Not to want to give cash as a gift to a parent?

[AboutTheYoungIdea]

My parent has requested cash as a birthday gift but it feels wrong to me for a variety of reasons - they are relatively well-off and it seems a bit grabby from their side and impersonal from mine.

I am always pleased if I am given cash but giving it to a parent just doesn’t sit right with me. AIBU?

Don’t be silly

YANBU. What do they want the cash for?

YANBU

My MIL is like this, she will literally exchange £10 notes with family members. Makes no sense to me

@TempName01 my DH’s family is the same - the same £10 note has been floating from
house to house for a couple of years now!

Yeah thats properly weird. But as above - exchanging money between people all the time seems silly and pointless. I'd ignore and give a sentimental gift if you think they'd like it. If they're well off why are they demanding money. Bizarre.

Is there something they plan to buy with the cash?

I guess they just doesn't want presents but knows (?) you won't be happy with that so asked for cash as an alternative.
I can totally understand why they don't want presents but it does seems a bit odd for someone wealthy to request cash of their child.
Do you usually exchange presents of approximately equal value?

Feels very odd to me! The only adult I might give money too would be a young adult child who is short of money, as specific tastes, and who I want to be quite generous too.

Could you ask them if the money is to go towards something in particular? I wouldn't mind so much if I knew they wanted to put smaller amounts of money towards a larger treat that would be too much as a present for one person. Is this just a weird passive aggressive way of telling you that they don't appreciate your present choices? What would happen if you told them you'd rather treat them to something nice for themselves...?

I agree . It feels more like a financial transaction than a birthday gift . Having said that there's no point giving a gift they won't like so I'd ask what is on their list

Ask yourself why your parent has requested cash this year.

Maybe there is nothing they actually need or want. They might be worried about the COL. Are they saving up for something? Perhaps they always get gifts that are of no use to them and want to put a stop to it.

I would find it very strange if my mum and dad asked for cash. If they did I wonder wonder what's going on as it's very unlike them to do that.
Could there be an underlying reason?

They mentioned a few things they’d like to buy with it but if I didn’t give the money they’d just buy them themselves so it’s a bit pointless. It does feel like whatever I usually give isn’t good enough (or if I bought the things they are wanting to buy they wouldn’t be right) which is hurtful as I always make an effort to choose something thoughtful.

I do get the not wanting more ‘stuff’ and have asked for money or a voucher myself (if asked of course) so I can choose something I’ll actually use but somehow it feels weird giving cash to a parent even if that’s also how they feel.

I normally give cash to my in-laws because often they want to put it towards something expensive or go on a shopping trip.

I always give cash to my DPs they save it towards holidays

YABU and hypocritical

I'd never accept a cash gift, or ask for one, from my kids. Why would I? I'm more of the 'buy me something small or edible or for the garden' school of thought.
Have your parents always been like this?
If it's a personality change and they are older, I'd keep an eye out for other odd behaviour

Maybe they know that you are going to get them a gift and they really don't need more stuff (like most of us). Instead of getting a scented candle/photo frame/thing they are asking for money. They may use that money for something they can afford to buy but it is expensive and they would avoid but when they have some money towards it they can justify it as a treat

so you're a hypocrite then op, because you've done the exact same thing they're doing but somehow it's less acceptable for them to do it

Idk, I think YABU. They expressed their wish, you don't need to relate to it personally (even though you say you actually do when it comes to you, so how is that the problem? 🤔). The only question here is whether you are able to fulfill the wish and if you are, then just do it and let it be, I guess?

This.

This is normal parent behaviour OP. Asking for cash is grabby and odd. Don't do it.

I’m glad most people feel the same, I can’t express why I find it odd and appreciate it appears hypocritical but it just doesn’t sit right with me.

I really hate gift giving/receiving sometimes. I never seem to please anyone and very few people know me well enough to choose something I’d like without lots of pointers. I’d rather not bother 🙄