To think my mum is the best mum in the world?

[shotoftequila]

A nice thread about mums for a change.

It was always just me and my mum in the house growing up. It was a small house, but really, really cosy. We had two cats, two dogs and a hamster. I remember always telling her she was 'lazy' however, now I'm an adult with my own kids, I think she was sensible and put her own self care above housework etc.

Don't get me wrong, the house was always clean but it was quite cluttered and messy at times. She was a social worker, and I know she was stressed in her job a lot but she really made our home our sanctuary. She spent much of her time off, spending time with me, trips out, girls nights, long walks, playing games etc as well as reading books (hundreds of books in the house growing up) and watching tele cuddling with the animals.

We had so much fun, no matter how stressed she was she was always fun, she knew how to switch off and we had some laughs. I always looked forward to coming home after school or knowing I was off school for the holidays, it was like our own little bubble.

My friends were over at the house a lot, she never had a problem with this or made it seem like an annoyance. My dad drove her up the wall, I know that, yet she still gave him lifts when she could and did him favours and always allowed him to come over Christmas morning to do presents.

When I left home for uni, the last thing she said when dropping me off was that I could always come home, no matter how old I was, no matter what happens, that the house will always be my home and I am welcome there at any time.

She was so open with me growing up about periods, sex, body hair, body image, contraception. I remember her saying to me, 'never tell a man how many people you have slept with, not even your husband because it's none of their business'. This served me well. I could speak openly with her about sex, nothing was off limits and she never judged me. She pushed me when I needed pushed though and was strict when it came to my education.

She guided me through so many horrible break ups and I returned home a few times, it was always my safe haven. My mum is truly my best friend, we have been through some shit, and I know her life has been far from perfect but she honestly has been the perfect mum.

AIBU to think my mum is better than your mum? lighthearted of course.

Right back atcha @shotoftequila

We are / were so very lucky.

This is the mum I am currently trying to be, it's really not easy is it. She sounds fantastic OP ❤️.

Your mum sounds perfect. Mine would take the piss out of me to my Girls Brigade "friends". Search my room obsessively, check my school bag daily and listen in on phone calls.

I have no idea why, I had no real friends, was as quiet as a mouse, did as I was told, homework always in early, no boyfriend and I read rather than go out.

We're not in contact now, my choice as she was such a controlling bitch in my teens. Her loss.

My Mum is also the best Mum in the world.
Worked hard creating her own business, giving me a strong independent boss woman role model.
She was strict to ensure we grew up well mannered and not spoilt yet still had time for fun, I vividly remember our favourite silly game of jumping on the bed!

She gave me everything I need to succeed in life and I can honestly say as adult we are friends and talk pretty much every day on the phone.

Aw your mam sounds like a treasure. Mams don't have to be perfect to be lovely.
I remember mine telling me when I was a teenager that if I was in a bad situation that I should get myself a taxi and come straight home no matter what it cost. That's always served me well

My mum is also lovely and I'm so very grateful that I still have her .
She worked so hard , commuting to London every day, coming home and cooking lovely dinners from scratch including the best meat pie , no ready made pastry back then. We used to go camping most weekends and had so much fun.
She used to see me get upset when I struggled with maths homework and used to tell me to put my books away as it wasn't worth getting in a state about (my dad went to maths lessons at night school, so he could help me, bless him)
She has always showered me and my sister with love and helped me massively when I became a single parent.
She's quite frail now and agoraphobic, I absolutely adore her.

I want to be the mum yours was.. you were so lucky. She sounds absolutely wonderful.

Nice thread.

My mum is amazing . I love her to death. I am actually fearful now of how soon I will lose her, because the thought of her not in my life fills me with dread. I like telling her everything, the thought that she won't be there for me to tell her these bits and I won't have anyone else to tell, makes me very very sad already.

I phone her once a week. I tell her everything.

I didn't always appreciate her. She was always there in the background but I never appreciated her till I was older . I was always a daddies girl. and she was the one who sorted out my diabetes and did everything for me and I probably resented her quite a lot as a child. She did my injections. my first sentence was "no more pricks mummy please no more pricks". that must've hurt her incredibly. my dad I adored and craved attention, my mum who looked after me. Weighed my potatoes and calculated my carbohydrates. I never really appreciated that in her. after university and had a great time travelling, never till I had my own children that I really probably truly appreciate her.

She is incredibly loving. she's so supportive. she is emotionally intuitive and so caring and loving and supportive and bright and emotionally intelligent. I don't know any of my other friends who have a mum who is anything like her. She is amazing.

And the good thing is that I have actually told her this. again and again and recently. We haven't been on holiday together for more than 20 years but I took her to Tallinn for a long weekend recently, we had the most loveliest time together, I'm glad that I did this because she's in her late 70s and she could die any minute and I thought of this fills me with dread.

I will make sure that I tell her again soon how much I love her, adore her and value her, in case she's in any doubt, but I don't think she is.

My only sadness is for the many mn'ers that I see, they haven't had what me and my mum have.

I'm not grateful for this. I deserve this. and she does too because we are the people that we are and we made this happen.

