later and she chose to go for that position. She's also paid more.

One shift recently I was feeling really unwell (VERY rare for me, I'd had a small procedure done that had given me an awful headache) and told her I'd prefer the later one as I was struggling to keep awake and an earlier 'lunch' exacerbates this. She said yes at first and then said 'no you go now and have a rest'.

I feel It's unfair, It's pissing me off and I am tempted to raise it with her or our old manager (who 's still our 'official' manager).

If I don't say anything, old manager will ask me how It's been going at some point, I know she will and I'll struggle to not tell her.

Who is being unreasonable/WWYD?

You want to call in sick because you aren’t getting your break when you want it?

I like taking the early break. Everyone I work with prefers a late break. When I'm on nightshift (7:30pm-8:30am), I'm always amazed that people are happy to wait until 5am to go on break....even though we got often get unexpectedly busy and they end up missing their break entirely.

Truthfully OP this sounds like a combination of sour grapes that a former peer has gotten a promotion and you not feeling well.

I’d suggest taking the night off to rest, to start. (Hope you feel better soon!)

Longer term I’d work on realizing that the dynamic has changed between you two and decide if you can live with that change.

I was sort of on your side until you said you were going to call in sick. Are you actually still sick then?

She works later now and is more senior - it makes sense she takes the later break. She's not in the same role she was before when you both used to alternate.

Honestly, this is such a small issue - taking a break an hour earlier - and you're so annoyed about it, I think that really you're more upset about her being promoted, being more senior to you now, and being paid more.

I'd sit down, cool off and have a think before you react to this one.

If it made you feel that ill why didn't you go home sick?

She works later so it's only fair that she gets the earlier lunch IMO. It's nothing to do with her being the manager and everything to do with her working longer hours.

YABVU for considering ringing in sick over this.

I think that if you prefer late lunch, seconded manager prefers late lunch and other colleague prefers early lunch, then you should go for your lunch to fall in the middle.

At my work, we have lunch either 12-1 or 1-2 and when there’s 3 of us in, one takes 12:30-1:30.

Would that be an option?

I’d say that as she has to stay later, even if by half an hour, it makes sense she takes the later break.

I'm back.

To answer some questions and clear up some speculation;

I am definitely, definitely not jealous, feeling 'sour grapes' or bothered in the slightest that she's on this secondment. It is not a job I'd ever ever want.

@Unicorn2022 Changing the lunch times isn't an option. To clarify I work 8pm until 7 am. The 'lunch' I get now is at midnight. We can't change it because at the moment there are only us two working and a third colleague who isn't on our shift comes in to cover from midnight until 2.

@KettrickenSmiled as to why keeping it to myself, well because I don't want animosity when there's just me and her. I don't want to make things any worse.

But including the other issues I've had with her (that I'll put at the bottom of this post) I am now considering going to our manager anyway.

I agree, she CHOSE this job and the hours. Not my fault.

@SteakExpectations and others, I'll clarify.

I am not considering ringing in sick over this particular one issue.

I am not and would not consider calling in sick because this issue over lunch times has irritated me.

I've not called in sick for years. I've been in this job and working with a severe kidney infection, and with covid (it's remote) although I felt very ill. I was capable of working, It's an easy job, both times albeit I took a ten min break now and again (we're entitled to do this but I rarely do) because I don't like letting colleagues or clients down, and I felt valued and appreciated.

This colleague has now changed that and I don't at all!

I have had a procedure done that's left me with a horribly banging head that I am taking strong painkillers for. This would never usually make me call in sick, I would go into work with a horrible headache provided I was capable of my job, however going in when I know I am going to be nitpicked at and treated badly, while having said horrible headache is a different thing altogether.

Other things that I've had issues with;

I take no breaks aside from my lunch, ever. I asked could I take a break last night for my OOH Doctor to call me about this health issue. She said no. (For clarification I had a similar thing albeit a different health issue occur some months back and our (actual) manager had absolutely no problem with me doing this-in fact that time I didn't actually take a break, I just took the call and told the doctor sorry but if a call came through I'd have to go. We get VERY few calls at that time of night, so unlikely.

I type fast-much faster than colleague, it has been noted many times. She 'told me off' for spending about 7 minutes typing up after a call a few days ago.

Ridiculous, and petty. I responded that I am fast but not that fast.

A different manager set me a task via email, CCing colleague in. I did the task within the hour (despite it not being in my working hours not that that's relevant to this but I am conscientious) and responded, again CCing colleague in.

Two days later I had an email from colleague telling me to get on with the task. It alarmed me as I thought perhaps I'd not done it or forgotten to send note that I had. Nope-I had done all of it correctly and emailed them both. Colleague also hadn't read properly what the task was and told me to 'make sure I do X in future' (X had nothing to do with the task, and I DO always do X).

