AIBU to wonder what you would keep your child home with

[Waytoofar]

Totally prepared to be told I am being completely unreasonable but my question is what Illnesses would you keep your child home from nursery or school. I’m talking things like common cold, flu, chest infection etc.
A child in my DD’s nursery has been going in with a chest infection and my AIBU is to wonder if he should really be at home. 3 other children in the class have since been off with a chest infection one who has asthma. The child doesn’t have siblings and his mother is a SAHM so isn’t relying on nursery to go to work. 🤷🏻‍♀️

My DC goes in to nursery with anything as long as she is generally happy and doesn’t have a temperature, or of course the things nursery asks us to keep her home for (d&v, chicken pox). I use nursery for childcare so I can work so she has to go in unless she’s really unwell.

She will go in with coughs and colds etc

I’m about to pack in my job because DS is constantly too unwell to go in. He’s currently got hand foot and mouth and actually they say he can go in if he feels well (he’s ‘ok’ but not really ‘well’) as per NHS advice but he’s got blisters everywhere and isn’t sleeping, so he’s not in. Last week it was constant upset stomach that I had to get a stool sample showing no infection before they have him back. He had conjunctivitis and technically could go but he’s a baby and he’s crying with gummy eyes so really how could I send him in.

He has been in with a cold/cough. My life is currently a quagmire of guilt and stress about him being ill and having to send him in so I can go to work.

I’ll have to work evenings or something because I’ve had enough of it. He’s done just 3 full weeks there (and he does 4 days) since he started in June.

The school guidelines are that they have to stay home if they have a fever of 100 F (without any fever reducer) or have vomited or had diarrhea in the prior 48 hours. So that's what we go with.

Do you actually mean a chest infection or a chesty cough.
So many people describe a chesty cough as a chest infection - a child with a chest infection would simply be too unwell to attend school they'd have a raging temp, be really very poorly, falling asleep, not eating. School would send them home within an hour of them arriving.
Lots of children have a chesty cough for weeks following a virus. They are otherwise fine in themselves, and fine to be in school, even with what sounds like a filthy cough.

D&V, I don't keep them home with a cold unless they've been up all night, I'm quite strict with mine but only because my parents let me have time off school for pretty much anything and I took advantage so I don't want my kids doing the same.

Keep them at home with -
Fever
D&V
if they have a bad cold and just want to be held or relax in peace/not eating

Send them in with -
Snotty nose and minor cough
Minor cold but full of life and happy and eating

Agree with @KweenieBeanz if he’s attending nursery he’s very unlikely to have a chest infection. Coughs and colds are fine as long as they feel well. I’d keep mine home with d&v, chicken pox or other similarly contagious viruses or if they were physically too unwell to attend.

I would send in with coughs and colds that don't affect them too much, so if they're still able to sleep, eat and go about their daily activities in reasonable spirits. If they were very miserable or not able to do the above then I would keep off, probably. Nurseries and schools should call parents anyway if child is too unwell or deteriorates during the day. I would assume that a child in nursery with an active chest infection is probably coming to the end of the infection and is well enough to be there.

Why is flu always on these lists? No one goes anywhere with the flu - real flu means you can't get out of bed.

I'd keep them at home with high temp, tearfulness, d&v and anything the NHS said was contagious and should remain at home for.

Oh also I keep at home with a temperature. And with D&V bugs I keep home until 48hr after last symptom.

At nursery everyone knows they have one week where they're fine nx one week where they've got something and rinse and repeat. If you keep them off for everything, they'd never be there.
Rule of thumb- if they're not suffering with D&V and feel OK, in they go.
You sound very judgemental about the parent working and having only one child btw.

Sorry SAHM

So far I've kept DD off nursery with a sickness bug, chicken pox, covid and general cold/ill with a high temp. She has been into nursery with a mild cough/cold and conjunctivitis. The last one is controversial I think but nursery policy and NHS recommendation is they can be in if they aren't unwell so we did. Full on chest infection I agree the little one should be at home. Recently she was under the weather but no temp etc so I couldn't really justify being off to keep her home so I compromised by flexing my hours so I could pick her up at lunchtime for a few days so she could have a quiet afternoon.

My kids have been in with chest infections before once they've had a day or two of antibiotics and they're feeling better. Ds had so many he would never have been in!

