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AIBU?

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Original poster

I am hungry?

19 replies

Throwawayfortoday · 18/10/2022 22:57

Let me preface this with an acknowledgment that this a throwaway namechange as it suggests, and I would characterise my relationship as normally normal (ish).

Ok. I slipped and fell over on some new shoes on Friday. By Sunday, it was clear from the swelling, bruising and inability to walk that I needed to go to A&E.

I havé fractured a bone, am on crutches and functionally immobile for a couple of weeks.

DH is being hopeless, though.

Today - after asking if possible, please, I got 2 slices of toast and marmite for breakfast. He came back from work at 9pm (late start) and had already eaten his lunch and dinner, so was surprised, if accommodating, at my polite request if he could make some food?

That’s weird, right? I was so freaking hungry but am not particularly appeased by a few tablespoons of rice and a chicken drumstick. He gave me a 2 litre bottle by of water before he left but seems genuinely taken aback at me still being ravenous.

I normally do all the cooking so I feel weird about asking for more? Maybe I’ll just stick to takeaways for the next 3 days and hobble to the door 🤷🏼‍♀️

OP posts:
Tiswa · 18/10/2022 22:59

It sounds thoughtless and mean

FairyLightAddict · 18/10/2022 22:59

He sounds selfish. Takeaways and microwave meals?

Wishing you a speedy recovery.

EmmaH2022 · 18/10/2022 22:59

That’s batshit
ask him where his brain is

wish you a speedy recovery Flowers

UmbrellaSparrow · 18/10/2022 23:02

In the nicest possible way .. you've fractured a bone. Plenty of rest of course but you haven't suddenly become disabled. If you're hungry, make something to eat.

Cw112 · 18/10/2022 23:02

Does he have a small appetite in comparison to you so he's serving what he would eat in a day? I would just have a word and say that because of your fracture you need him to take over the cooking and agree a meal plan together that covers each meal of the day so he knows what to make and when to make it. You could do an online food shop so he just needs to prepare the food and maybe make things that cover a few days like a shepherd's pie etc ? Is he a capable cook if you normally do all the cooking?

FatAgainItsLettuceTime · 18/10/2022 23:06

It would be nice if DH were a bit more capable of thinking about your needs and anticipating what help you may require. You might have to be a bit more specific with what your requirements are though. It also sounds like he's out of the house for long days so you need to find ways to either get around yourself or see if other people can stop in part way through the day to help out.

If you have crutches can you hobble to the kitchen?

A few years ago I had to have eye surgery which required me to do something called 'posturing', basically had to stay in a face down position for 72 hrs with my nose parallel to the floor. I was allowed to be upright for a maximum of 10 mins in every waking hour.

I had a sun bed with a face hole in it, an underbed storage tub slid under the bed with snacks, magazines, drinks, an extension cord, chargers, iPad for watching telly etc.

Is there any way for you to use a wheely office chair for moving around the rooms. Have a backpack that you can load up with snacks and drinks so you can reduce the number of times you need to move into the kitchen.

RonnieMcdonnie · 18/10/2022 23:09

He sounds a bit thoughtless but surely you can hobble to the kitchen to get yourself something to eat?

Lockheart · 18/10/2022 23:11

You're on crutches, you're not immobilised. Ask your H to put things like butter, marmite, bread etc in reach near the toaster so you can make toast during the day, for example. Or ask him to buy freezer food or ready meals you can cook easily for dinner when he's working til 9pm.

When I was on crutches it was carrying things around that was the pain. I ate more than one meal with a kitchen chair dragged up to the sideboard because I couldn't carry the plate to the table without spilling, but it's doable if a bit ridiculous.

PickAChew · 18/10/2022 23:17

You need some sarnies in the fridge. I assume you didn't go over 12 hours without a trip to the loo.

Original poster
Throwawayfortoday · 18/10/2022 23:18

FatAgainItsLettuceTime · 18/10/2022 23:06

It would be nice if DH were a bit more capable of thinking about your needs and anticipating what help you may require. You might have to be a bit more specific with what your requirements are though. It also sounds like he's out of the house for long days so you need to find ways to either get around yourself or see if other people can stop in part way through the day to help out.

