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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To hardly go out in the evenings?

22 replies

Celebrityskint · 20/10/2022 23:53

I’m early 40s, married, with a 6 year old son.

have just realised; aside from on holidays, I barely ever go out in the evenings

this year I’ve been to a few gigs, shows and a few meals; but other than that: hardly out in the evening.

I still socialize: but mostly during the day.

aibu to hardly go out in the evening.?

OP posts:

Keyansier · 21/10/2022 00:06

If we all say yes, you are, will you go out more in the evenings?

XenoBitch · 21/10/2022 00:07

Are you happy with not going out in the evening? If so, there is no need to worry or change things.

MarmiteCoriander · 21/10/2022 00:11

Well, you have been out FAR more in last year in the evenings than myself OP!!!

I'm 44, married, no kids and actually cannot even recall the last time I went out for an evening meal in a restaurant/gig/show??? YANBU at all. If you don't need or want to go out in the evenings, then why would you?

PickAnyName · 21/10/2022 00:33

So now it's getting darker and colder earlier, and you could choose to stay in or go out and get wet, cold and miserable? And your question is...?

Facecream · 21/10/2022 00:35

I’m 47 with a severely disabled DD. Also married.
I treasure every opportunity to go out in the evening- which has been about 4 times this year, and I was sick for one of those.

PistachioGreenn · 21/10/2022 00:36

Why does it matter? Seriously … you’re at the age where you shouldn’t give a shit about what other people do and be content doing things that make you happy.

TheSausageKingofChicago · 21/10/2022 01:18

Do you wish you went out in the evening? I can’t be arsed. Well, sometimes on a weekend if I know I can lie in till lunchtime, but it’s rare. I have a lovely home. Evening is when I get to enjoy it.

mackthepony · 21/10/2022 01:20

Same here op. I cba going out of an evening

Mate mentioned a girls night out.. I'm only really interested in lunch time as I have to be in bed by 9 😂

MovinOnUp · 21/10/2022 01:54

I've just realised I haven't been out in the evening this entire year!
I've just sat and worked out that the last time I went out in the evening was end of May 2021.
So, I would say yanbu, Or if you are, So am I.

Judy67 · 21/10/2022 02:03

I don't know really, I'm not sure if you think you are missing out or trying to talk yourself into thinking you aren't missing much. I think it does matter if you are asking the question. It is very easy to get into the habit of staying in every evening, dark nights, cold weather and being skint all make that more likely. But I did that for years when my DC were younger and when I started going out in the evening (groups, gym or dates), wow it felt great! I felt younger and life felt more fun. But if you are happy with the status quo then that's fine too.

Oliverfunyuns · 21/10/2022 02:26

It's not unreasonable if you're happy or don't miss going out in the evening. If you feel you're missing out on something, it's easy enough to arrange an evening out.

Sometimes it can be exciting to change things up a bit, but tbh, I'm usually happier and more contented when I just stay in. There's no right or wrong answer.

Original poster

Celebrityskint · 21/10/2022 18:10

I just worry that I’ve got a bit sad and old not going out often!

OP posts:

Keyansier · 21/10/2022 23:29

Celebrityskint · 21/10/2022 18:10

I just worry that I’ve got a bit sad and old not going out often!

But do you want to go out more often? If the answer is no, then what does it matter?

Fantastic username btw. Would Courtney give a shit over such a trivial thing though? No.

Babdoc · 21/10/2022 23:34

It may be sad, but it’s not old. We old people go out a helluva lot!
Since I retired I am out several nights a week, to concerts, theatre, bridge club, table tennis club, restaurants etc. When you’re old, you don’t need to hire a babysitter or worry about getting up for work in the morning.
Just wait, OP. You will get your life back!

Kaliflower · 21/10/2022 23:37

Dh goes out couple times a month. I cannot raise the energy or the motivation! My time is in bed watching tv and texting friends.

Been sleep deprived for a year. Last thing i want to do is 'socialise '

Original poster

Celebrityskint · 21/10/2022 23:41

Babdoc · 21/10/2022 23:34

When I speak to older relatives; it does sound like they are out living their best lives!

OP posts:

Original poster

Celebrityskint · 21/10/2022 23:43

Keyansier · 21/10/2022 23:29

But do you want to go out more often? If the answer is no, then what does it matter?

Fantastic username btw. Would Courtney give a shit over such a trivial thing though? No.

Show quote history

She would say it's too early for that night dress

OP posts:

Keyansier · 22/10/2022 02:36

Celebrityskint · 21/10/2022 23:43

She would say it's too early for that night dress

Show quote history

Well then put on your Best Sunday Dress

BoxOfCats · 22/10/2022 03:25

I don't have kids, but my idea of a lovely evening is cuddling my cats on the sofa and stuffing my face with biscuits

Wtafis · 22/10/2022 04:23

depends If you want to

I did.

I joined the WI,, I’ve been out with them 4 nights this week, pub, book group, out for dinner, cinema. Things DH doesn’t fancy or it’s too expensive for us to both go and get a babysitter

ohforthelife · 22/10/2022 05:40

I'm the same now. Used to go out at the weekend before the pandemic but now I'm all for daytime/early doors socialising instead. Recently got invited to a party with an 8pm start and had a panic 😂

IglesiasPiggl · 22/10/2022 05:56

I prefer to socialise during the day because I get tired by about 9.30pm. That's also why I rarely host evenings at my house, because I want to go to bed just as my guests are warming up! Just find things that work for you - lunch dates, dog walks, brunch meet ups, weekend daytimes. To be honest I don't find it that restrictive, especially as I don't tend to drink much, which is more of an evening thing.

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