Generally keep them off if d/v, seem unwell in themselves or can't sleep.

I work on a case by case basis. Some colds I'll send her in, other times she has a cold with a horrid ear ache, or the cold has knocked her for six and she won't be able to concentrate at school so I keep her home.

D&V obviously she's at home.

It's more about how they are in themselves than any label of illness. D&V is the only definite stay at home illness.

I'd rather my DC caught viruses as children. I was delighted when they both caught chicken pox under 10 years old as the alternative was shelling out for a vax in the first year of secondary school which isn't as effective as catching the virus.

I felt the same about slapped cheek in nursery. The are both DDs so it was great to catch that virus under 5 years to provide immunity if they are ever pregnant.

They are both physically healthy and fully immunised on the UK schedule.

I think this one is really hard and unfair for children who are immunocompromised. It's like the % of vax injury. What is best for 'the herd' of humanity means individual injury and perhaps even death for the few. To be that parent must be so incredibly hard.

We need DC to catch viruses young but...

Nits stay home until first treated
Chicken pox etc stay home until no longer contagious
Cold in the past at home if not well enough to work, otherwise at school, these days more likely to keep at home
Chesty coughs to school, DD used to get these lasting 3 weeks after every cold
Sick - 48 hour rule
A bit below par - take in but warn school and say I would collect if needed

There are loads of misinformation around childhood illnesses and seasonal illnesses in general which bugs me.

Flu is quite the illness, you'd not be walking around or casually dropping into conversation that "I've got the flu" as you'd be seriously unwell. You'd certainly know if your child had the flu and in no way shape or form you'd be taking them to nursery.

Also re chest infection. Just because someone has a nasty cough, it doesn't mean they have a chest infection. It's normally diagnosed by doctor and can be either due to pneumonia / bronchitis / bronchiolitis depending on where the infection is located by the sound of coughing / wheezing. (I'm not saying that the child in question doesn't have a chest infection, obviously!)

We had the roughest autumn / winter last year as it was our first season in nursery and toddler DS was home more than in nursery with recurrent episodes of HFM, Bronchiolitis & wheezing, Covid, fever, rashes, V&D.

But no, he will not stay at home if he has a cough & cold and snotty nose and is generally feeling well in himself. He is prone to getting wheezing and whilst last year I was beside myself with worry, now I just pop the kit & pump in his nursery bag as I know that any slight cough can make him wheezy.

A temperature, sickness, diarrhoea or if they just seem too unwell to be in school.
Coughing, sneezing, snotty but happy and full of energy then they go in. I can't be off work constantly to look after them.

How do you know this child and the three others have a chest infection and not a cough?
Chest infections aren’t very contagious and the cough from that or another virus can hang around for weeks so as long as the child was in good form I would send them in.
My toddler has asthma and if I kept her off because of a cough she would never be in nursery.

Anything where they’re too ill to participate happily in the day. He’s home presently with a cold. His nose is non stop runny, he’s lethargic, needs regular painkillers to stay in a reasonable countenance. Needs naps and can’t sleep well when he does fall asleep.

A normal cold with a bit of snot then fine.

He’s given it to me and the feel absolutely awful. It might be a ‘cold’ but not all colds are equal.

Sickness or diarrhea - 48 hours from last symptom
Any kind of temperature
If they have been up in the night (coughing etc)
A runny nose/ sneezing with no temperature they go in
Not eating or lethargic I would keep them off
Would probably keep them off if they seemed out of sorts
I am a sahm and I have that option though. Totally appreciate that working parents will struggle and honestly there's no way to really stop the spread of these things. Children are usually contagious long before symptoms appear. They've already spread it round nursery/ school before they're off ill. Before you even know they are ill. That chest infection will have been caught when the original child was asymptomatic I assure you.

Off - chickenpox, D&V or a temperature (for 48 hours after symptoms have gone - nursery rules), if DD is obviously not well, like when she had some sort of virus and just wanted sleep & cuddles all day.

Shes gone in with conjunctivitis, along with some medicated eye drops, oral thrush, along with some medicated mouth gel, and mild colds & coughs.

DH was hospitalised with flu this year so it’s not something I’d expect nursery-age DD to toddle in with.

D&v
cold - if they’re really tired and fever no, if they’re like their normal self they ll go in