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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To sit open mouthed at my MIL when she took it upon herself to offer my DD calpol without consulting me first!!!!

53 replies

lucyellensmum · 27/01/2008 17:12

I honestly could not believe it, we do not visit frequently so there is certainly not an understanding between us that she should take her medication upon herself.

DD has a cold, it sort of came on yesterday afternoon. MIL said to DD, "its ok, i'll get you some CALPOL that will be nice" . Not, "oh LEM i have some calpol if you want her to have it" It was pretty bloody obvious she would have dosed it anyway, but DP knew what was good for him and asked me if it was OK. I said no, and felt bad because i thought i was being petty but she didnt have a temperature, and i thought that i might give her some medised at bed time to stop the runny nose (and help her sleep ) We did as it goes. So whilst i didnt have any problem with calpol per se it was just my MIL assumption that she could just give it to her. Then THEN she put vaseline under DDs nose, which i HATE, never mind the fact that it came from their bathroom and was not newly opened so god knows what they had been using that for .

I love my MIL but i am so glad she lives over an hour away!!

OP posts:

Original poster

lucyellensmum · 27/01/2008 18:19

i have to say, the vaseline did the trick, its just that i really REALLY hated it as a child (i had a constantly snotty nose though), so does anyone have an alternative?

OP posts:

indiechick · 27/01/2008 20:18

Just leave it alone, it goes. Never put anything on my dd's lip and it's not been a problem.
As for the calpol think, MIL totally out of order, should have checked with you first.

TotalChaos · 27/01/2008 20:21

IME pharmacist/practice nurse has always recommended vaseline for dry mouth. Would have been more sensible for MIL to have asked you instead of DD, but it was in front of you and DP, so I don't get the problem - as you turned round and said no, so problem solved.

Divastrop · 27/01/2008 20:22

oh right.the only time ive ever seen vaseline used around the nose area is on tv shows or films to do with execution/dead bodies.

ive always found wiping the snot away before the skin has a chance to get sore is preferable.and i use blistex on chapped lips.vaseline smells vile,i cant stand it either

theyoungvisiter · 27/01/2008 20:24

think yabu (MIL should have checked from a medical point of view, but if she said it in front of your DP then it was not unreasonable to assume that he would tell her if you'd already dosed your DD - it's not like she sneaked it into her cocoa!)

And what to use instead of vaseline - I use lip balm (molton brown mmmmmmm) all over my nose and lip when I have a cold - I don't like the slippery feeling of vaseline much. Vaseline's definitely better than nothing though!

ItsNeverTooEarlyForPopcorn · 27/01/2008 20:25

Diva -I think you mean vicks

theyoungvisiter · 27/01/2008 20:25

divastrop - I find it's the constant wiping that makes my nose flakey - not the snot sitting on the skin. Must depend on your skin type.

HarrietTheSpy · 27/01/2008 20:26

NOt hte crime of the century...but would have bothered me if DC was a couple of months or less. But probably wouldn't bother me at all with no 2...

Is it really that she's just gebnerally a bit irritating anyway?!

shelleylou · 27/01/2008 20:28

my ex's mum was interfering and it got to me aswell, she took it upon herself to do wteva she wanted wit ds when she wanted it. Last time i checked i was his mother and decided wat he does and doesnt have.

MotherFunk · 27/01/2008 20:31

Message withdrawn

Ledodgy · 27/01/2008 20:35

Over reaction on both counts imo. She mentioned the Calpol infront of you so no worries about her overdosing if you'd already given some to her earlier as you would have been able to say. The vaseline under her nose was a caring thing to do as was having the Calpol in.

mumeeee · 27/01/2008 21:11

You are over reacting. Your MIL was only trying to help.

PanicPants · 27/01/2008 21:14

The only problem I would have with that, is you MIL didn't know if your dd had already had something with paracetamol in it before hand - she should have checked first.

tori32 · 27/01/2008 21:30

Complete over reaction! YABU.
Your MIL was just trying to help ease the syptoms. Vaseline is the best thing for dried out lips. Calpol is good for a headache etc from a cold.
Re-evaluate!

alwaysnamechangeforaibu · 27/01/2008 21:31

actually i don't think it's that unreasonable. perhaps a bit of an over reaction at the event itself but i don't think it's unreasonable to expect to be asked first, esp. with medication, and even the vaseline. your dd not hers.

barbarianoftheuniverse · 27/01/2008 21:36

To put it in perspective when I left dcs (aged 6 & 10) with grandparents they were taught to chop sticks into kindling and then left with axe to continue the job alone. Only safety instructions that I could drag out of them were 'Don't tell mummy' & 'don't throw it (the axe) about indoors.'

ingles2 · 27/01/2008 21:42

YABVU.
PMSL at wondering what she'd used the vaseline for...

pointydog · 27/01/2008 21:49

You have serious vaseline issues. Vaseline should not provoke feelings of horror.

Nighbynight · 27/01/2008 22:18

YANBU about the Calpol. I wouldnt have given it in teh circs you describe either, and would go mad if someone gave it to my children without checking with me first. It only gets brought out here, if a child cant sleep at night through fever.

Original poster

lucyellensmum · 27/01/2008 22:45

RIGHT You are right, i was being unreasonable, but i really don't see how i over reacted when my only reaction was to post on here i didnt say anything to MIL, i just declined the calpol for the reasons i explained. But yes i know i was being unreasonable, but as i said in my other thread, surely you dont have to be angry to post here, or do you??

Should there be an "i was slightly miffed by this" section?

OP posts:

jasper · 27/01/2008 23:38

You have made me smile - vaseline gives me the willies - especially when applied not just to the lips but to the skin between upper lip and nose - YEUCH!!

eidsvold · 28/01/2008 02:33

over reaacting - mil just trying to help.

diva - that is vicks they put in their noses to overcome dead body smell isn't it??

themildmanneredjanitor · 28/01/2008 09:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wannaBe · 28/01/2008 09:43

I can remember going to my nan's as a child and being given cough mixture if I had a cough. Actifed or something it was called - vile horrible stuff. But I don't ever remember my nan asking my mum's permission to give it to me - I had a cough, nan had medicine so gave it to me.

I think as parents we just find it hard to allow someone else to do that caring bit sometimes because it's supposed to be our job and someone else taking over makes us feel inadequate in some way perhaps?

Original poster

lucyellensmum · 28/01/2008 10:06

i'm going to do it, i am, wish me luck, im going to put vaseline under DDs nose today - oh, i feel faint, but its for my baby!

But get this, at least my MIL was rational about where she put it - i have just spoken to my mother and mentioned DDs cold and she told me to put vaseline on the bridge of her nose because that will make her breathe more easily - um, is there any wonder i am weird

OP posts:

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