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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be bored out of my tree?

45 replies

Soveryboredboredbored · 20/10/2022 16:16

I'm going insane and really feel my boredom is having a very negative impact on my mental health. It makes me obsess over tiny things which do not matter.

Today- and frequently - I had very little work to do (wfh) and have spent the day wallowing and scrolling. Literally in front of my computer, scrolling my phone. My job is up and down in terms of busy-ness but this is not rare.

People seem to think this period is so busy. I have pre school DC, a house to keep on top of, a well paid professional job. I exercise, read books, have good family relationships close by and a few local friends (most further afield). I have a good relationship with my husband. But I have huge swathes of dead time, don't feel v busy at all (and I don't really like being too busy so am not someone who wants to be on the go all the time) and am just so bloody bored. Maybe I need an engrossing hobby but I've never had one! Anyone else feel like this?! Is there something you are all doing that I'm not doing?! There's 'slow living' and then there's stagnating...

OP posts:
Tiredalwaystired · 08/01/2023 11:08

Just seen no one has replied so far. It’s a new year so might be a good time to sign up for an evening class, volunteer somewhere or join something like a sports team or choir. Best time of year to do it as there will be loads of others in the same boat

ClaudiusTheGod · 08/01/2023 11:26

Read more books. Do a professional qualification. Am intrigued by your job - are you self-employed?

DDivaStar · 08/01/2023 11:30

If you're not finding your job fulfilling maybe use the time to look into other options.

I do get what you mean I've felt a bit unmotivated using my free time over Christmas.

You need to find something to get enthused about.

KnickerlessParsons · 08/01/2023 11:38

Ask work for more work? Or ask them if you could start a qualification that would help get you a promotion. Does work have a mentoring programme? Could you volunteer to mentor people?
Do some charity work or other volunteering.
Spring clean the house.
Now is the time to start getting the garden in order too.

Original poster
Soveryboredboredbored · 10/01/2023 15:23

Ooh I got replies, ha! Thanks.

My job is alarmingly senior, well paid and corporate. I've entered a slightly busier period now so things are quite as bad. I have a strong feeling that everyone in my team is under-occupied (including my boss) and have been for a long time....I think I might be breaking some unspoken code to ask for more work... I am also in line for a promotion which I doubt will make much difference to my workload.

I've signed up to yoga, bought some new books (but I read loads already) and am starting to look at new recipes, create new routines for my DC etc. But I'm still nowhere near busy! What am I missing? Are my housekeeping standards just too low?!

I do really want to get into gardening but I'm at a loss as to where to start... I have no clue but I do have a large garden (mainly just a lawn and some pots now) so there is scope for me to create something there. Any total beginners guides?

OP posts:
Bananalanacake · 10/01/2023 15:33

You can take it down now, we are past January the 6th.

Bananalanacake · 10/01/2023 15:38

Oh sorry, read it again and realise you are not bored of your Christmas tree.
I'm a SAHM, have 2 dc, one of them I collect from Kindergarten at 1.45PM. We have a cleaner who comes in twice a week. I don't really get bored as I have other things to do, shopping, clothes washing, Netflix, tidying toys, cycling and walking. Hope you will get some good suggestions here.

GoldenGorilla · 10/01/2023 15:42

If it helps, life actually gets much busier once they’re in school. All kinds of dress up days, and school events, and go and watch them singing.

The years when they’re just in nursery and the assumption is you’re busy working are easier than when they’re in school and all schools seem to assume there’s a stay at home mum.

So maybe use this slack time to make sure you’ve decluttered, done any jobs that need doing to house and garden, got into really good routines? Life might be about to get much busier!

seaweedhead · 10/01/2023 15:42

If you're interested in gardening maybe clear a space for a vegetable patch or put your name down for an allotment.

JonahAndTheSnail · 10/01/2023 15:43

Gardeners World is good for getting started with gardening. You can probably find old episodes on Youtube or similar. The Dr D G Hessayon are good books to get a grasp of the basics.

neverendinglauaundry · 10/01/2023 15:46

Start an adult ed class that sets homework & do the homework in your working day.
Also read the book bullshit jobs

OriginalUsername2 · 10/01/2023 15:51

Do an online course or work on a side business. Lots to do!

Original poster
Soveryboredboredbored · 10/01/2023 16:02

Yes I have heard the school years can be busier and more logistically difficult... something to look forward to ha!

I guess the issue is that I still need to be 'around' in case some work does come up so I can never fully focus on something else. Some great ideas here, though.

