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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To Throw a Complete Strop

18 replies

NeverDropYourMooncup · 22/10/2022 18:57

...and order a new washing machine?

The current one is three years old, bought after my Bosch did fifteen years of loyal service.

I decided my oldest running shoes would benefit from a wash, so I mentioned this to DP. Usually, a casual mention of anything results in zero action, so I didn't think anything of it until I heard the thuds as he hadn't added towels to cushion them as I would have done.

A fortnight goes by and I decide to do the pile that was building up whilst he was out - only to find that the seal had torn once three million gallons of water comes gushing out. Oh well, I didn't give him specific instructions only that I'd do it when the bath towels went in later to stop the trainers getting caught in the door seal, shit happens. Might have been nice if he'd have mentioned it at the time, though, I'm running out of clothes.
I ordered a new seal which eventually arrived. Had to show him how to get the machine out by wiggling it from side to side, but that's OK. not everybody knows how to get things out of tight spaces. His idea was to get a metal bar in there and not worry about breaking the casing, the freezer or the cupboard next to it. There was also the 'you won't have room, it doesn't come out any further than that (I unscrew the hose clip, the hose magically gets longer, problem solved).

After some effort, got the top off (it had swollen where somebody hadn't been clearing up water spills as promptly as I would do, but it came off in the end). His suggestion had been to get a saw and cut it in half or snap the side trim to lift the lid up instead of sliding it out the back as designed. Because I had to have been wrong, it was impossible for the lid to slide out.

Started putting the seal on. It's a pig of a job getting the folds to open in order for it to catch on a tiny metal lip, even with using washing up liquid as a lubricant. After a couple of breaks, cramp, hand pain, etc, etc, it finally popped on all the way round when I muttered at the thing 'You do know I can afford to replace you, don't you?'. So time to put the retaining wire back on, for which I need help, as it's held by a spring, rather than an easily tightened nut. DP keeps leaning on the inside, so just for the last bit, I ask him to use a flat bladed screwdriver to stretch it over the top as I ensure the wire stays around the rest of the seal. He pulls the wire out of my hands and the seal partially off. I replace the seal (which takes ages, more cramp, hand pain, etc). Try again. He pulls to the side and the seal pops off, narrowly missing my eyes with the screwdriver. My fault because I didn't say don't pull out and to the side when I said 'I'm holding the bottom of the wire over the lip, you need to use the screwdriver like this - shows him - to get the spring to stretch slightly and for it to go over the lip to hold the seal on'. Last try.

As I'm fighting the damned seal again, the drum nearly takes my fingers off because he's leant on it and stretched a supporting spring. I didn't tell him not to lean his entire body weight on something supported by two springs, either.

When I express frustration about it, he suggests that next time, I make sure I know what I'm doing before I have a great idea and that there was nothing wrong with having a mountain of dirty clothes and a permanently wet floor as now, I've broken the washing machine.

He's also just suggested that we don't need to buy a new one because things can be washed in the bath and it's not as if I need that many clothes for work. I have no clean knickers, no clean socks, the bedlinen needs doing and I might well need to get blood out of what I'm wearing today if he says one more word to me.

I could go to the laundrette. I certainly don't trust him to do it when there's weird settings like hot and cold he could pick for knitwear and bedlinen respectively or I could just order the damn Miele I wanted in the first place instead of the cheap ass Hoover he bought because it was cheap.

By the way, I did look into getting a repairman in to do it. The minimum cost would have been £120 plus part at £70, plus VAT. The part costs £18. And the first available time was November 29th. The machine cost £230.

Shall I just give up and buy the machine and book a hitman?

Obviously lighthearted, but it would be nice if something went smoothly for a change and he wasn't unable to understand what I didn't just say to him, I explained and showed him before he decided to ignore me and yank the damn thing out.

OP posts:
Notaderrysgirl · 22/10/2022 19:13

Life is far too short for that amount of aggro, deffo get a new washing machine :)

Aquamarine1029 · 22/10/2022 19:25

Get a new partner while you're at it. He's as daft as a mud fence.

pewtypie · 22/10/2022 19:34

Could you buy the annual protection for £15 and says it’s a new fault?

Our machine was also £230, but a Beko. We also broke the seal by putting in a backpack. The straps because very sharp in the spin cycle and sliced through the seal.

