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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Husband + decorating = frustration

2 replies

SillySausage25 · 20/10/2022 22:37

AIBU to be frustrated with my husband.
We are busy decorating our old property.
Husband took on the task of getting a joiner to fit new doors. We both agreed to have him but he has turned out to be a right cowboy. Months later and the jobs not finished. My husband has paid him in full and he has not returned since. We had no conversation about this and I only found out because I asked. Apparently the joiner asked for the money and my husband didn't question this. The joiner promised to come last week and didn't turn up. Without discussion, my husband texted him and complained and asked him for £50 in compensation. I was angry at my husband as the joiner was paid over £500!! I told my husband that I didn't think this was enough and his typical reply is that I should have sorted it! I am upset as £500 is a lot of money to us.
This week, my husband is off work as he wanted to decorate the hallway etc. I picked a paint and he messaged me at work to ask what paint I want the bannister. He suggested satinwood and I agreed. I have come home from work to find him painting the bannister, rails etc. I am so disappointed 😞. He has just slapped it on, hasn't taken the old carpet up (we will be replacing) and just glossed up to the runners, it's bubbled and he has used gloss instead of satin. I have tried to tell him without sounding horrible. He said the man got it wrong in the shop.
The thing is, he was in a rush to get it painted but there are still other jobs elsewhere that need addressing and I have been so busy that I just kept saying yes. I wasn't really ready to choose paint etc for the hallway. We can't afford a new carpet for it yet and we need a new door so I just wasn't ready. I dont want to keep going on as I fear I will sound controlling. I know this all sounds a little ridiculous but I am so fedup with him. Its not just this project, its many. He never does a job properly. Its always slapdash, half finished. This sums him up - today he laid the plastic dust sheets down and didn't realise he had half of it in the paint tray!! That went everywhere!!
Tomorrow he is doing the skirting boards and I am dreading it! I am tiptoeing around trying not to hurt his feelings. It's got to the point that I feel I have to take on everything. Any problems with workmen and he just can't be assertive. He is too passive. When I told him today about the gloss he just said that I would have to re-do it and then he walks away to signal the end of the conversation which leaves me feeling frustrated and angry.
Anyone any suggestions about how to approach this?

OP posts:
Quitelikeit · 20/10/2022 22:42

In life we all have strengths and weaknesses.

don’t ask him to take on tasks that you know he isn’t good at

ask him to do the things he is good at

never ever pay a tradesman unless you are completely happy with the work

SillySausage25 · 20/10/2022 22:48

But how do I stop him.?I didn't want him decorating the hallway but, he decided that's what he was doing. I must admit I didn't object at the time but in all honesty I am so up against it at work that I just couldn't deal with it at the time. I am so frustrated that we have lost £500 and the doors still need fixing 😫

OP posts:
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