@neverendinglauaundry I don't think I actually have a bullshit job because it's v technical and requires v specific qualifications. But I think there are too many people in this team and they have been bleating on for years about how busy they are when it's just not true (I'm the most recent recruit, replacing someone who was allegedly rushed off her feet!)

OP posts:
Original poster
Soveryboredboredbored · 10/01/2023 16:02

@OriginalUsername2 2 members of my team have side hustles! Says it all, I suppose...

OP posts:
LongerThanADryJanuary23 · 10/01/2023 16:08

Bananalanacake · 10/01/2023 15:33

You can take it down now, we are past January the 6th.

😂

thenewaveragebear1983 · 10/01/2023 16:15

I hear you, although my situation is different as I am job hunting! I left my old job because I was so bored, it was a really busy demanding role but everyday was a whirlwind and the only challenge was getting all the minutiae done, I never got to grow and develop and there was no CPD or learning. I rarely got chance to do the interesting side of my job because I was too busy dealing with entry level shite.

job hunting is weird and my days are loooooong. We have builders in so all day I am confined upstairs. Previously I would have made time to do yoga, or something else enriching. It’s too cold to do gardening even though I have loads to do. I can’t really clean as there is just mess everywhere. I find when I’m not applying for jobs I’m just scrolling through mumsnet endlessly…..

boredom breeds boredom though. When I make the effort to do something I feel so much better.

what industry do you work in that has so many staff just idling? In my old role I barely got time for a wee and a glass of water, never mind time to be bored!

Mischance · 10/01/2023 16:19

You have PS children and can't think of anything to do!

Original poster
Soveryboredboredbored · 10/01/2023 16:23

@Mischance well they're not with me during the working day! Obviously I do things with them when I'm not at work. They are lovely and fascinating but not exactly scintillating conversation even at the best of times!

@thenewaveragebear1983 I work for a v large corporate, won't say more! We have stuff to do and it all gets done on time but I would say I could cover my full time job in 2 or 3 hours per day of work if I wanted to.

OP posts:
Daydre4mer · 10/01/2023 16:25

What are your kids doing while you work? Are they are nursery?

i do have moments of what you describe. I have 3 DD. Aged between 2 and 13. Currently toddler is playing with something up the table, older girls upstairs chilling out for a bit.

tea is cooked, laundry done, house clean and tidy etc. I’m watching a Netflix show about de-cluttering.

i work 18 hrs a week. Also have a volunteer job that takes up 1 evening a week plus the actual work. Which is research online mainly but really fascinating. So I’m rarely bored, but do have these odd v quiet moments inbetween some chaos I guess!!

parietal · 10/01/2023 16:26

Look into TimeBank - timebanking.org/ for volunteering in your community or to help charities.

there are lots of small groups that need someone to help with admin / fundraising which could be done from your desk on quiet days

or look at being a Trustee for a charity or a school governor - all roles that can give you interesting things to think about and a way to contribute to other people, which is generally more satisfying in the long-term than shopping and hobbies.

Daydre4mer · 10/01/2023 16:26

@Soveryboredboredbored does your house need re-decorating??

this is always time consuming and you can stop and start inbetween work !

parietal · 10/01/2023 16:29

this one has better potential volunteering opportunies
www.communities1st.org.uk/volunteer-centre

Original poster
Soveryboredboredbored · 10/01/2023 16:30

Yes at nursery and sometimes grandparents.

Yes my house does need decorating and we are gradually doing that. I'm not really skilled enough to do it myself though.....I do the pintrest side of things!

I think I will look at volunteering/being a governor or something. But I do think it's the working day which is the biggest issue for me. (Fully aware some people would kill for that!)

OP posts:
parietal · 10/01/2023 16:32

I'm thinking of volunteering that you can do online during the working day. Not strictly work, but no worse for the company than if you are reading a book.

you might even be able to ask your company to create a scheme that lets people take a day-per-month (or more) to support community projects?

newcovidisolations · 10/01/2023 16:40

I cant imagine the situation. No cleaning, batch cooking, admin, laundry, ironing, gardening, diy, presents to buy, parties or entertaining to plan, clearing out, fund raising, charity work, choosing schools, planning move or extension, preparing for next stage in kids development whether nursery, clubs, bedrooms, playroom, treasures boxes for kids, baby memory books, printed photos, researching/booking holidays, updating appliances, researching energy improvements, supporting others on forums with anything you have experience in, looking after pets.

Maybe have a few more kids or pets!

Or just make the most of this time as if your kids have obsessive hobbies in a few years you could be a full time chauffeur every evening and weekend especially if into competitive sports or you could be helping them with homework or supporting them with sen or mental health issues.