Anyone else a massive overthinker?

[thecatspyjamas33]

I've realised that I over think the future way too much and it's affecting my ability to enjoy the here and now. Example - I'm sat debating with myself about having a small glass of wine tonight because I promised I'd take ds swimming tomorrow and I'm worried I won't feel 100%. So I'm depriving myself of something I enjoy on the off chance there'll be a minor consequence.

Other examples, I'll see the weather forecast say it's going to rain so I won't go somewhere because it won't be as enjoyable. Most often it doesn't rain at all and I've missed an opportunity.

I also have ibs - not constant or severe but can be a pain when it flares up occasionally. I constantly pre empt an attack and therefore won't go to certain places. Why can't I just get on with life and deal with the consequences if and when they arise (99% of the time they don't!)

I never used to be like this. I used to say yes to last minute plans, jump in the car and go wherever I fancied, not have to have every day rigidly planned after studying the weather and modifying my diet. It's draining. I think it's some sort of anxiety/control issue but wondered if anyone else is like this and how you manage to conquer it.

I’d bet about 80% of those posting on AIBU are over thinkers based on most of the posts on here

The second and third examples sound completely normal to me. I only say the first doesn't because I'm a huge fan of wine.

I'm an overthinker. I have really tried hard to stop and be in the moment more. Listen to my gut instinct rather than think through every single possibility.

I used to be, weirdly I’ve got it under control by learning how to meditate.

I'm absolutely the same. But then sometimes surprise myself and make a decision really clearly. I actually think the second guessing alcohol is really sensible!

I find meditation really helps me too, the better I've got at it the more I've been able to pause and step back and think about things a bit more rationally, like if we go and it rains is it the end of the world or just a different type of day. I find reframing things in my head that way really helps. I also found that when my anxiety was really bad my ibs was also really bad the two are definitely connected and the more anxious you are the more flare ups you'll have which will contribute to the cycle of anxiety around going out. Sometimes you just need to practice saying yes to things, the more you do it and the more you're out and about the more you realise your anxiety isn't really correct in what it tells you. It's a false sense of control.

Yes yes yes. I’ll even think over conversations I’ve had already wondering if I fucked up. I turn down food at parties and drinks incase it sets off my ibs because I don’t want it to kick in while out even if I’m hungry or thirsty. I like plans with plans and lists of plans.

I didn’t eat today to be healthy the dh got take away now my whole day is like whoah so I need to change tomorrow now to make up for it.

washing needs to be planned to dry and he did washing on a day it rained all day that was hard. Because I wouldn’t of washed it because the forecast said rain.

Maybe try something like CBT. Overthinking really saps the joy out of life so it is something that needs addressing

I would class myself as an overthinker in terms of work and social relationships. In exploring all the possible connotations and outcomes I will anticipate the worst happening which in some ways can be useful but can also be paralysing and stop me from facing things or making decisions as I imagine the worst especially people's reactions. In some cases I have been socially perceptive about people being offended by something and quelled myself from saying anything or been talked out of it and it has come to pass. But doesn't always. It can be really useful in terms of being prepared eg thinking about the various weather scenarios and packing accordingly for my kids. So for me it can be useful at times but I need to not let it stop me from doing stuff.

Yeah I'm an overthinker too it's both and it really impacts my life. I have no advice op but know your not alone x

Yes. But slowing down has really helped. Reading a book instead of telly. Slow mindful walks. Etc. It hasn't totally gone away but its helped.

I’ll also agree to events then regret it because I always think the worst about the event. Then I’ll get all worked up about it then Likely drink too much to try and fit in because I can’t relax and am always on edge.

I definitely overthink. I often over complicate things by trying to predict issues ahead of time but often they don't happen but I've created another issue by planning as if they will.

I also turn down food and drinks if I'm out. Or if I know I have to go somewhere I'll not eat breakfast and so on.

Another one - massively overthinking hair wash days. Do I need to do it then because of plans on that day etc? So ridiculous.

I'm exactly the same. I'm thinking all the time, my mind never stops. I go over every possible scenario and worry far too much. I used to go on holiday or a night out last minute and would never worry about the consequences or being ill for example. I don't know when it changed. But now I avoid certain places and prefer to stay at home or somewhere familiar.
It's been shown recently that anxiety is linked to gut issues. And I feel now I'm trapped in a cycle where my anxiety increases, so my IBS gets worse, which then makes my anxiety about going out worse!

I can tend to be like this and it worsens when life gets too busy and it’s a signal for me to try and slow things down so I’ve got more headspace. I also try to go with the mantra “better to regret something you’ve done than not done” to push me out of my comfort zone and say yes to things.

i do.

I’m quite good in a crisis, because I’ve already imagined the worst case scenario.
Ive missed out on loads of things over the years and I annoy myself with it sometimes.

Since having a milestone birthday, I’ve been consciously pushing myself to say yes to stuff. I ant stop overthinking but I can stop missing out.

I can well understand you being cautious around food though. Having a friend with IBS, That seems entirely reasonable.

I am - my DH reminds me frequently. I also have pretty severe anxiety so it makes sense.

I am also an overthinker. It is really the biggest downside to me. I over analyze everything. Then when my head is clear I hate myself for doing so.

I've just had a very big shock and hopefully a wake up call. About 10'days ago in terms of anxiety the wheels totally came off and I had to have intervention from the crisis team. I've always suffered from depression but this was about very severe spiralling anxiety. Luckily they have been incredible but the experience was absolutely terrifying and if they hadn't been able to treat me very quickly I can't imagine I could have lasted much longer with the thoughts in my head.

What it's made me realise was how governed subconsciously I have been by my anxiety and that I've been in flight or fight mode for a very long time. The depression is a result of the anxiety we believe. It makes me a little sad now looking back at the decisions I've made and the way I've acted all because of my anxiety which lay tucked away, my silent passenger. Silent until it started to scream it head off that is.

I really am sorry for all those going through similar. For a long time I've put this down to a personality quirk 'it's just the way I am' but now it's getting in the way of my life I feel like I need to get control. I just don't know how.

Yeah I get it. I also think overthinking is another name for anxiety.

OMG YES!!! it's pathological in terms of it having a massive impact on my mental and professional health. Only now in my late 30s am I realising, accepting and trying to do something about it.

Have to say, my 20 year old dd's overthinking has improved with her ADHD meds (she has ADD type of ADHD). One of the symptoms of ADHD, particularly in women, is an overthinking every busy catastrophising mind

I have just taken an online questionaire and apparently my answers dictate i should seek further assessment.