Context- been together a couple of years. We live together in rented accommodation with my DD from a previous relationship and our dog.
When we first got together DP assured me he’d treat my DD like his own and to begin with he did. But the last 6-12 months they argue. Sometimes it’s relentless. He’s just as childish as my DD, winds her up, lies about it makes me feel like I have a second child basically. And I can’t stand it.
On top of that he does nothing to help around the house. Stays in bed until gone lunch when he’s off, doesn’t ever get up to let the dog out in the mornings etc. leaves his stuff all over the floor, spends all his time on his Xbox, basically like an over grown teenager. He didn’t and doesn’t help train the dog he so desperately wanted and left that to me although he does walk it when shifts/weather allow (almost daily). He’s been going to all his mates weddings and not telling me until the last minute I’m invited and by that time I can’t attend. Work nights out and staying in hotels etc.
I’m just so sick and tired of feeling like I’m his mother. Basically I cook, clean and do the washing, he goes to work and any time around that is his free time. I have had to give up going to the gym because I never get a chance to go, I don’t see my friends anymore, I don’t get my hair cut etc. because I don’t get the time and I’m just so skint (not that it’s a huge problem but before we moved he agreed to pay a larger percentage of the bills because he earns considerably more than me and I have DD and things like childcare to pay for. But that hasn’t happened it’s all 50/50). I hate to bring anything up because he made a “joke” about me sponging off him when I’ve never asked him for anything!!!
I work full time, obviously look after my DD and sort the dog out. As well as all cooking/housework/washing etc.
Last night I found out he didn’t pay his parents some money owed for two months (his dad leant him money towards his car instead of financing it) , the last few months he’s wasted in excess of £1000 a month on crap, lottery tickets, takeaway etc meanwhile I can’t afford much more than to pay my bills (although I appreciate I’m lucky to be able to do that given the current climate). Then I also discovered the buffer I’d been building up in our bills account to help with any unexpected bills or the higher gas/elec he spent… doesn’t even know what on. I’m fuming and feel so angry and humiliated that he lied to his parents about the money.
I come home today, washing up all in the sink, curtains still l closed and bed unmade. He’d clearly let the dog upstairs and let her on the bed so the nice clean bedding is now covered in mud and hair and I’ve just had enough.
I feel like I’m being taken the right piss out of and really just wish he’d have some consideration for me, help me out, make an effort. I feel exhausted and at the end of my tether and frankly I can’t think of anything worse than spending the next 50+ years of my life like this. I’ve tried over and over to talk to him and tell him how I feel and try to compromise but he doesn’t change and then just lies to me about stuff, it’s so needless.
Am I just being over sensitive and ungrateful or would you feel the same. I feel like I don’t know my ass from my elbow anymore and I’m just so bogged down in it all.