Constantly fear redundancy

[pixipixi]

How to get over this? I was made redundant a few years ago in my mid 20s. It was my first job and a shock I didn't see coming after being there three years.

My self esteem took a dive and I ended up working a job for a year that fckd up my mental health, because I thought I would never find a job again if I didn't stick at it. At times I actually wanted to die to escape.

Now, I start work everyday (no word of a lie) thinking it will happen again. I've gone above and beyond out of insecurity (working late, working weekends) over the years, as I feel there will be any excuse to dismiss me. I live month to month and save most of my money because I'm worried I'll have no job, which means I perhaps don't enjoy life as I possibly should.

I'm worried I'll get made redundant and not be able to get a job, or get a job that's awful again. Does anyone else have this insecurity and how do you manage it?

Use it as a reason to keep your skills sharp and always be thinking of the next step on the career ladder

I sat down and worked out what the consequences of being made redundant again might be. I ended up making much more of an effort to save money every month, so I have a decent amount in savings accounts now to tide me over for 3 months. Also I made a big effort to keep my skills up to date. I work in IT, so I also keep an eye on the skills that are currently in demand. Also I keep my CV up to date.

I’d seek some therapy. Also being older and having seen SO many redunancies it’s not about who works the hardest/ longest. It’s much more business like - who will cost the least.

Agree with the saving thing. Manage your money wisely. I've been there too, it's horrible thinking every time your boss has a meeting with HR it's about you. But it can be a self-fulfilling prophecy so try not to think about it.

I'm sorry you feel so low.
I echo pp that therapy might be helpful. Redundancy is horrible but it isn't usually personal, even though it can feel like it. There are lots of reasons for redundancy, and it's often not to do with performance. Yes it may happen again but equally it might not, either way you just have to do the best you can and try and move on.
If being proactive and keeping your skills up to date and saving puts your mind at rest then do so.
But please try stop worrying, you were just unlucky and it happens to a lot of people during their working life. Try and not let it dent your self esteem.
Good luck in your new job