What can't you afford?

[Marleymerm]

Last week at work my colleague told me her recent eye test showed she needed glasses, but she couldn't afford them, she's known she's needed them for a couple of years but said she doesn't have the money. We both work full time in office jobs and neither of us have expensive hobbies or social lives, we're both pretty boring.
I realised this morning I haven't bought new shoes for months despite the ones I have coming apart, because I can't afford them. I've picked up pairs but put them back down when I've thought of what else I need instead.
When I asked this question to my friend about what she couldn't afford she told me her monthly prescription! She hasn't got it for 3 months.
It's a weird time we're living in so everyone's doing without something. But do you have any necessary things you need but can't afford?

I hear you. I also have a complex prescription, although not as serious as yours, -7.50, astigmatism etc etc. I need lenses and glasses because of different activities (and vanity - I hate wearing glasses on a night out, or when it’s raining or for a run. And particularly during mask wearing. I swear I start breathing heavily immediately and steam up my glasses). It took over the three months to get the right lenses through trial and error and my glasses cost nearly £600 (with cheapo frames).

I see it as a necessity though and would forgo any extras for my eyes. Don’t fuck with your eyes. I don’t want to be that old lady who can’t leave the house because she can’t see.

I can’t afford a classic channel handbag or that £475 LK Bennett dress I covet but I suppose I can live without them 🤷‍♀️

Completely agree. I also have -9 vision with astigmatism, once you’ve had the lenses thinned (which by this stage you can’t opt out of or they won’t fit in the frames) it’s several hundred on top of what everyone else pays. And you can’t even get cheapo ones online because most stop at around -6 or -7. Really unfair, if my glasses break I’m not safe, couldn’t even find household objects such as phone in an emergency, let alone see well enough to use it.

@allalisha I am sorry you feel that way. I work in the care system and would at all costs prefer to see families kept together. I wanted to send you this advice in an annon forum where I feel like if you have the information you can take the necessary steps. All children should be able to access an NHS dentist wherever you live in the UK and the fact that you can't get your children in to one means the children are being failed - by the state. You need to advocate for them. Its good news that they are not in pain, but you need to get them registered before they are in pain as pain usually occurs after the damage is already done, which is why regular check ups are needed. I know I may sound preachy. I am sorry for that. I am not sorry for giving you the information to use for their advantage.

Can you get previously owned curtains on Ebay or somewhere like that, Gumtree perhaps, you might be able to pick them up very cheaply. People move all the time and are left with utterly useless-sized curtains which they would probably gladly take £30 for.

The thing that has staggered me lately is the price of wallpaper, B&Q has very little for less than £20 a roll. Is it the cost of wood pulp? The last time I papered my living room the rolls were about £6 each!

Thankfully I don’t have to have an eye test until next year. However I currently can’t afford to replenish the stock for my small business because of the exchange rate. I can’t afford my usual shopping and am having to make changes to my list. I can’t afford to have my hair cut. I can’t afford new clothes or makeup or any treats. I can’t afford Christmas. I can’t afford my childrens bithdays. I just hope that none of my white goods/tv/car go wrong or I’m fucked. Thanks Tories. Bunch of rich sociopaths.

@kitcat15 My God I am pleased I don't work in your Local Authority!!
I work in the care system and very closely with schools. This would be flagged up a CIN status in my LA without a doubt. I am suggesting preventative steps. I can not believe as a person working in CP you would condone a child not getting access to dental treatment. I have not "blamed" the parent. I have asked her to write to her MP. If we all remain silent nothing will change and then the parent is held responsible.
I think you should read up on current policy.

I think I might have to go down that route for now. For some odd reason the vendor took those awkwardly sized curtains with them (didn't even offer to sell them to me separately!), but left some more average sized curtains in the bedroom.

But then the vendor took most of the lightbulbs except the broken ones and left us a bottle of wine, so there's nowt so queer as folk.

Wilko have wallpaper starting at £8.80/roll for the patterned stuff (lining paper etc is cheaper).

If you are doing a bit of a project, make sure you sign up to the B&Q club as they start you off with a free fiver and keep emailing me vouchers (e.g. £10 off when you spend £75), and it's really not hard to spend £75 in there on a project.

My medication
Dentist (piece of one of my teeth missing since almost three years when the tooth cracked, I keep using temporary filling from Boots to fix it)
Contact lenses
Socks and underwear, I only have two pairs of socks now

My husband has a great salary and I work part time! We still genuinely can’t afford any of the above. He was unemployed during covid and we are never going to catch up financially from what happened during those years, we have to make big changes to our life to make ends meet going forward but it takes time to move and change the children’s schools etc. Until then everything other than food, bills, and petrol will have to wait

Yes, exactly this! I know I need new glasses, but couldn’t afford to at last eye test and won’t be able to now, either. Work pay the eye test and give a £50 voucher, plus I get the £60 complex prescription voucher. So that’s still another £500 I’ll need, and no doubt my eyes will be worse again in another couple of years 😞
I was also facing winter without warm, waterproof shoes, but luckily got given some a friend had bought but found a bit tight. Given I am in a well paid, professional job (albeit a single parent living in London) it just shouldn’t be this way.

