To say that gay footballers ARE still role models

[Livetoplay]

I help coach a girls football team for 9-11 year olds. Fab bunch of kids who, unsurprisingly, LOVE the Lionnesses football team and have their individual heroes - Lucy Bronze, Alessia Russo, Leah Williamson etc - who they view as role models.
one day I could be like…

we use these women as examples to the kids of what hard work, practice, good team work etc can achieve -

one of the dads who helps out has somehow only now found out how many of the Lionesses are gay, and had a convo with me about how he thinks they maybe aren’t good role models ‘ given the circumstances’. He seems particularly pissed off that Leah Williamson has a girlfriend. His daughter worships her, and I think he actually had a bit of a crush himself.

have told him to stop being so ridiculous, the kids don’t care, no-one cares. I doubt the kids even think about it and even if they did suss that Lucy Bronze has a female partner, they are not going to give a stuff!

AIBU to say he’s being a twat!? We left it a bit frosty but I won’t put up with this nonsense. He thinks it ‘unprofessional’ for them to date England teammates. But it certainly hasn’t done the team any harm so far…

thisnisnt the first time I’ve had to shut blokes or male coaches down about the sexuality of women players, which they seem to seem as some kind of joke.

Considering a small bit significant enough number of football fans apparently still think that it’s fine to make monkey noises and throw bananas at black footballers, it’s not surprising that some are also bigoted towards gay and lesbian footballers and think they can’t be good role models because they’re not “right.” Of course he’s a twat. A twat who doesn’t like the idea that women can be successful and fit, and not want a male partner in their life to be part of it.

I know, it's only her sexuality that could possibly be holding her back

Can you ban him?

Another angle is, why should any football player's partner have anything to do with whether the player is 'worthy' of being a role model?

The coach sounds like a homophobic knob and is probably threatened by the thought of women who don't choose to centre men in their lives.

He must be gutted - poor thing.

Honestly, this man-child needs to grow up.

The fact that these women are gay, accepted, and successful makes them hugely important role models - point out to him that this is important becase:

1. any queer kids looking on will feels stronger for seeing this - this could be the only positive reaction the are experiencing in their life towards the LGBTQ+ community and could be a lifeline for them.
2. Any straight kids looking on will become open minded and supportive of their queer peers and <look him straight in the eye> I'm sure he agrees that being supportive, kind and not prejudiced is something we should all want as a value our kids have.
3. The straight world is represented positively every single day, all day long - on tv, in ads, on billboards, in the street, in lessons, in books. Positive, queer representation, especially when it's just as an everyday normal thing is not that common - it's really REALLY important that we see queer representation like this alongside "aren't the gays fun and colourful and look at all their rainbow lives!!" narratives. (although, as a gay, I celebrate that too, I mean, it is fun, tbh...!)

‘Can you ban him?’
I’d rather educate him, plus his kid is lovely and wouldn’t be fair on her. He helps out, carrying equipment around, setting up for matches etc he doesn’t have direct impact on or coach the children themselves .

He did say his girl has a ‘crush’ on this player - my reply of ‘we all do, she’s amazing!
probably didn’t help.
but I said so what? And if his daughter was a son and he was the same towards Harry Kane for example, would he use the term ‘crush’ or would it have been ‘hero worship’ instead?

Because that’s what it is - seeing someone who appears to be hardworking, relatable, a skilful player, a brilliant leader, excelling in their sport, probably doesn’t hurt that she’s good looking, and thinking they’re great.

I should have added that this discussion happened over a pint or two in the pub so he was probably being more open and candid than he would have been…

What make him think you’re in charge of appointing role models? I’ll be cheering from the rafters when a high profile male footballer comes out, and it won’t be just be me. Be good to see though!

@meanderingthrough good point, but we have taken the girls to see England games and some WSL games and all the coaches do use them as examples in training sometimes.
like EVERY kid is practicing a Russo style back heel endlessly!

Poor girl, can't be easy growing up with a father like that.

Of course they’re not, they’re just there som men can oggle at their bums in shorts obviously.

In reality, they’re far better role models than the male rapist excuses for footballers.

Why are any of them role models?

Of course they are still role models.

Who someone sleeps with has absolutely nothing to do with their sporting achievements. Honestly, some people are still in the dark ages.

Lol has he ever thought about the fact that the men's teams aren't the ones giving birth and needing more than a year out of training while pregnant/may leave?

Maybe he hats why none of them have been pregnant? (As you said one does have a child).

What is he on about? Are the lionesses role models because of what they've achieved and how good they are at football, or because of who they sleep with??

Eh? Does he think male football players are good role models? What with all the drinking, rape allegations, speeding and chavvy lifestyles?

If he wants a female role model of a professional international football player who has biological kids but wasn’t a teen mum, I’m not sure how that would even work unless a time machine is involved.

Definitely.

Anyone remember when Will Young won Pop Ifol instead of the cuter one? Nothing out about his sexuality. Then it came out he was gay. People went berserk. I remember a lady writing in saying it was wrong he'd hidden it as her daughter wouldn't have voted for him if she'd known because she fancied him.

You're in the right op. If he mentions it again ask him if he has any criticism of her actual footballing rather than her live life.

Good God, this man sees girls as incubators doesn't he! Pre-teen girls with expectations assigned to them already. Homophobia AND sexism. What a grotty little man.

Absolutely this. Male footballers are rarely good role models, so many are misogynistic entitled wankers. But I guess that’s fine… 🙄

He's talking nonsense, what a twot. Who cares if they are gay. But even I was surprised how many were gay. Mind you as a sport there is a high number of gay players in all the womens international teams : USA and Germany included.

But, when I talked to Dh he said that two of our friends whose daughters trialled for England, both said that the sometimes the atmosphere was more gay than straight, that they were pressurised too be gay, and were made to feel uncomfortable about having a boyfriend and being straight. Which sounded unpleasant if at all true.

Gosh, how ridiculous and horrible of him, I really hope for his little girls sake she isn't gay only because having a homophobic father like that will be so hard for her. Whether she is or isn't, having a football club which is championing these marvellous women as role models will hopefully mitigate a little from the dreadful message she's getting at home.

The dark ages are calling, they want this dad back!

Do people really not have celebrity crushes on people because they aren't of the same sexual orientation? That seems nuts, I can fancy a man even if he's Gay, or a woman even if she isn't, because they are strangers I have very little chance of even meeting let alone forming some kind of relationship with.

I find it truly baffling that people think they have a chance somehow. That must be some serious self delusion tantamount to insanity.

Homophobic AND reducing these women to being 'just' about their sexuality. It's about motivation, sportswomanship, dedication and commitment as well as talent.

It's HIS problem if he can't separate a woman's private life from her career. Hope his daughter sees thtough his bs

Yeah, but if you're homophobic then a gay footballer is not (or should not be) a role model because their actions (being gay) prevent them from being something to aspire to however many other virtues they have.

I really do wish people would STOP with role models. The whole concept is nonsense, literally a fantasy.