What can't you afford?

[Marleymerm]

Last week at work my colleague told me her recent eye test showed she needed glasses, but she couldn't afford them, she's known she's needed them for a couple of years but said she doesn't have the money. We both work full time in office jobs and neither of us have expensive hobbies or social lives, we're both pretty boring.
I realised this morning I haven't bought new shoes for months despite the ones I have coming apart, because I can't afford them. I've picked up pairs but put them back down when I've thought of what else I need instead.
When I asked this question to my friend about what she couldn't afford she told me her monthly prescription! She hasn't got it for 3 months.
It's a weird time we're living in so everyone's doing without something. But do you have any necessary things you need but can't afford?

Yes this. My dentist has gone private. I really cannot afford huge bills for dental treatment.

Where I live there is a community shop that is run by the local church and stocked via Fair share which people can use twice a week. You get so much food for £4 including 5 fruit and veg items, a bakery item , 7 shelf items, 2 fridge and 2 freezer items . They often have meal boxes in from HF and Gusto for £3 too. Over the years I have learnt how to do a lot of jobs that would normally cost a lot of money to pay someone to do. I'm a qualified hairdresser and nail tech, I can do simple plumbing and jobs on my car. I can plaster small areas and lay a patio . I will try to sort most things if I can. I also swap skills with other friends - that way no money changes hands. Shoes I buy from an outlet warehouse who sell major brands at a third of the cost and clothing only tends to be bought if its my birthday ( and have been given money) or something has worn out. I do clothes swaps with friends too. As far as major purchases are concerned I shop around and use whatever discount code that I can. I think we are all going to have to think out of the box going forward and support each other when we can 🤗

I always had NHS dentists ("OK, good enough") until we moved house and couldn't find one accepting new NHS patients. This forced me to "go private"; or rather take out a private dentists dental plan. I pay £35 a month. I wish I'd known decades ago that I could have far superior dental care and treatment for just over a pound a day

What is included in the 35 a month?
Are fillings, crowns etc included?

And you do realize there are still people who cannot afford 35 a month despite not having subscription services and whatever else?

I told him to really look after his teeth from now on.
Please don’t say this, my mother told me this when I needed a root canal a few years ago. I have the worlds worst teeth. They are ugly and awful and some of that is me but not all.

On dentists someone mentioned children needing braces. Do shop around on the NHS. Our NHS dentist recommended my son to a dentist (on the NHS) who did the work for my son when he needed them (and it was free) and there were a lot of pregnant women there too getting NHS free braces - no charge when pregnant I think). My son did ot need to change dentist to use this braces man for some reason. On the other hand my other adult son has not been able to find any NHS dentist where he lives now (oxford shire) so has to go for checkups where we are on a day off work which involves a 30 min bus ride, then a bigger bus and then the tube and then I collect him from there each way - as he luckily never took himself off the books of our local NHS dentist. I paid for his root canal treatment on 3 teeth last year (NHS charges were about £400 or may be more - it was about 7 appointments by the time they finished with tooth 3.

My reading glasses from the supermarket are quite cheap however and I dye my hair at home (£7) and just about never cut it so that saves some money.

I buy prescription glasses online for cheap
www.goggles4u.co.uk/?gclid=Cj0KCQjwnbmaBhD-ARIsAGTPcfXfYpPdYv4Gj7w9YS8BjLFY2OFt8igyMJJS92dQ5ToVK_pn00wLLjQaAliaEALw_wcB

Glassesdirect are very cheap

I dont go out anymore. stay at home, no social life, no movies nights, no posh bars or pubs. Im just existing, I am not living

Optician here. A free annual eye examination IS available to anyone 40 years old and over with a family history of glaucoma (mum, dad, brother, sister). You will be asked to sign to confirm this is the case. The NHS do make random checks. If you are on a limited income (but not on some benefits i.e. universal credit, pension credit guarantee etc), a form is available called an HC1. Fill this in, send off and await reply. If you are lucky you will receive an HC2 which will entitle you to free tests and glasses. There are many reasons for qualifying for free eyecare. Please check with your optician as you may be entitled.

