To wonder why people tell jokes or say things jokingly that aren’t amusing

[Liquoriceandblack]

Asked a colleague if I could quickly lean across her to get a pen.

’No, you can’t. Tee hee only joking.’

I mean, the only purpose it serves is to make me feel awkward. It isn’t funny so why pretend it is a joke? I’m so shit at responding when people do this - anyone else?

Yanbu, I just don't get it!!

They have a shit sense of humour. In those sorts of situations I'd usually smile weakly and inwardly roll my eyes.

How about walking around?

You're imposing on someone. They're entitled to make light of it surely?

I don't mind these kinds of exchanges as what's the alternative, "I'd rather you didn't". That would make you feel more awkward surely?

I personally never ask a question unless I'm prepared for the worst case.

Umm, no, is it not just that people have different senses of humour, tastes etc? I mean, not offensive racist / sexist type of thing but I don't think you can categorise a joke as objectively not funny just because you don't find it so. Toilet humour I think is hideous and cringeworthy on anyone over 8 but I know many disagree.

I find that some people tend to use humour to make light of an unpleasant thing they're saying... not being sure how it will be received and allowing themselves an opportunity to backtrack. In my mind, I always take such 'jokes' as at least half truths. It sounds like the example you gave may fit this well.

I’m guessing they do think it’s amusing or they wouldn’t say it.

Because they think it's amusing?

Some people like to just fill space and like to ping pong nonsense comments over and back to each other.

They want to interact with you, but are shy/socially awkward.
I would have asked them to please pass me a pen?

Because they're idiots.

I know what you mean. Think it’s just a reflex sometimes, to have something to say

I think sometimes the sort of thing OP describes is a bit of a power play. They know that you've asked a question as a social convention so they give an unexpected (but very predictable) answer knowing it will make you feel uncomfortable and to see your reaction. If you give the expected reaction (looking a bit awkward) you get the 'ha, ha, only joking' reply. If you give them an unexpected response (walking away, telling them they're rude etc) they will accuse you of overreacting/having no sense of humour etc and make it seem like you've been unreasonable.

Another common version of this 'joke' is where someone goes to hand you something then pulls it away slightly, then repeats the 'joke'.

@Hippiehippieshake and @Lunar270 but that example is one of many, I promise I am not ignorantly shoving my bulk into peoples faces as a matter of course.

I do think it's just to fill space, or possibly because there is only one answer and it sounds strange to say it.

There's a guy at work who's job it is to pass out stuff. I'll say 'Jeff, could you put the next lot of files on my desk please' and he'll say 'oh, I don't know' or 'I might do that' or similar. I have no idea how to reply so just react as though he said yes and say thanks.

Boredom I think or to show they aren't too serious. Not especially hilarious though, no. Depends on delivery though. I used to work with someone who did this and it was very funny for some reason

No idea. They're twits.

We won tickets to a circus through MN once. It wasn't at the expected location, and we spent an hour driving around trying to find it. Got there in time for afternoon performance but somewhat stressed with 2 young DC. Exchanged the voucher for the tickets. All good.

Went to the tent 'oh' they said 'those are for this evening'. I was somewhat het up and said I'd just been given them. 'Haha Joke'.

They were lucky I'm not a violent person. What a way to treat customers!