If you have crutches can you hobble to the kitchen?

A few years ago I had to have eye surgery which required me to do something called 'posturing', basically had to stay in a face down position for 72 hrs with my nose parallel to the floor. I was allowed to be upright for a maximum of 10 mins in every waking hour.

I had a sun bed with a face hole in it, an underbed storage tub slid under the bed with snacks, magazines, drinks, an extension cord, chargers, iPad for watching telly etc.

Is there any way for you to use a wheely office chair for moving around the rooms. Have a backpack that you can load up with snacks and drinks so you can reduce the number of times you need to move into the kitchen.

Wheely chair is a genius idea! I hadn’t thought of that.

I can’t walk and am unstable on the crutches, so that makes much more sense.

i hate having to ask anyway so it’s probably a touch of that - he’s not used to catering to any of my needs.

Independence (and a full tummy) is again on the horizon ☺️

OP posts:
EmmaH2022 · 18/10/2022 23:21

UmbrellaSparrow · 18/10/2022 23:02

In the nicest possible way .. you've fractured a bone. Plenty of rest of course but you haven't suddenly become disabled. If you're hungry, make something to eat.

Have you done this on crutches. It's quite hard.

I live alone so it was done, not claiming it's impossible. But if you live with someone who is suddenly on crutches, you certainly sort enough food for them while they get used to it.

as soon as my neighbours heard what happened, they offered help and left food. It's very basic.

EmmaH2022 · 18/10/2022 23:22

cross post

you say "he’s not used to catering to any of my needs."

have you not been ill before? Does he never cook? This is all a bit strange.

grayhairdontcare · 18/10/2022 23:23

Some nice ready meals and Deliveroo perhaps.
At least until your husband gets his act together

UmbrellaSparrow · 18/10/2022 23:25

I have actually been in the same position. I managed. I didnt sit for hours starving because I had some crutches.

So OP, I'm presuming you're peeing into a bottle & you'd have to get the takeaway driver to come in & deliver your food to you sat down? Come on.. of course it's nice to be looked after when recovering or unwell but you really are not incapable of doing small, basic tasks.

UmbrellaSparrow · 18/10/2022 23:29

Just to add... In typical MN fashion, if this was the other way around & the man had fractured a bone & had crutches. The woman had been out working until late hours of an evening but then came home & was expected to start making a full meal for the husband, I can guarantee everyone would be slamming the man for being lazy, "can't even make a sandwich" etc... Just leaving that there 😊

Anyway, speedy recovery OP. Thank goodness it isn't something much more serious.

Original poster
Throwawayfortoday · 18/10/2022 23:32

UmbrellaSparrow · 18/10/2022 23:25

I have actually been in the same position. I managed. I didnt sit for hours starving because I had some crutches.

So OP, I'm presuming you're peeing into a bottle & you'd have to get the takeaway driver to come in & deliver your food to you sat down? Come on.. of course it's nice to be looked after when recovering or unwell but you really are not incapable of doing small, basic tasks.

Honestly I’m still in lots of pain and it’s a 5 min stressful hobble to the loo, so I am still feeling overly sorry for myself as it’s quite fresh.

But , yes, will get used to the crutches, wheelie chair and microwave will now be utilised.

Good push to remember not to be unnecessarily needy!

OP posts:
EmmaH2022 · 18/10/2022 23:35

i am very much the minority on MN today

These husband thingamajigs....what's the point of them?

Lockheart · 18/10/2022 23:38

One tip which you might find useful is to use the kitchen sideboard as a sort of crutch-cum-conveyor belt - for example my bowls, spoons and milk are on one side of the kitchen but the cereal is in the opposite kitchen corner. So I'd get the cereal out onto the side and then sort of shunt it step by step around the kitchen side to the fridge / bowl corner. You can use the kitchen counter to lean on and you only have to lift the box over the sink.

It's not elegant or quick, but it works.

PeloFondo · 18/10/2022 23:47

If it helps I used to stand but put the bad leg knee on a chair as more support
Obviously depends on which part is broken!
Use a crossbody bag to carry stuff and stash snacks/drinks by your chair/bed

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