I blew a lot of my savings over the summer, stocking up on long life grocery items when they went on offer. I’m glad I did now else I wouldn’t be able to afford as much food. DD has specific dietary requirements (health issues) so I would have been cutting back what I get to eat.

Been like that in this household for almost a year now...... and take my word for it, existing on cup a soups plain boiled rice or a couple slices of bare toast is soul destroying, energy sapping and not good for mental health. On a personal note, 3 bouts of covid have done my health no favours at all, constantly recurring headaches, deep pain in every joint, painful bony spurs on hands and feet, doctors appointments still near impossible to get, I am forever being told after hours waiting in a phone queue that appointments are for people who are actually sick!?! And four teeth broken down to blackened stubs with another two heading that way, only private dentists for 200 odd miles around now here. This week, today, I sat in tears after asking council tax people if i could skip a weeks payment as wont have money left after to buy even that basic food, and they said no. I predict we will be homeless or very very ill then homeless before the year ends. 2K would clear all the backlogs, get my car mot'd so i can seek work further from home and stock up our food cupboards again, to last through winter... but that may as well be 2M for the chances of that occuring here for us, although I have tried entering every single competition I can find online. I honestly would be giving up on everything if it wasn't for my son being in his exam year. I feel so guilty and sorry for him, I have failed him . He has had a worse childhood than I did, and I couldn't have worked any harder than I have so far in life, but have absolutely nothing to show for any of it

Our local foodbank also has a clothes bank for people who need things, free of course so it may be worth checking your local area for same.

Also it's worth checking out vinted. I've picked up new/nearly new clothing from there. A Hobbs puffa for a fiver, shoes for £10 etc.

@RocketPanda id really like to help your friend. I’m not loaded but I can spare some money to help. Please DM me x

I can highly recommend Specscart - I used them for a similar complex prescription- my new glasses made me realise how rubbish the specsavers ones were & I paid sub £200 whereas paying well >500
before so naturally doing without glasses upgrades
Would need to check as they may only do down to -8 though

We are doing ok financially but I aware that things can change.
So I ensure that there is less food waste. The heating is on for set hours. Rarely by any new clothing.
Both my dds are at university, but have part time jobs
Dental treatment is very expensive. I have spent a small fortune on mine and the dcs teeth . Something has to be done about the lack of access to NHS dentist

Takeaways as a treat. We used to get a takeaway around once a week, but then started cutting it back to twice a month. Lockdown came and we ditched them apart from on birthdays, anniversaries, etc. But this year we've had 3 takeaways in total. It was my birthday yesterday and we had Asda pizzas. They were absolute crap 😞. We already shop at Aldi and Lidl and I've just started to get a shop with BrightStore (a charity based food help) who offer £4 and £6 bags of food, mainly tins and fresh veg. They've got so popular (sadly) that they've stopped taking on new people.

I had an issue with curtains as I moved into a three bed non-standard house with none a few years back. Made to measure was coming in at around £5k for the house.

I went on a course - it was only a day to learn basic curtain and Roman blind making. It was really pretty easy - it’s just a very large oblong with lots of hems. Mine was at Ministry of Craft in Manchester but there will be others around the country. For cheap fabrics look at Terrys fabrics online, or factory or mill shops. Fabric stalls on markets are also really good.

I can't afford :
Dentist
Petrol
Food
Haircuts
Prescriptions
New carpets or mattresses
Shoes
Holidays
Savings
Nice tea bags

My prescription was very complex ( -19 and -16) with astigmatism and other issues. I've had Asda glasses for past 10 years. Have always been excellent. Thin, glass lenses ( thinner than plastic) varifocals, anti reflective etc. Same price as standard. On querying, I was told I was a "loss leader" and they make money from most prescriptions, to make up for complex prescriptions like mine. I've now had eye surgery, so different prescription, but still an excellent service and quality glasses.

@Sorebackandibs if you haven't tried it already check out the Freecycle website or similar (e.g. freegle) in your local area - people list things they no longer need that you can have for free, there was a fridge freezer in my area only last week. They don't often come up/it's very much luck and timing its true but worth looking or posting a wanted ad someone might have been thinking of getting rid but not got round to posting an ad. Usually you have to collect the item yourself (a problem if you don't have a car/can't afford fuel) but occasionally some people will deliver to their local area.

You're making this sound less scary than it could be.

I'm off to watch some YouTube videos and contemplate if I know anyone with a sewing machine and then watch more YT videos about how the bloody hell you work a sewing machine)

I’m putting off buying new glassses.
There are lot of comments on this thread from people who don’t have complex prescriptions/astigmatism etc - it’s the lenses that push the price up by hundreds.

She may be entitled to help for glasses, OP.
www.nhs.uk/nhs-services/help-with-health-costs/nhs-low-income-scheme-lis/

For good quality, especially in rarer sizes, absolutely. And big chests can't do without.😔