Aibu to be upset by this or bit ridiculous

[Joewasmyfave]

I'm a bit wobbly right now emotionally various reasons work, stress etc but need detached opinions on whether I'm silly being upset by this.
In a nutshell mums WhatsApp group for school year there's 44 people in the group. Whenever it's anyones bday people post in the group (not everyone but usually around 15 happy birthday wishes to the person).
When it was my big bday for me this year (40th booo) I got no bday wishes on the group. Ever since its hurt to see other people's bdays and not big ones get celebrated there.
I'm friendly to everyone and always acknowledge others bdays.
I know in the grand scheme of things this is daft but it's genuinely hurt me.

44 people is a lot of birthdays to keep track of! I’m sorry you got forgotten but I’m sure it wasn’t deliberate.

I would have no idea when any of my kids friends parents birthdays were

Sorry but this does sound ridiculous (and I’m usually the first person to say birthdays should be celebrated!)

Yes to this.

Like how do you even know when these peoples bdays are? How have you all shared that many dates?!

Did they know it was your birthday?

Ah, don’t be sad. You know rationally that it’s highly unlikely to be anything other than an oversight. Is your birthday known to many people? Some make such a song and dance about it all that it’s impossible to not know whereas some just crack on and are more likely to get overlooked.

Its one of the evils of SM that we measure our popularity in this way.

I hope you had a happy day with your actual friends and family and many happy returns. 40s are ace btw!

You know often it is only one person that remembers and then the rest follow and say happy birthday and it looks like everyone remembered!! So technically all it means is that one person didn’t remember xx

HAPPY BIRTHDAY anyway even though it’s passed 😊

Are you sure they knew it was your birthday?

Surely you all can’t remember the birthdays of 44 school mums??

Did you mention your birthday?

I feel like usually in these situations the group knows some birthdays because the person mentions it ‘can’t wait to go out for dinner on my birthday/ looking forward to a kid free night away for my birthday’ but then others never mention it and it obviously goes unnoticed.

I’m friendly with some nursery mums and we go out for drinks/dinner/coffee in the park regularly but I wouldn’t know their birthdays.

It is both hurtful and ridiculous. I mean, it’s a school parents WhatsApp group, but it’s upsetting to feel like you’re being excluded, it’s hard not to take it personally, especially when you’ve got other things upsetting you. If you weren’t feeling wobbly already you probably wouldn’t care.

Thanks all yes would have known.i think we all know by each others Facebooks or one person will say happy birthday in the group and that starts others then.
(again I know logically this is not something someone at 40 should give 2 shits about but it has made me feel unliked in the group)

These people are not your friends. I'd just stay in the group, make sure you read anything useful and ignore any chit chat about anything else. Certainly, everyone else's birthday can get to fuck.

Don't worry about it.

My brother never remembers mine, I always get a text the day after.
Mums on a WhatsApp group - nothing to worry about.

Despite your follow up post they probably just don't know. I'm sure if one person did many others would join in.

TBH a 44 person whatsapp group sounds unbearable!

This personally wouldn't bother me.

I hate whatsapp and i came off it years ago and it was the best thing i did for my mental health. I will never go back on it again.

X

Do your actual friends say "happy birthday"? Focus on that.

If you're bothered about this sort of thing you need to post something birthday related on the day so that everyone knows. People only get best wishes posted on Facebook because the person has their date of birth set up so they get notified, or because the person has posted something that prompts it. Nobody remembers more than their nearest and dearests birthdays.

If you post "can't believe I'm 40 today, being really spoilt by my family" or something similar --- and still no one says anything, then you can feel ignored.

So this relies on someone noticing your birthday as Facebook friend and adding a comment to the wattsapp group. Out of 44 people there must be many missed. Don't give it any more head space.

I'd be shocked if you look back on the year there were 43 birthdays and yours was the only one missed. If you need to for your own piece of mind check it. I'd imagine most birthday wishes are either of a good friend of someone wishing them happy b-day first or lucky timing that someone saw it on FB and had nothing to do and popped something in the group.

I'd say this is your brain piling on on top of the stress etc, if you're looking for objective advice it's a non-event don't worry. If you can't shake the feeling check everyone's birthdays and find irrefutable evidence that it's not just you. I find when I'm low my brain does whatever it can to deceive me into believing I'm worse off than I am. That I'm lazy, have no friends, not smart etc.
if you were in a good place you wouldn't even notice they hadn't said anything.

Thank you all appreciate it

Happy 40th!!!

I love all my friends but if Facebook doesn't tell me it's their birthday I don't remember I'm so sorry. There's still time yet for someone to message after work and everyone else will follow suit?

Personally I’d not be looking to a school what’s app for that and I’d certainly not be deciding if I was popular based on it or not,

is there a back story, do you have real life friends?