What can't you afford?

[Marleymerm]

Last week at work my colleague told me her recent eye test showed she needed glasses, but she couldn't afford them, she's known she's needed them for a couple of years but said she doesn't have the money. We both work full time in office jobs and neither of us have expensive hobbies or social lives, we're both pretty boring.
I realised this morning I haven't bought new shoes for months despite the ones I have coming apart, because I can't afford them. I've picked up pairs but put them back down when I've thought of what else I need instead.
When I asked this question to my friend about what she couldn't afford she told me her monthly prescription! She hasn't got it for 3 months.
It's a weird time we're living in so everyone's doing without something. But do you have any necessary things you need but can't afford?

I'd also like to mention, since I see it crop up a lot on these boards. There may be women out there who don't manage their finances as a joint income. I see many of them saying everything they spend is from their own income with joint contribution to outgoings even when their partner earns far more.

If there is anyone out there like this and going without glasses or dentistry, please, please talk to your partner seriously about the financial arrangements in the family. It should all go into a central pot and spent from there.

I had this chat with DH many years ago before we had a family and we talked about the higher cost of being me. Glasses, 3 prescriptions a month, personal hygiene products, expensive footwear due to an injury, expensive bras due to large breasts, and the expectation (that I don't really conform to except for token effort) of dressing in a professional way for work which includes having tidy hair and increasingly, make up.

When I listed these things out and the cost he was amazed and realised why I never saved any bloody money!!!! Now it all goes in together and I can spend as I see fit and he contributes more to those things than I do now I'm on a smaller salary than him (used to be equal).

I think I might need stronger glasses than the one's I have now but have put off having an eye test because every time I have a test they say my old pair has scratches and I need new ones but they don't seem to be scratched when I use them. The last two pairs were no stronger than the previous pairs I had and I use the older pair for when I use the Xbox and they seem fine and the newest pair when I play snooker in my club. The opticians seem to be saying this just so I will buy a new pair every time I have an eye test.

This thread is just so sad.
I donate to Acts435 charity. The money goes directly to those in need which is why I like this charity
I would urge the posters who are in a better financial position to help those in need.
Even a couple of packets of biscuits donated to a food bank will make a difference.
I hope and pray that things get better soon

I understand what your saying but everyone expects the government to help them, it’s not a bottomless pit.

I think that the main problem is to do with high rents, it is disgusting. A little tiny studio flat in my area was £300 a month about 3 years ago, now it is £700 I had viewed that one when it was £300. Luckily I do not have a greedy landlord. A one bedroom flat used to be £450 now today one in my area is £1000!!! How can anyone afford that if they are single!! all the landlords are getting this money. I heard it was better years ago when there were more council homes to rent. The rich are also getting richer. I think that the energy costs and food costs are reflective of the conflict. In WW2 they had rationing, I think they are trying to stop us having to go into rationing by encouraging us to buy less, meaning that we are not faced with the stress of rationing at this time.

One thing I haven’t seen mentioned are charitable grants. You can search by postcode on turn2us.org.uk.
They are often very quirky - one near me eligibility is live within 50 miles of the town hall and result of historical benefactors but worth a look. Often people don’t know they exist.
Some professions and trades also have benevolent funds for people who have fallen in hard times. Glasses costing £500 are exactly sort of thing they would cover.

Also worth checking with your local council and county council if there are any charitable bequests. This type of thing.
burnley.gov.uk/council-democracy/stocks-massey/

Could you not use your existing frames and just pay for the new lens? I have done that before - I have varifocal sunglasses and had to have them upgraded but used the same frame - it reduced the price by over 50%

Just wanted to give an update and thank the PPs who gave great advice and tips about the car tyres. We've managed to find a set of partly worn tyres from a fairly local (1 hour drive away) garage and they have said they will fit them as well for a price just under our budget. My friend will drive over on Saturday for the appointment and hopefully it will all be OK. So relieved for her!

Thank you MNetters 😘couldn't have done it without you.

<<sigh>> She said the frames were £25. Not buying them isn't going to save over 50% of the cost of the lenses, is it?
I've already said this, but my lenses on their own cost about £600 a go. 'Just paying' for new ones is not exactly trivial when you've got complicated and problematic eyes like me and many others on here.
But just crack on with not listening/believing us.

@SurpriseWombat

Hopefully you can get something second hand on eBay

I have big wide windows but my recent JL curtains were for a large 3 m window but only sill length and under £300

There are places that do cheaper glasses but by the time you add on your higher prescription, and all the othe bits I would have saved £2 and they wouldn't have been fitted, I have a small head and without fail the arms need bending to fit.

Bras really are expensive for the larger busted lady it's basically criminal and these sizes are hardly on same.

Great news.

For curtains I’d try facebook marketplace or eBay. Try searching interlined. Or John Lewis. Beautiful curtains for very little as people just want rid of them if they have moved/had an extension etc.

CHECK YOUR ELIGIBILTY FOR FREE PRESCRIPTIONS (MEDICAL EXEMPTION)

I am sorry if this has already been mentioned but this thread is very long and I haven't been able to go through them all but when people are mentioning prescriptions that you can not afford please check to see if you are eligible for free prescriptions if you have a long term health condition. I found that I was but no-one one told me about this (GP didn't mention it to me or the pharmacy). I found out when I joined a Facebook Group that mentioned having this long term condition made us eligible for free prescriptions. It isn't limited to the drug you're prescribed for the condition either, it covers other things (presumably because we are more likely to need pain meds etc. due to the side effects).

Also, if you are not eligible for free ones but you get a lot of prescriptions then buying an annual prescription works out much better for you. Details of 3 month, 6 month and annual ones are available in the pharmacy.

I can’t afford clothes for my 8 year old it’s also his birthday in 2 weeks I have nothing and Christmas is the same I’m so gutted and I know he will be he doesn’t even have a winter coat hats/gloves

When I worked at Social Work they would collect presents which were distributed to families who could not afford a christmas present for their kids - maybe you could try asking there?

I am so sorry, life should not be this hard.

In regards to fruit, I've moved to buying frozen and doing smoothies. Not as nutritious but still very good. Cheap, no need to throw away after a few days.

They really are many ways to reduce costs. Some already do so, but many struggling do have a number of options left to do so.

This is so sad. As someone else has already said, there is help out there if you can find them. Check with your local Families First (think it may be called different things in different areas?) essentially, it is a Local Authority service. They should be able to help or redirect you elsewhere.

@Untamedfemale
do you not get child benefit for him ? We’re on a low income and my kids have never gone without clothes. I buy a lot off eBay and you can look in charity shops . No way my kids would ever go cold in winter. Same for birthday and Xmas gifts.

I went for years on very low income with no help at all from my kids dad. Not once did they go without decent food and proper clothing . I made sure I had bus fair to take them to all the appropriate hospital/ doctors appointments. Sorry but in this country you get child benefit so why are people not making sure there kids have all the basics ? Even Xmas and birthdays were always done on a tight budget but my kids never went without. I think people really need to get help with budgeting etc.

I'm not sure you can do a degree in that @billycat321 ? Seems rather specialist.
Also kind of cruel of you.

Hi, what you are doing is fine, just remember to keep saving some money in case of job losses. Giving tinned food and vegan meals helps, as I think food banks do not get as much vegan tinned food that can do vegetarians too. there is vegan supermarket online called vegan kind, they can even deliver to your local food bank if you ask the food bank first.