I have just asked my DP (car nerd) where he would go for cheap tyres, and he said try a scrapyard - he says try asking for spare tyres from the boots of scrapped cars too. He also says try local garages for part-worn tyres, some will sell them quite cheap. Also, some garages offer a payment scheme, if that's any good? I'm so sorry your friend is going through this, I really hope she finds a solution soon.

Bear in mind that if registered, the person would no longer be allowed to drive.

I was the same too. I was scared of private dental costs so stuck with a so-so NHS dentist for years and a lot of my teeth were having problems from patch-up rather than solid repairs and treatment. The private dentist was an investment, in that my teeth have now stabilised so I shouldn't need so much dental work going forward, which is where I was headed before. I'm on a dental plan and the kids are seen for free.

@Marleymerm

If you use a pc at work they may offer some help with the glasses as you need them for the job?

All sorts. My prescriptions. A new pair of glasses as above. Shoes (currently have one pair of white trainers which have a hole in the bottom - I'm cruising the charity shops but not found a suitable replacement yet!) A winter duvet. New pillows. Carpet for the house (you get used to concrete floors). To pay into a pension or savings account.

I could go on. We shop at Aldi, have zero luxuries, haven't been out with DH for over 7 years and not been on holiday abroad for 10 years.

Both work, one FT one PT around the kids as we have no childcare options. 2 kids. Not entitled to any benefits at all.

Actually, worked out our income is basically the same now as it was 10 years ago. Shame food prices, fuel, clothes prices and everything else isn't the same price. We were ok 10 years ago.

I dont go out anymore. stay at home, no social life, no movies nights, no posh bars or pubs. Im just existing, I am not living
Can you organise nights in instead? Board game nights where you get a six pack of popcorn or a pizza? Book club night with a book from the library? Movie night or YouTube night? Can you start going on walks or runs or cycles? Huge hugs, I’ve been there and felt there was nothing out there but we lived for 3 years on fumes, made excuses to get out of anything that cost money but then found ways around the horribleness of just sitting in and feeling the world was for everyone else Xxxxx

The dc father has " no income" yet funds quite a nice lifestyle according to social media

This is the other thing people aren't mentioning - a lot of single parents would manage fine, or at least better, if their kids' fathers paid their way. The government could do a lot more to make sure payments are made. I know some men give up work, but they're cutting their nose off to spite their face as they'll be much worse off on benefits than they would be earning a decent wage or salary and paying the appropriate amount for their kids.

to buy a house

@Marleymerm Do you have a mortgage? Maybe you just prioritise differently?

Probably won't make the same mistake twice then, will he?

Just had to cancel the kids swimming lessons. Just too expensive for 3 of them. And we went from 2 cars to 1. We are rural and not much public transport so I'm stuck home most days and work from home as dh needs it for work.

Cut down on food shop. Changed life insurance policies. And generally being extra careful. Also no heating on here yet too.

Dentist, we’ve not seen a dentist in 5 years (no nhs dentist taking on), we’ve both been in agony (me and DH), dc have never seen a dentist.

New clothes - I buy everything off Vinted.

To get our hair done, me and DH do each other’s (I cut his, he bleaches and tones mine, I give myself a trim).

Yep DD just had her eye test & needs new specs at a cost of £200.

As an adult she should really be paying for her own glasses but I explained that sight is considered a luxury item & transferred her the money. As a glasses wearer I'm all too aware of the costs involved & as a driver I'd rather not have people on the roads who aren't meeting the legal requirement to drive because they can't afford to have the correct prescription lenses.

Also had to cancel swimming lessons for DC, they get 1 hobby/1 baby group visit a week otherwise we go to the park with a picnic.

Envious of all the posters for whom a pair of glasses actually costs £25.
I also have a very severe prescription and an eye condition. I always go for the cheapest frames available (that can handle my lenses, which are thick even after thinning) and the fewest additional coatings and processes possible and my bill is usually around £175-£200. But that was before the Covid so god knows now.

I just don’t go to the opticians anymore.

Also, did you know that if you have to have whacky freak lenses, like me, you aren’t necessarily eligible for the “buy one pair of glasses and get a second pair free”. It’s in the small print: “not for freaks”

Home Bargains do a wide range of hair colours for less than that, also B&M

I just got my son a gorgeous next outfit in superb as new condition for £3 for both items. Both still in stock at next and would have cost me £30 for his size. Vinted is a revelation