My mum is an evil,narcissistic witch who has tried (and failed) to destroy me from the day I was born

my grandad bought me up,and made me who I am today-he was just like your mum,we didn’t have much to call our own,but we had love and such a deep bond

if he’d lived longer than me being 14,we would have had those chats at the kitchen table and I wouldn’t have spent my 20’s/30’s the way I did-he always had my back-he was an amazing role model and I’ll spend the rest of my life missing him so much-I always say we had such a bond,that even death can’t part us

i carry him in my heart every single day

my mil-is the woman I want to be

she married my fil (and was married for 50 years,until we lost him last year) and he was an amazing man with his own issues which he dealt with by drinking,smoking and working too hard,but we adored him

she lost her dd to battens disease back in 2000 (on my birthday)

she nursed them both until they died-she’s an angel on earth

she is an amazing mum-she knows just when to keep her nose out and when to step in

she allows us to live our lives but is always there in the background if we ever need her-all we have to do is pick up the phone

she never judges,is always calm,never takes sides (even though I know deep down she thinks the sun shines out of dp’s arse and he’s never wrong-she doesn’t show it),always has our backs,has welcomed me into her family (I cried in the toilet when I heard her call me ‘family’) and is an amazing mother and granny

she is the mother I should have had,and the granny I hope,one day,to be-she’s my role model in life

we adore her so much-and she can’t see just how amazing she is-she’s so modest and she shouldn’t be

im proud to call her my mil

Your post describes what I try every single day to provide for my DD, small cost home, pets that we love, play with her all the time, we joke & have fun & if my DD feels how you feel when she grows up, I will be so happy! I tell her all the time, even at 6yo, this is her home for ever & even when she leaves, it’s always her home to come back to.

my childhood wasn’t great, alcoholic DM, I do t remember ever going to the park or feeling loved. She had an amazing sense of humour but I don’t feel like you do about your mum. Maybe that’s why I strive to be the opposite with my DD!

lovely post💕

My mil was also amazing. She died a few years ago. She welcomed me into her family and was totally loving. My Dh adored her. So did all her children. She had 6, having many miscarriages, she was told she'd never conceive. The family she created was lovely. All her children are lovely. She was kind and caring. I knew why all her children adored her. I'm thankful that she welcomed me into her family.

This is a wonderful, uplifting post. My mum is and was wonderful too, as was/is my gran. She was on her own with me and taught me good manners, humility and the importance of being hardworking, and that you get nothing for nothing.

My mum is 90 with a huge heart. I am the youngest and adopted, as is my eldest sister and my middle sister is birth child but we are all treated equally. My DM lost 2 dc within a couple of days of birth long before you were encouraged or allowed to hold them and create memories. She never speaks of them and continues to grieve them.

My DM loves a baby and has rocked and sang many to sleep over the years. She still has the ability to tell me off and still buys my favourite biscuits when I see her every week

I cannot imagine my life without her but am realistic and grateful that I have had her so long

My mum could’ve been like this and in many ways was/is.

But unfortunately her yearning for a romantic relationship and bad taste in men hindered it and was the ruin in her. When she wasn’t on relationship turmoil she was incredible. But when things went sour in love her mental health couldn’t take it.

me and DP have a baby girl of our own but if should ever split I have vowed to myself my baby won’t ever have to become entangled in any kind of blended family due to this.

your mum sounds awesome.

What a lovely thread OP, and how wonderful to have such an amazing mum.

My mum is wonderful too. Very loving and caring. Never put me under any pressure ever to be anything, but always celebrated my achievements.

She is now very old at 94 and isn't really living. BUT she was the most amazing and caring mother.

I only hope I can be anywhere near as good for my beautiful sons

My dad had an affair and left my mum with 3 young children. She never showed any hatred to him and he picked us up every week and she invited him in to wait for us, she even invited his new partner in when she tagged along. Now I'm an adult I understand how hard that must of been for her, but it did what she wanted it to do, we grew up with very little effect of the divorce comfortable with both parents. My mum is amazing got soo many reasons but that just shows me how strong she is and that she put our childhood before her own feelings.

she sounds fab. I’d like to think I’m a bit like this for my kids but I haven’t had a mum like this.

Lovely thread.

I had a very different and often difficult relationship with my Mum, your Mum does sound like a better Mum than mine.

But my Mum was also an ace woman, so many admirable qualities and I wouldn't be the person I am today without her enormous positive influence.

It takes all sorts, we can all be great in our own way.

Thanks for this OP. I am also a single mum to a daughter and feel enormous guilt over this - no dad in the home and no siblings.

You've made me see it doesn't have to be a disaster. I hope she thinks similar to you when she's grown 😊

How lovely OP. My mum was pure evil which I won't go into but I am trying my best to make up for all I went through and it's ways nice to hear about good mums your Kim sounds lovely.
I am really hoping I can have a good relationship with my dd. She's only 9 and I've tried so hard to make sure I am listening and helping where I can and so far so good but I am scared of what the teenage years might bring!

Life can be hard. I am the youngest of 13. My mam died when i was 15. I met my husband at 17 and his Mam,was a truly a mother to me. I miss her every day of the 20 years she has gone a truly wonderful lady

Wonderful thread, it's lovely hearing about people's brilliant mums (and I'm sorry for those who didn't have that huge blessing).
My mum was the best - totally loving and supportive, with a wicked sense of humour. She died in 2009, I wish I had faith that I will see her in heaven.

She does sound very cool, OP. Strong too :)

Mine died when I was little. Sad for me.

So delightfully uplifting to hear about all the wonderful Mums. My dearly beloved Mum was the most wonderful of all. I was so proud of her as a child when she collected me from school with a great big smile and her bright red coat. Always kind (but firm) and great fun, we shared much laughter. My Dad died suddenly and without warning when she was only 47. My sibling and I thought we needed to be there for her but she was so brave, encouraging us to go off and see life, never holding us back. She developed MS and suffered for her last 22 years but even then was utterly selfless, graceful and had such generosity of spirit. If I can be half the woman she was, I will be blessed. She's been gone 15 years now and I love her still; always in my heart

That's lovely, OP. I'm also a single mum to a son and daughter (toddlers), and hope to continue a great relationship with them.

My own mum is 92 and is amazing and so kind. She is the lynch-pin of the family. My siblings and I would all be lost without her. We LOVE spending time with her, and have so much fun. I hope to emulate even a fraction of that relationship with my kids.