Siblings at birthday parties

[LouBan]

My DD's birthday party last year was quite a relaxed event. We just hired a hall and a bouncy castle and took along some other toys and just let the kids do pretty much what they wanted. Most spent the whole party on the bouncy castle! Food was the same. It was all laid out for parents and kids to help themselves when they wanted. Quite a few parents asked if they could bring their child's older siblings and since it was so relaxed I agreed. This year, because my DD is older and more aware that it's her birthday, we have hired a small soft play and because of its size, the only children there will be party guests. Numbers are limited and we have to pay per child. Am I being unreasonable to say no to anyone who asks if their older children can come too? In my opinion a birthday party is a time for my DD to celebrate with her friends, not a bunch of other children she doesn't know. I also don't see why I should be paying for these other children's meals, party bags etc. Also, I would love some advice on how to tell parents their older children are not invited as I have heard parents can get quite nasty about this

I usually just very clearly put on the invite siblings welcome or sorry due to restricted numbers we cannot accommodate siblings

Nope, not at all unreasonable. This is one thing that grates my cheese so bloody much. If I wanted brother or sisters to come I would invite them on the invitation! Invitations are for named guests only.

Oh and don't get me started on the thing of all the kids trying to nick the birthday child's balloons (maybe this is just the children here!)

Just put in invites, sorry cannot accommodate siblings. And that's it. No need for anything else. You arr bound to get a cheeky fucker who will try it though.

If anyone asks I would say that the soft play will only let in a number of children but you'll let them know if someone can't come and a space opens up. Then don't let them know 😂

Definitely fine to put it on invite! Only village hall type parties are more of a free for all around here. You just have to accept that the numbers coming might be lower as the parent will have other siblings with them so can only come if they bring them too.
Unless it's a drop and run!

YANBU to say sorry, numbers are limited/ we can't accommodate siblings.

However, if the party isn't a drop and run, and you expect parents to chaperone their children at your event, YABU.

Normally soft play is public so they can just pay and play. Private hire is more awkward.

Wow, 100% YANBU not sure I've ever seen that before! Just put it on the invite that sadly no siblings due to limited numbers and make sure you give the soft play a list of guests and make it clear to them you won't pay for anyone else, I did this after having 7 siblings turn up to ky daughter's first soft play party, very expensive lesson learned! Hope she has a great birthday 🎉

Will it be private booking? If public session then just state siblings can come but parent will have to pay.

Simply put 'apologies no siblings due to limited numbers'. Then no one will ask (unless they are extremely rude).

As others have said just prepare for numbers to be lower as I’m guessing you’ll require parents to stay (most soft play parties I’ve been to do) and therefore they may not be able to come as there’s nobody to look after siblings.

@Woahtherehoney actually I have 4 kids and I'd usually just pay for the others to go so the sibling could attend the party but I appreciate there will be others can't do that

Of course YANBU.
Just put on the invitations - we are not able to accommodate siblings.

I mean, you shouldn't have to - it should be obvious that an invitation is for the invited person and not anyone else who fancies joining them - but sadly there do seem to be a lot of very oddly entitled people about so just put it on the invitation.

Re any person who got nasty about it, I wouldn't worry in the slightest about falling out with anyone that rude and entitled. It would be no loss, would it?

And have someone 'on the door'. You might not feel it's appropriate to actually force the sibling away, but you can give the parent a frosty reception. If people are going to be cheeky and show disrespect for your polite request, there's no need to feel guilty about embarrassing them.

This was never a thing when mine were little in a state school , we would invite kids and no one ever asked if a sibling could go and i never did if one of mine was invited to a party , just the one went
My friends kids went to a private school and always the parents their showed up with all siblings and sometimes mum and dad, like it was a family day out

Just put it on the invitation. "Sorry, we can't include siblings this time due to limited numbers at the venue". And if anyone's cheeky enough to try and foist their other kids on you on the day, you just say "really sorry but the venue has a limit on numbers and we've not got the space or paid for food for additional kids. I did put this information on the invitation, maybe you missed it. What a shame etc etc". You can be polite but still stand your ground.

This

Leaving siblings at a “pay per child” birthday party is well acknowledged, top flight CFery!

One thing if they pay for them to come in, give them some food that they pay for separately etc as it’s a public place. Another if they expect them to be included in any way included on the party, or even ask tbh.

I would also put on the invitation “as this is a pay per child event, we will not be able to accommodate siblings”.

You’ll still get one or two people aghast at this info, or asking etc, but you have to be firm. Also, some people pay their child in, but then try to push them towards the party table when it’s time to eat, or give them huge helpings of whatever smaller provisions you’ve made for adults who stay around, which is also CFery.

I had this exact same situation before. In the invitation I just said owing to limited spaces we couldn’t accommodate siblings this time.

It was zero issue.

Same. Last year, siblings. This year, no.

I think asking the host puts the host in a very uncomfortable position. Either find child care or don't go.

We’ve had situations where siblings have been brought along and not joined in the actual activity, but sat themselves down at the table for food, meaning there wasn’t enough to go round! Whilst parents were completely oblivious, chatting away to other parents! Very apologetic when we pointed it out, but still! YANBU OP!