To think that my cat should earn his keep...

[Mabelface]

And do something about the enormous bluebottle that's flying around by him instead of looking at me as if to say "get that, human, it's irritating. "?

I see you your bluebottle and raise you the immense rat I saw in the garden a couple of weeks ago. Mind you, I haven't seen him running around again, but I also haven't seen him laid out on the kitchen floor. C'mon, jump to it furry twats!

Cats are simply narcissists with fur.

I see no kitteh.

YABVU. Catch it yourself and leave him to sleep.

Both of mine would be "mm sky raisins" and trying to get it first.
You need more cats.

Disappointed that I can’t see a picture of Cat God

I'm almost as disappointed with OP as her cat is. 😑

Mine couldn't catch a cold. He waved his paw vaguely at a spider once and lost interest. If he ever brought me a mouse I would be booking a vet appointment and I'm only half joking
All hail the mighty hunter

An excellent fellow.

No picture?!

Definitely your problem, no self respecting cat will deal with anything UNLESS there's a picture of said cat provided...

He looks like batting that stick is completely below his dignity and he's only doing it as a favour to you seeing as you enjoy it so much.

Mine caught a rat recently so we have had to spent a lot of time worshipping at her altar for that act of mercy.

Ours was on fire yesterday! A dead mice was left on the back door step for our delectation. Half an hour later, a dead shrew! All those hours of training with squishy ball paid off!

He’s a pet cat isn’t he? If you want a ruthless kill machine get one off the feral cat project

Mine is working on the Ukrainian defence, so is doing a good job!

He's saving himself for something better. You'll just have to sort it out yourself. Oh, and while you're up, he'd like a treat.

At very least you should have caught the fly yourself so that The Great One could enjoy a crunchy snack without having to expend any effort 😉

I think OP swallowed the fly.

^ a thousand times this. Are you sure you’re a cat owner if your feline hasn’t made your duties abundantly clear already?

Mine do. We got them from the rescue aged 7 weeks old as we had a rat problem (rural property; neighbours with chickens). They have done excellently and we've had no bother from the rats or the mice since, and the house spiders and flies are well down in numbers; they bring in a few mice/rats per day so don't eat much cat food. You know the unexpected downfall?

Woodlice. Yes, that's right. Woodlice and earwigs are everywhere. There are no spiders to eat them, so we're overrun.

Sorry! Tax paid.

...

How very dare you! 🤣

YABU now please go back to serving your cat like the little lord he is whiny human. 🤣

That cat had better watch out, then. Doesn’t the cat follow the fly, a spider and a few other things down?