School holiday anxiety creeping in

[hagridsbeard33]

Half term is approaching again and I'm feeling that particular sense of anxiety. I have a ds11 and a 8 month old dd so life is hectic and it's so hard finding activities to suit both. I always feel like I'm letting both down - I.e can't do certain things with ds or I'm dragging dd along, putting her routine out of sync and making her cranky etc.

Over the summer holidays it was awful. Every day felt like a battle. And I think since covid people seem so obsessed with going out and 'making memories' that the endless photos on social media of people going on amazing days out also made me feel shit.

Does anyone else feel this pressure?

To be fair you've got it bad with that age gap.

Can you send older dc to a friends one day, and reciprocate? Or throw a few quid at it if possible and drop them at an attraction with a friend? Let them have someone for a sleepover?

The 6 weeks are terrible cos it's six fucking weeks, a week will be grand, you'll be grand, you can do it love xx

I don't go on SM so never worried about this 'making memories' stuff.

Would it help you to plan more? Not as in schedule, but to have lists of activities thought out that DS11 will enjoy but that are OK for 8 month old?

Plan to go outside every day even if to the park to kick a ball.
Maybe 1 full day outing.
Time at home.
Let 11yo go to park on his own, assuming y6 he needs to be practicing independence skills.

No I don’t feel this pressure to be honest. We just do what we feel like doing. Have you asked your DS 11 what he wants to do? I don’t think at that age he needs an activity organised for him everyday or for you to do them all with him. He’s old enough surely to meet up with friends at the park or for you to drop him off at the cinema with a friend. You’re putting a lot of pressure on yourself, that’s on you to be honest. Loosen up.

I haven't let him out much on his own yet to be honest but I know I need to.

I have a couple of activities booked, clubs and classes where he can crack on and baby and I can sit in the cafe. We tried a few of these over summer though and they were a bit lame in some cases.

We do have a lot of time at home and that's mainly centred about screens, PlayStations and tv for ds. Which doesn't make me feel great. But if I can get him out at least once a day whether it be a walk to the park or a trip somewhere then I feel better.

You are totally right, I put this pressure on myself. Nobody else would know or care if we stayed indoors withering away on iPads all half term. But I really do feel the pressure now there's two of them to look after. I feel conscious of letting ds down and tend to over compensate.

If you need to practice freedom for him this half term is a perfect time before the clocks change.
Think about where he needs to be by September next year & where he is now.
What steps do you need to get through? Make a start.

Let him play out with friends, invite a friend over.

Do some Halloween stuff, pumpkin carving, baking, decorating a window etc.

Can you play on the PlayStation with him? Get the baby to bed and then have a gaming session with snacks, I bet he'd love that. Similarly let him choose a film to watch together.

Geocaching could be fun for the 11 year old and that will get you all out and about. Look forward to things rather than dreading them!

You know what the best memories for an 11 year old boy are? His mum letting him chill out on his PlayStation for October half term.

Just relax and stop mithering about the bullshit other people post on Fake-book.

No activity is going to be attractive to an 11 year old and a baby. Just pick activities for your son that you can manage w the baby in tow. But you won't need many just for 1 week.

Here are my suggestions for activities you could do this half term with both that won't break the bank.
Swimming - bring a friend for ds
Pumpkin picking with little one in a pushchair.
Museum
Library and a cafe for a hot chocolate / babychino
Walk in the woods /beach / Park etc.

Pumpkin picking and carving would be great for both. Ds carving dd sensory play with the insides.

Halloween crafts to decorate the house. Dd hand painting and ds making bats and ghosts out of loo roll tubes etc.

If you celebrate Halloween in any way, I would get DS involved in things like decorating the house, baking witch/ghost cookies, going pumpkin picking and decorating them. DD can keep to her usual routine! Maybe go to the garden centre to see all their decorations, with a stop for a drink and cake.
Have a film night when DD is asleep.
Maybe 10 pin bowling, with DD watching in her buggy.

Swimming? That's a good activity for two different ages

Cinema-choose a film around 8 month old's nap time so they fall asleep?
Woods/national trust place for a play and put LO in push chair-take bike or scooter for DS
Shopping centre-pur LO in push chair, let DS choose a toy, get a sweet treat
Museum
Can you ask someone to look after LO for an afternoon whilst you spend some 1:1 time with your DS?
Take DS to choose a DVD and some sweets and have a movie afternoon whilst LO naps?
Baking
Pumpkin picking

Thank you, some fab ideas here. We are going to go pumpkin picking at the weekend when dh is off work and then during the week me and the dc can decorate. I will get some baking bits in too.

Unfortunately I have nobody to have dd and dh works all day so I do have the both of them all day everyday.

The weather looks crap too. Typical.

I’m going for this this half term too. I have a 10 and 5 yo and we’re both working most of the week. We’ll juggle stuff so they’ll still get out every day to the library, swimming etc but I’ve told myself they had a busy summer, straight back into school, and they’re both doing well - a week of a lot of telly and gaming isn’t going to ruin them. And yes, they’ll probably look back on it as a great lazy week that they enjoyed 🤞🏻