We just used a black sticky substance on it and that has stopped the leaks.

Machine still going strong after 6 years.

Yesthatismychildsigh · 22/10/2022 19:38

he sounds extremely unintelligent and lacking common sense. I couldn’t be with someone like that as I just wouldn’t respect them.

lentilly · 22/10/2022 19:39

Firstly, I'm amazed that you have gone a fortnight without doing any washing - very impressive.

Secondly- get a new machine he's being ridiculous suggesting the bath as a solution.

lentilly · 22/10/2022 19:40

We just used a black sticky substance on it and that has stopped the leaks. What substance? Marmite?

Soubriquet · 22/10/2022 19:43

Let him do the washing up in the bath.

Bet he begs for a new washing machine

JudgeRindersMinder · 22/10/2022 19:49

lentilly · 22/10/2022 19:40

We just used a black sticky substance on it and that has stopped the leaks. What substance? Marmite?

🤣🤣🤣

pewtypie · 22/10/2022 19:52

lentilly · 22/10/2022 19:40

We just used a black sticky substance on it and that has stopped the leaks. What substance? Marmite?

You are obviously untutored in the art of temporary washing machine fixes!

Something like this

V-Tech VT-131 Quality Auto Sealer Silicone Adhesive Sealant: 75gm

amzn.eu/d/hIflSEg

JustOrderADoor · 22/10/2022 19:54

Why are you with this absolute tool? (Tool is too useful to describe him, but the words I grew up using are now frowned upon)

I don't think new Miekes are worth the money, they're not built like the old ones.

I have an LG direct drive and I'd get another if anything happened to mine that wasn't repairable.

lentilly · 22/10/2022 20:03

pewtypie · 22/10/2022 19:52

You are obviously untutored in the art of temporary washing machine fixes!

Something like this

V-Tech VT-131 Quality Auto Sealer Silicone Adhesive Sealant: 75gm

amzn.eu/d/hIflSEg

Thank you! Always good to learn these things!

hesbeingabitofadick · 22/10/2022 20:18

If you want a miele, get one.
Don't let him near it!

Gymnopedie · 22/10/2022 20:19

What are his good points OP? He must be absolutely amazing at other things for you to be in a relationship with him. If he was this incompetent at everything I couldn't cope.

girlmom21 · 22/10/2022 20:24

Get a new washing machine and send him to the launderette with anything he wants to wash in future.

Oh and wash your shoes in a pillow case!

RedHelenB · 22/10/2022 21:15

I always put trainers in by themselves yabu to blame him for breaking the machine. Just order a new one.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 22/10/2022 21:21

His other characteristics are

Kind
Funny
Generous
Creative
Hard Working
Smart
Patient
Dependable
Trustworthy
Well read
Musically talented
Likes cats, plants and the outdoors
Doesn't make any demands of me beyond wanting me to be happy
Never gets angry, never raises his voice outwith singing, never holds a grudge
doesn't bitch about me online

But spatial awareness and coping with a process that has subroutines/variations? Not a skillset he holds - I don't even look in the dishwasher usually, as the way things are just piled in makes my teeth itch. I needed him as another pair of hands/muscle as I'm physically a bit shit but thrive on flat pack, mechanics and process analysis.

I'm ranting because it should have been a simple process to deal with the problem. All I needed was a little muscle. Slightly less inflammation in my finger joints would have been nice. And definitely not telling me it would have been better to leave it pissing water out on every washload when I'd just nearly lost the tips of three fingers.

The making him wash things in the bath made me laugh, though. That's what he did when the late lamented Bosch bit the dust and he reckoned we didn't need to buy a new machine. Two months of washing everything by hand changed his mindset nicely.

Everything's OK here, he's making a late night snack and tea whilst I'm looking at washing machines and next day delivery on socks.

I'm not going to mention the idea I had yesterday about switching around the bedroom furniture this week. The notion of taking clothes out of a wardrobe before attempting to move it might make his head explode.

OP posts:
WhoWants2Know · 22/10/2022 22:26

I have had to do the hold/stretch retaining wire over a washing machine seal before, OP. Your husband is lucky you didn't give him the boot.

CoffeeBeansGalore · 22/10/2022 22:33

Get the cheaper end Miele. I bought one 2 years ago (approx £520. More than I would normally pay but so worth it). It's been fantastic so far.

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