To just walk out of a job

[tammyrae]

I work in a fast-paced catering environment and I feel like I’ve become a scapegoat for anything that goes wrong. I do have an ADHD diagnosis so I’m aware my concentration is shocking sometimes - and I joke about my own scattiness a lot. That said, I’m starting to feel like the weird kid in a school playground.

Today, I was told to prepare some sauces and then put the customer’s order through the till. I was waiting for the waitress to give me the order as I’d just been dealing with another customer. I did the sauces and then the waitress gave me the order. Ten minutes later, the customer returned unhappy that two items were missing from her order. I didn’t prepare or serve her food, nor did I know she even ordered the two extra items.

I thought I heard her mention something in the queue but as I only heard half the conversation and was dealing with another customer, I didn’t get involved. I assumed she changed her mind. When I casually mentioned this to the head chef/manager, she belittled me in front of a queue of customers and told me to work on my communication skills. She didn’t say anything to the waitress who forgot the order (who she’s also friendly with). They were laughing and joking for the rest of the shift while barking orders at me like I’m a dog. It’s also worth mentioning that on previous occasions where I’ve double checked an order, I’ve been told to “butt out” and stop interrupting.

A few months ago, I accidentally charged someone for an item that had ran out. I called him back in and refunded him but the chefs didn’t speak to me for the rest of the shift. I could hear them talking about me in the kitchen and I went home in tears. Whenever I offer to mop or sweep up, they don’t let me because apparently I take too long and they’re faster. I don’t know how to work faster or more efficiently than I am.

It’s messed with my self-esteem and I’m considering just walking out the next time I’m spoken to like crap. I’m pregnant and currently suffering with sciatica. I also have a 3-year-old and am studying part time. DH says I can’t just walk out of a job. We’re struggling for money as it is and we’ll have no help if I willingly leave a job. The hours are also perfect for us as we don’t have to pay much childcare.

Right now, I don’t care about any of that. I’m sick of being spoken to like a POS and I never want to work in catering again.

I am so sorry you're going through this.

How long until you go on mat leave? Could you put up with it until then? If you do need to stay, I'd seriously consider asking the GP for some counseling to help you cope in the meantime. I'd hate for this to be become a precursor to postnatal depression.

YANBU to want to walk out but it sounds like you need to find something else first. Preferably not in catering.

Can you sit down and work out what you need to earn? Would you being loosing out on maternity pay if you left?

No yanbu but given your circumstances you are probably going to have to stick at it until you find a alternative. Could you get signed off sick with the sciatica for a bit to give yourself a bit of a breather?

I Understand your perspectives and frustrations, but your partner is correct, unless you can start another job straight away you risk your finances.

that said, all the best and positivity.

I’m considering it. Feel like a benefit fraud though. Some days it’s unbearable and I struggle to get out of bed. Other days, I’m absolutely fine and work isn’t an issue.

Does your husband work?

this is not ok and you should look for another job there ads absolutely heaps in waitressing/bar work at the minute

I sympathise entirely and just to add - sciatica isn't just a bit of an annoying pain. It can really take the wind out of someone entirely - with that in mind get ahold of your GP and take the rest you need. Nor you or baby need this kind of stress at the moment. Also some people just aren't cut out for certain jobs no matter how hard we try. I would struggle to juggle so many things at once like in the environment you work in and it does not mean I'm shit at everything.

Thank you. I’ve worked in catering jobs before and felt the same. It’s like nothing I do is good enough. Despite working my arse off and always offering to help out, I make silly mistakes then get labelled thick by colleagues. I tried helping my cousin clean holiday homes in the summer but struggled to get the chalets and caravans done in time. I worked as fast as I could but just couldn’t keep her pace and still missed little spots that she had to go over (she was lovely about it, to be fair). I feel incompetent and useless. It’s really getting me down.

I'd link in with the gp and discuss the impact on your mental health. I'd also consider joining a union as they should be making allowances for your ADHD diagnosis. Can you ask for a meeting with the manager (get someone you trust to sit in or a union rep) and discuss the way you were spoken to and that you are more than happy to take feedback on board but it's not reasonable to give feedback in a way that undermines you in front of customers? I'd also directly state that you've been shot down when checking orders and then criticised for not checking them so ask for clarification on which you should be doing within your job role and then do that. ADHD can make attention to detail and process oriented things difficult and I find making lists helps me because I can check things off as I go instead of missing steps. Is there a version of that type of strategy that would help in your workplace?