I’ve done something stupid

[Bepeaceful]

Long long backstory but a couple of basic points.

1 I don’t speak to my dad and haven’t done since 1996. Since then around 2000 my uncle and another man spoke out that my dad abused them when they were young. Reported to police but didn’t take it any further and retracted statements as so embarrassed/ashamed about admitting it happened to them and the stress it caused. It has ruined both mens lives.

1. I’m divorced and after divorce my exh

introduced my 2 kids who were ds 9 and dd11 at the time to my dad. Just to get to me as he had always hated my dad and badmouthed him whenever he could even stating to the police my dad was a Paedophile whenever I called the police on him for Dv to try to discredit me.

anyway fast forward to today. I am picking my son up from my exh house son is 16. My dad has a friend who lives next door to my exh.
my dad pulls up right in front of my car bumper to bumper and waves at my son (he gives my son birthday cards with money in through my ex door at birthday and Xmas but not my daughter). I give my dad the middle finger and mouthed paedo to him 3 times before driving off. My son knows the full story btw. I had to tell kids because of what their dad did introducing them to him.

I am now a nervous wreck in case my dad has dash cam and reports me to police. I’ve also set my son a bad example of how to react I feel sick. I’ve not come face to face with my dad like that since 1996. Scared in case police come to my door and arrest me.

Thanks everyone I’m feeling a bit better reading the comments. I’m still wishing I didn’t do anything and Jelly legs/nervous tummy but my sensible side says I’m glad I didn’t meekly drive away and I hope I embarrassed him and made him feel ashamed. If police come I’ll say I was telling my son a story and didn’t notice who was in the car that parked in front of me.

I can just imagine the conversation, if he caled the police.

"My daughter, who I haven't see for 25 years, gave me the finger, and called me a paedo"

"Really sir? Why would she say that?"

"..."

I don't think he's going to want to have that conversation.

You didn't do anything illegal.

This can't be real.

Well done for giving him the finger and calling him exactly what he is.
And see it as a positive light that your son knows that people like him should be called out on it
And I'm 100% sure the police will not be showing up on your doorstep.

I'd be very tempted to ring ss on my ex if he was knowingly introducing my child to a paedophile and putting them at risk. What a pos.

Arrest you for what? You really think the police might come to your door? You really, really need to calm down.

Agreed.

You're not going to get arrested. Even if your dad had a dash cam is he really going to want to go to the police and explain why his daughter called him a paedo. Then send them to your house so you can tell them again.

You called him a name & shouted in the street.

Where did you get that from?

She says she mouthed paedo a few times inside her car while giving him the finger.

Let him try to prove you said paedo, even if he reports it, which i doubt he will.

Yeah exactly.

But op wouldn't even have to prove she didn't say paedo, and he couldn't prove she did. She mouthed it so noone even heard it.

As someone said, she could just say he's mistaken/paranoid and she was singing along to a song or speaking to her kids.

But he's extremely unlikely to report it anyway.

Tell them you were talking about play dough 😂

Sorry, op but it might help to see the funny side.

He'll never prove you said it ... Noone else even heard it, he didn't even hear it.

It would be his word against yours and he's got an extremely dodgy background he won't want highlighted.

Why?

Child sex abuse is extremely common.

Child sex abusers having kids of all ages is extremely common, most of them do.

So why would a child sex abuser encountering his NC adult child be such an unlikely scenario.

As a pp said, if people got in trouble for mouthing and making rude gestures most of us would be in trouble.
Im sorry you had to see him - your Ex is a very strange person to do this.

Op I think you were very restrained actually.

I heard of a woman shouting paedophile at her husband's childhood abuser across a small petrol station forecourt.

I doubt she was reported, it's not like they want to highlight the accusations against them to the police or legal professionals.

Your father is a Cunt, you reacted!

Forgive yourself.

Are you her Dad by any chance?

What a sheltered life you've had.... lucky you.

I'm so sorry to say this, but I think your ex and your dad has scared and scarred you into thinking that you can't express your opinion. The gestures might have been because you felt your father was being agressive, and perhaps you screemed "wierdo" .. who would know.

Thanks for all your replies I’m so grateful for everyone taking time out their day to read and comment. It’s made me feel so much better. It wasn’t just what had happened today, I suppose it brought back a lot of memories of my dad that were pretty awful. Not sexual abuse to me but v v bad Dv to my mother.