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Original poster

To not be happy with my GP reaction to depression?

34 replies

foxcote90 · 22/10/2022 08:14

So I spoke to the doctor a couple of weeks ago about my postnatal depression and she just told me that I need to go outside and exercise more. I don't know what I was expecting, but I suppose more help than that?!

Apologies in advance for the ramble and general brain dump...

I've had 2 babies in 18 months of each other - the youngest is now nearly 1. I'm self employed so in both cases had to go back to work within 3-4 weeks but part time ish and then build up from there.

The first was born in early lockdown and despite having to work with no extra childcare I really enjoyed that time.

When second was born we had childcare in place 5 days a week as both me and OH are self employed so couldn't take paid leave.

After 2nd birth all was great but over time I have felt more and more detached from real life and now I think of it, feel like I've just been in a haze for the past year. I've definitely struggled to find joy in situations and whilst I can easily engage with friends, I definitely don't feel like I am enjoying that time as much as normal.

Also, because I have been working since baby was born, I've realised I have become very detached. Until very recently I genuinely think I would have struggled to identify her in a line up and although I breastfeed I've really struggled to register the cuddles and time I have with her.

I said to my husband the other day that I definitely haven't had a years worth of cuddles which makes me desperately sad. Partly because I'm working but even when I'm there I'm not really 'there'.

2nd baby is also a terrible sleeper so I haven't had a full nights sleep since she was born - which i know is very common and not helping the situation

Also - TMI, sorry - after first baby, periods came back after 6 months and suddenly I felt back to my normal self. This time they came back at 3 months but I don't think the hormonal response came with it and I still feel really flat.

So after all of that, what I'd love to know is, is it NORMAL? Is my GP right and I just need to get outside and exercise more. She said she can prescribe pills but doesn't think I need it.

I don't know whether I should be calling her back and trying to push more or whether this is all normal and I should just take her advice.

Or should I be pushing for pills or something else?

If you have any similar experience I would really appreciate knowing what you've done. Thank you so much

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 22/10/2022 08:16

I think you should take her advice for a few weeks and see how you feel. It sounds like work takes over - maybe just try and slow down a little bit.

Call back in a few weeks if you've made positive changes that haven't helped.

BattenburgDonkey · 22/10/2022 08:21

I agree try her advice. I’m not minimising your feelings, but it doesn’t necessarily sound like post natal depression that needs meds, it sounds like you are incredibly busy and exhausted and that could cause you to feel sad and detached because you don’t have any time with your baby, which are normal feelings in your situation. If you can avoid medication then I’d absolutely try that first, and then go back to the GP if it doesn’t work. Must be so difficult being self employed and not being able to take a break.

Bestcatmum · 22/10/2022 08:24

I dont think you should rush for the pills. I have to take them forever or I start having hallucinations. And hearing voices.
I'd do anything not to have to take them. They make you feel flat and dead all the time as if you are dreaming through life, you put weight on, you can't and don't want a sex life at all.
Having 2 children in a very short time is a massive life change like a death, moving house, being in a war. Its hard to adjust and you are working and not getting any sleep.
I think your GP is right.
Make sure you get some time in the day for you to walk, read, nap, pursue a hobby. Don't let guilt get you. Just do what you can. Don't try and be superwoman.

Bestcatmum · 22/10/2022 08:26

If you do decide to try the pills take a low dose for a short time.

CatHatSat · 22/10/2022 08:36

I’m of the opposite opinion. You know yourself and you know you have reached a point where you need/want help.

Please go back and ask to see a different doctor.

lannistunut · 22/10/2022 08:36

I think you should try to see another GP for a more detailed conversation as well as following all the available self-help advice.

One of the reasons self-help is pushed is that for mild depression it can be extremely effective, but you should still feel supported by your GP as PND is different to general low mood/depression.

CatHatSat · 22/10/2022 08:39

FWIW, I found medication to be a the key to getting better. They cleared the “fog” enough for me to be able to get better.

CottonSock · 22/10/2022 08:39

Try what the GP said and ring back if you don't feel its enough and ask directly for antidepressants. I doubt they would refuse if that's what you want.

ElectedOnThursday · 22/10/2022 08:50

Well I feel for you. Your GP appointment left you feeling dismissed and that is never a nice feeling.

What you have described here is a huge life change in a very short space of time, and huge stresses. You have two babies and you work full time. I don't care what anyone says, no one should have to do this. It is completely at odds with what is natural and healthy for everyone. You & baby need unpressured time together to bond, this is very important, and working FT with young children is always extremely challenging (unless there is a ton of support in place)

Whether or not pills would be helpful for you I think you need a break and, if at all possible, to make some adjustments so that you have fewer pressures. You only get a short time with your children when they are babies, it's really worth it.

Calmdown14 · 22/10/2022 09:38

I think you need to be a bit kinder to yourself.

You seem very focused on what you are not doing instead of the fact you are coping. No it's not perfect. Yes you could have more cuddles but I doubt your baby is even aware. You are meeting all of their needs in a loving way.

With two so close and a business to run it is about surviving. It's okay to admit it's totally relentless and not always picture perfect. Anyone who claims otherwise is lying.

That said time away from the house and work is vital. Is there any way you could take a day or two out? I have very fond memories of a cheap caravan holiday at a similar stage. It pissed down and there was no WiFi or signal. The bad weather was actually great as it removed the pressure that I should do something other than chill out. Not my house to clean so no looking round during the cuddles thinking 'i should do that'. Couple of swims, out for tea where chaos was the norm!

