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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think DS is an above average child!

85 replies

FragrantFiona · 20/10/2022 14:52

He is 12 years and 3 months old and took a GCSE Physics exam at the weekend (printed from internet and sat at dining table in exam conditions). He got 84%.

Even more extraordinarily, he did this completely off his own back. Absolutely no input from me. In fact I tell him off for constantly studying stuff as I feel it’s not healthy that he’s not interested in doing normal kid stuff!

Recently found out he has a WhatsApp group where he gives homework answers to the other kids in his year. Everyone is on there!

He attends a ‘good’ state school. What should I do with him?

OP posts:
Sirzy · 20/10/2022 14:54

Well firstly tell him to stop giving answers to other children!

FourForYouGlenCocoYouGoGlenCoco · 20/10/2022 14:54

Send him off to Oxford! Immediately. No time to waste!

SleepingStandingUp · 20/10/2022 14:55

Punish him by removing his phone. Tell him if you find out its happening again you will be in contact with the school immediately

Regularsizedrudy · 20/10/2022 14:56

Keep him in the attic

ChaosDemon · 20/10/2022 14:56

Get him earning extra money as a tutor. He might be bright but clearly not very entrepreneurial if he's just giving the answers away!

Ohwellwhateverthen · 20/10/2022 14:57

...I was like this, but I had the common sense to charge people for doing their homework for them.

Dacadactyl · 20/10/2022 14:58

I would go to his physics teacher and ask what they think ypu should do about it. If he really is that bright id be expecting somethjng more from the school (not sure what, but id be hoping an educator would know!)

Anniefrenchfry · 20/10/2022 14:59

Surely you knew this already from his school work ie being in top sets , his results, parents night etc?

Keroppi · 20/10/2022 14:59

Science clubs/trips
Code camp
Stem kids trips and toys etc

Get him to charge the other kids for homework answers/become a tutor/set up a studying youtube channel or tiktok🤣
Homework club

Plumbear2 · 20/10/2022 14:59

He is doing nobody any favours by giving his answers away. I carn to believe you think this is ok.

Zeb81 · 20/10/2022 15:01

Tell him to charge!

ChocFrog · 20/10/2022 15:03

Explore with him why he is giving away homework answers. To show off? To avoid bullying? To be popular? Does he understand that this is dishonest, and is preventing his classmates actually learning, and could get him expelled if / when someone tells the school?

As to what to do with him, that’s very tricky. He could clearly achieve great things. Is he at a school that can support him to aspire to 10 x grade 9, and teach at that level? If not, look into private tutoring or perhaps even a school move (if he isn’t super-attached to his friends). Ask the current school if he is on their ‘gifted and talented’ list and what is their plan to support him.

Enquire at local independent schools re. Scholarships/bursaries.

One option is to take some GCSEs early in his free time. I know home ed families who’ve passed GCSE at age ten. GCSE astronomy is a popular one. This could help him get more ucas points and differentiate him from other candidates. Also look into online coding courses, anything that can help him get a head start on a lucrative tech career.

The hardest thing will be preventing boredom and possibly bullying.

Blueeyedgirl21 · 20/10/2022 15:05

How is he socially ? Is he being used by the other kids ? Is he socially awkward and trying to win their friendship? He will always be brainy but you can work on his interpersonal skills so he is clever but also happy. Weirdly on here people don’t seem to care that much as long as their kids are oxbridge level but an unhappy, socially awkward 12 year old becomes an unhappy, socially awkward adult

AHobbit · 20/10/2022 15:05

Not that bright if he isn't charging.
Phone should be confiscated.
You could look into bursaries and scholarships in surrounding independent schools. Certainly no harm in it and sounds like he has a good chance

Wotrewelookinat · 20/10/2022 15:07

It’s really common in the world of home educated children to start GCSEs early and do 2 or 3 at a time. I know many children who have passed GCSEs at age 12, 13, 14. My daughters did and achieved all high grades, also without tutors and all self studying.

HailAdrian · 20/10/2022 15:08

Ask him to please make a model of a cell for my son's science homework.

SpentDandelion · 20/10/2022 15:20

My son was the same, but now HE due to anxiety, intelligence can be a double edged sword, ask the parents of school refusers, and not always the gift you imagine it to be.

KitchiHuritAngeni · 20/10/2022 15:20

He might be book smart, but he clearly isn't street smart if he's just giving answers away.

If that were my child I would devise a price list immediately, and take a 20% cut.

Original poster
FragrantFiona · 20/10/2022 15:29

I obviously don’t condone him giving away homework answers. I did mention charging (in jest) but he said ‘why would I charge for something that I was luckier than other to have’ . He’s extremely kind as well!

i don’t need the sarcasm. I’m simply asking for advice on what I can do to support him. 84% in Physics GCSE at the start of Yr8 is hardly the norm. no?

Good idea about asking about Gifted and Talented stream. His Maths teacher did say he could start doing GCSE work in Yr7 but didn’t mention it again.

He is not socially awkward at all. He’s very well liked and happy at school, although bored which is why I’m getting concerned.

He was the same at Primary but it’s become more apparent now

OP posts:
NicLondon1 · 20/10/2022 15:37

Try to get him into independent schools if you can... he may be better supported and they may have assisted places/scholarships to help pay

midgetastic · 20/10/2022 15:38

Getting bored - yes that is a real concern

Yes talk to the school

Also look into other hobbies / things to get involved with to give breadth - because you can't have too much of that, multidisciplinary skills are very values

edwinbear · 20/10/2022 15:45

Absolute no point looking into independent schools. Labour will be in charge in the next year or two and one of their key pledges is to get rid of them.

Wfhandbored · 20/10/2022 15:47

Omg STEM! See where his main interest lies and then nurture the holy fuck out of it!

MrsDoyle351 · 20/10/2022 15:49

Congratulations on your fantastic son.

Perhaps get this post moved to secondary education if you don’t want sarcastic answers.