Covid fatigued and I was woken up by DH at 540am! AIBU

[TortugaRumCakeQueen]

Just getting over Covid. I'm still quite fatigued. I am self employed and WFH, and I wasn't able to take even 1 day off when I was ill, so it's been hard.

I get up at 630am most days for work. 2 days a week I can stretch a lie in to 7am. This is 365 days a year, unless I am on holiday. I had 4 days off between Christmas and September.

DH woke me this morning at 540am, to tell me I was snoring. I de-camped to the spare room, but obviously I didn't then get back in to any deep sleep and I was up for the day at 630am.

DH is off today, is still asleep, and can lie in until whatever time he chooses.

I feel miffed, if I'm honest. It just feels so selfish. Would love views. AIBU to be hacked off?

Surely he should just have gone into the spare room himself?

Im usually in the “snorer has to do something about it” camp, but in the circumstances he was very unreasonable. Not hard for him to have just walked into the other room, it would have taken no more effort than waking you.

I would go wake him up and insist he gets up.

I think the 4 days off between Christmas and September is as likely to be the cause of your fatigue as the covid. You're going to drive yourself into an early grave.

Take a week off and recuperate. In the spare room. Your dick of a husband can bring you soup and toast as needed.

You were snoring....so a change of position should solve that?

What time does your DH get up when it's not a day off? Does he work shifts?

The issue is your lack of days off and lack of sleep.

Why aren't you getting time off?

You are really not working efficiently if you're working such long days and only getting four days off a year!

For the sake of your health, both short and long term, you really need to look at why you're putting in so many hours.

... and I say that as someone who ran my own business for over 15 years, so I do understand the pressures.

I'd be staying in the spare room permanently

So why are you letting him sleep? Go and wake him up.

I'm also self-employed and have only had one or two days off this year. It's really not healthy so trying to do something about it but I do understand. That won't be helping your fatigue.

When dh is ill or snoring. I take myself off. Wouldn’t dream of waking him up because I’m awake

He was definitely wrong to wake you up and should have gone in to the spare room.
However, the issue is your life sounds exhausting and unsustainable. If your life wasn't so relentless then one early morning wake up would be no big deal.

If I were him I'd have moved to the spare room. YANBU to be furious with him.

I snore when I am ill. DH knows this and will only wake me when it’s really bad. I did get really annoyed after getting over covid, like you I was still, cooking, dog walking etc and looking after 3 adult men all with covid. Yes I snored, as I was ill and exhausted, told DH I’ve put up with his snoring for decades, so please don’t wake me as I cannot get back to sleep. No spare beds here, but he’s welcome to sleep on sofa. Hope you feel better soon, take care.

Your DH should have moved because you are the one who is poorly, so YANBU about that. However, as one self employed person to another - please take more time off. YABU to only take a few days off each year.

If the work you do doesn't allow any time off without that leading to you not having enough money or your business not functioning, then something is wrong. If your business is doing really well and you're so busy you can't take time off, could you employ someone to help you?

I hope you feel better soon!

Living with a snorer, I have some sympathy with your other half. That said, given you were ill, he should have let it slide.

Absolutely nothing worse than getting woke up early when you're knackered. Hope you feel better soon.

DH has snored like a walrus since we first got together and I have been known to wake him up by touching him on his back (gently!). Quite often however I decamped elsewhere. I started to snore in the last five years or so and he took to waking me up by hissing loudly in my ear "WAKE UP" - I was bloody incandescent, given how grumpy he used to get about a gentle push.

Anyway I got a bit distracted there, I meant to say, he now has a heart condition and his sleep is very broken - I now never ever wake him up if he is snoring, and will instead go to the spare room myself. Snoring is annoying but if someone is ill, you don't wake them up I think.

Snorer should move. YABU.

Didn’t you post this a couple of weeks ago?

either way, if you’re the snorer, get it looked into. If it’s sleep apnea for example, there are excellent treatments.

no, he wasn’t being unreasonable.

YANBU. Why couldn't he just go into the spare room. He's unkind.

why are you working so much, but he is not?

Dors he even appreciate the hours you're putting in?

I used to have my own business, (long story, but Ex has it now). You need to look at what you're doing, it's all too easy to work all the hours but not really get anywhere more than if you work 5 days pw. There's a difference between 'being busy' & 'being effective'

Yeah he should have gone into the spare room
But you need to take the day off

If it were the other way around and I knew my partner didn't get a lot of sleep I would have gone to the spare room myself rather than wake him, and I know he'd have done the same for me.