I think your bond with your youngest is much better than you think. You just don't have the luxury of time. Lock down removed a lot of the other normal life pressures and you only had one so of course it was different.

Can you try and build in nothing time to your schedule a bit more? I do agree that fresh air and a change of scene is a huge help when they are little.
Give it a couple of weeks and if none of that helps at all then do go back.

WhatsitWiggle · 22/10/2022 09:51

Mild to moderate depression is generally not medicated, so she was right to suggest lifestyle changes as these very often are enough.

hattie43 · 22/10/2022 09:58

Exercise is always recommended for depression and low mood . It's about breaking the cycle aswell .

Dalaidramailama · 22/10/2022 10:01

Your GP sounds good to be honest. I went to the GP with very similar circs when my two were very little. He gave very similar advice. On reflection I am very, very happy as I didn’t need antidepressants in the end. See how you feel in a few weeks ….

Muffinsong · 22/10/2022 10:03

I tend to agree with your GP, medicine should t be the first go to for mild depression or low mood. Being outdoors and being active had proven positive effects of low mood and is far more beneficial long term than medication. I think it’s more you wanted a quicker easier option than she was offering without putting effort into your recovery which is quite often the case.

35965a · 22/10/2022 10:03

When I had postnatal depression if I had a doctor say that to me it probably would have tipped me over the edge. Genuinely. Antidepressants saved my life at that time. If you aren’t happy I’d find another doctor who will offer you more help. For mild depression of course exercise helps but sometimes you need a bit more to get you going. Best of luck OP, I know how hard it is.

tickticksnooze · 22/10/2022 10:09

It wasn't incorrect advice even if it could have been delivered differently.

You do need to make your own changes too.

girlmom21 · 22/10/2022 10:10

35965a · 22/10/2022 10:03

When I had postnatal depression if I had a doctor say that to me it probably would have tipped me over the edge. Genuinely. Antidepressants saved my life at that time. If you aren’t happy I’d find another doctor who will offer you more help. For mild depression of course exercise helps but sometimes you need a bit more to get you going. Best of luck OP, I know how hard it is.

It sounds like OP's PND is entirely different to yours.

DamnUserName21 · 22/10/2022 10:12

OP, I'd try what the GP suggested before going on medication. By what you're said, you've got a massive load on your plate with two young children and running your own business. Added to which, you must be shattered! Can you reduce your workload (including household) so you have time for self-care?

You can also self-refer to your local NHS IAPT programme. It's therapy. (Google IAPT and your area)

lljkk · 22/10/2022 12:01

My vague understanding is that what the GP is prescribing (outside, exercise) is more or effective than pills for depression in most people. And brings wider benefits (not just in mood). It's worth a try.

Dalaidramailama · 22/10/2022 12:14

@lljkk

Yes you’re right. The book spark for your brain goes into this in huge detail. Most people think it relates to the immediate high you might feel after exercise. This is true but engaging in regular exercise actually changes the structure of your brain over time and balances many neurotransmitters whilst increasing seretonin over the longer term etc. I’m certainly guilty of angrily dismissing exercise but I’ve recently tried a consistent approach to exercise which I’ve never done before and I am having really positive results for my MH. The weight loss is just an added bonus.

Original poster
foxcote90 · 22/10/2022 13:52

Muffinsong · 22/10/2022 10:03

I tend to agree with your GP, medicine should t be the first go to for mild depression or low mood. Being outdoors and being active had proven positive effects of low mood and is far more beneficial long term than medication. I think it’s more you wanted a quicker easier option than she was offering without putting effort into your recovery which is quite often the case.

I know you meant this with kindness but this is a bit assumptive. I spoke to the GP a few weeks ago now. For the past 6 months I have been doing yoga - something I previously loved and really connected with but I don't get the same enjoyment from it that I used to. We have dogs and go for walks. We live in the middle of the countryside so we're outside often.

I'm not trying to find a shortcut - I just feel like there's got to be something between 'just go outside' and pills in terms of support.

OP posts:
Dalaidramailama · 22/10/2022 14:07

@foxcote90

There is, usually in the form of counselling. Paying privately is the best and quickest option just make sure you find someone accredited, too many counselling cowboys around these days.

There are many tools you can add to your kit. I am sure your GP will prescribe if you’re persistent but overall his approach is the right one initially.

CatHatSat · 22/10/2022 15:47

Postnatal depression is usually taken far more seriously. I don’t know what’s going on here.

Getting to that point in depression where you’re feeling detached is quite a significant one, IMO, and it’s at that point that I found medication helped find a way back out again.

At a minimum you should be referred for talking therapies and, depending on the age of your baby, for postnatal mental health support too.

Please don’t be put off by dismissive responses on here or from your GP. Arrange to see a different GP or speak to your health visitor.

When you start feeling better again you will be so glad of it.

bananaorange00 · 22/10/2022 16:10

My GP was the opposite and I felt all they suggested was antidepressants and I was so against going on them that I kept fighting it and getting worse and more anxious and more depressed. When I finally gave in and went on a low dose of sertraline it changed my life. Literally changed everything. They don't make me feel like a zombie, quite the opposite. I feel so much more engaged and I enjoy my children so much more x

girlmom21 · 22/10/2022 16:14

OP if your baby's almost 1 self-refer for therapy now. They class you as perinatal until 1 and will prioritise and fast track you. My GP told me it was a 6 month wait. The mental health service contacted me the same day as I self referred. Probably about 4 hours later. This was the week before DD turned 1.

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