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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder why I've lost all interest in dating

4 replies

christmasleggings · 22/10/2022 08:35

I can't work out what's going on.

I've never really been single. I was the girl at school who always had a boyfriend. I met my ex husband at 15. When we divorced 5 years ago, I had two more partners (for over a year each) and, in between, a really active dating life.

I'm lucky to have very good genetics so, despite being a 35 year old mum of 2, I've always had lots of male attention (I can't think of a less obnoxious way to phrase that, apologies).

The pursuit of a partner has always been a big thing for me.

All of a sudden I have absolutely no interest in dating.

I have no interest in casual dating or long-term dating.

Even from a physical perspective, except for when I was pregnant with my boys, I don't think I've gone this long without sex since I was 16. And it's not bothering me one bit. The thought of having sex with a new person actually kind of repulses me.

Everything else in my life suddenly feels more important than dating.

I forced myself onto a date last weekend (with someone I already knew) and despite him being attractive and interesting, I still couldn't wait to wrap it up and go home, or head to meet my friends for a drink. This pretty much sums up my entire attitude to dating right now.

It doesn't feel like it's coming from a negative place. It's quite a nice calm feeling. I'm hoping it's a reflection on (FINALLY) being happy single.

It's confusing me though and even concerning me a bit because it's so completely out of character. I don't know what to make of it but I figured there must be a few other people on here who have been through the same and can reassure me I'm not just turning into a dried up old misery-guts!

OP posts:
zonky · 20/12/2022 09:06

A change in hormones? Peri menopause?

UntilHootOwlReturns · 20/12/2022 09:17

Same. No interest in it at all. Seems like a lot of hassle, and for what? Maybe you've just come to that realisation that life is full and happy already so why disrupt it?

MaybeIWillFuckOffThen · 20/12/2022 09:20

How old are your kids? Mine are 5 and 2 and I can think of NOTHING I would have less time for now than dating. Waaaay too much effort for dubious reward. My energy and time resources are limited, and if I was single I would not be wasting them chasing blokes.

SallyWD · 20/12/2022 09:24

If you've had non-stop boyfriends since puberty maybe you just need a break from it all? It's not like you have the pressure of needing to find someone to have a family with. You already have children so I assume dating is just for pleasure. I'd just leave it for now and enjoy your life as a single women. In the future you may want to start dating again.
Despite being happily married, I have to say the single life seems hugely appealing to me.

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