Set me and (3rd) colleague a task to do, say 20 files of something, so ten each. Told me to do more of them because colleague isn't as fast as me. Now I am happy to do this voluntarily and probably would have offered if I had the time, but don't feel I should be penalised because I type fast and 3rd colleague doesn't.

I took a very important call and had to call through to the emergency services. Time-sensitive issue.

On our system, one can tell when someone is on such a call. Colleague/manager rang through to me while I was on this call, and interrupted for about 5 mins for no reason other than she hadn't bothered to look at my status before realising I was on the phone to emergency services. I had answered this call because I couldn't imagine she'd be ringing me while I was on the phone unless it was absolutely crucial information, but it wasn't.

I think, she's struggling with the job and panicky and taking it out on me. That's what my gut instinct says. I want to go to our manager because I am very unhappy at how things have changed. But I am not sure how to do it and obviously (as is illustrated on this post) manager might think It's sour grapes, although when the job came up I was encouraged to apply but didn't-I simply didn't want it.

YABVU. Mountain and molehill.

To be honest I've worked many years of night shifts and they are tough enough as it is, but being forced to take a lunch break at midnight (so still having 6 hours of shift left after lunch - nearly a full working day for some people) would make me physically and mentally unwell.

It's not nice, @Unicorn2022 and as I've said It's by far the only issue. I just wanted to see what others said about that issue in particular. I can't take another few months of her nitpicking so I think I will raise it, just not sure how! If I am not asked about things first, that is.

Just because someone is more senior does not meal they get all the perks!!
it’s also only 15mins longer shift not that much in the grand scheme things.

I'm really surprised at how many of you think this is ok. Things should still fair regardless of rank!!

I'm getting a mixed bag of opinions here now.
I don't think I can work under her for another few months. Going to have have say something.

Did you apply for her job?

It's your choice if you don't take your allocated/legal breaks. Are you actually safe to work if you don't have a break during your shift? You might be breaking the law.

Also your choice to whine about it afterwards.

As is your choice not to call in sick when you're ill. Or after medical procedures. Then moan about it afterwards.

Honestly, you sound like a nightmare to work with.

Going to have to say something

About WHAT!?!?! You haven't even explained apart from being narked about not always getting the breaks you want.

In this scenario a later break is just logic, not a perk as such.

The manager is working longer hours and therefore doesn't want a huge gap between lunch and home time. OP's day is shorter so it makes sense for her lunch to be earlier.

No I didn't. I didn't want it at all, I'm happy doing what I do.

I didn't moan about it. I 'moaned' about when I asked for a later lunch because it would help me with my situation, her saying okay and then going back on her word minutes later because she wanted the later lunch.

I have explained. If you click on 'see all' it will take you to my posts.

What about me 'sounds like a nightmare '?

I work in an environment that it 1 on break at all times (can be cancelled in an emergency) my break is dictated by my shift leader, depending on my role it can be a 10am
lunch or 7pm tea depending on my job role.

I have also worked where I’m management and people have come in to talk to me all day I’ve been lucky to get 5 minutes in 12 hours to have a break.

I have too, (used to be an emergency services worker).
It isn't breaking the law. :)

I think that most of the people that think you're BU have never worked nights. I totally relate to the horror of being allocated the earliest break, and then coming back on duty to that awful feeling of the rest of the long night stretching out in front of you.

It sounds to me like you’ve been managed up to now by a good manager with good people skills who has put herself out to make sure you all have the best experience you can. You now have a supervisor who has little management experience and sees leadership as telling people what to do rather than encouraging and enabling them to reach a goal.

To be honest I think you’ve been lucky. I do understand why your colleague is making you hate your job, but I think a lot of it is fairly trivial compared to what many people put up with in work. Bad management is endemic and god awful to work under.

Part of the problem is that you have limited power in this situation and there is some risk in raising it as an issue. If you need to work then you probably ought to start looking for another job just so you know whether you can afford to loose your position over this. Of course, there are no guarantees that a new job will have a better manager. As I said, bad management is very common.

If your old manager is still in your management chain (it was unclear to me) I would start my emailing her asking for a meeting at which you tell her you’re struggling under the new structure and you’re wondering if there’s any training available for colleague. When she asks why, detail how your working conditions have deteriorated since colleague took over. Say you suspect she’s struggling (for reasons you say above) and also that she doesn’t seem to be concerned about your welfare when she makes decisions which, obviously, is hitting your morale.

But be prepared for the company as a whole to think it’s within the bounds of acceptability.

Alternatively you could see if there are other secondments you could apply for while she is your supervisor. This would hopefully take you out of the

Hit send too soon

…out of the firing line until your old manager returns.