Inappropriate workplace comments?

[Ihavehadenoughalready]

So, I live in the US, and I've named my children what I think are not outlandish names, one of them being Elena. I think Elena is a beautiful name. I know it's grown in popularity since my daughter was born (she's a young adult now).

And I must add that we are Americans of French, German, Scottish, English, Dutch background, ie, the usual "white people" genes, I guess.

I obviously like the name and never thought anything of naming her that, and frankly didn't care if people might think she's Hispanic or Russian or Slavic or whatever. A name is a name. I've seen lots of people named Elena through my many years on this globe, with various spelling versions.

Daughter came home today from a new job when an older co-worker she just met asked her her name and when told it was Elena, the older (also white) coworker made all sorts of statements and inquiries as to whether or not she was Hispanic, whether her parents were born here, whether she spoke Spanish, how weird it was that she had that name. Daughter kept telling her she's American, she was born here, her parents were born here. Her parents named her that because they liked the name. Daughter said this coworker then went off to do something else, came back and then continued on and asked if perhaps her grandparents were born somewhere else? Were the grandparents Hispanic? Again reiterating how odd she was named Elena if she's not Hispanic.

My thoughts are that this entire line of questioning was very inappropriate because it made my daughter very uncomfortable to the point she doesn't want to have to run onto this lady again, because of what an idiot she was, and as my daughter pointed out to me, what if she had had a Hispanic background? Does that mean she speaks Spanish? That she wasn't born here? That her parents weren't born here? Why would that even matter? That nobody who isn't Hispanic can use the name Elena? To me it's crazy, and my first reaction was to suggest my daughter go make a complaint to her supervisor about it. But perhaps just avoiding this woman is the better way to go. The whole thing seems really odd and my daughter has never had anyone react to her name in this way.

Why are some Americans so weird and nosy and think they're entitled to your life history? And at work, no less.

The co-worker is very weird, but there’s at least one in every workplace! She might be well known for this! Complaining to the supervisor doesn’t sound a good move, it could make your daughter seem petty. If this woman carries on with the weirdness, your daughter doesn’t have to answer. She could just use strategies to stop the woman unsettling her.

”Doris, you really are being a bit strange about my name”. Then walk away and ignore.
”Doris, what is your point?”
”Doris, I’ve had enough of you asking weird questions about my name, it’s quite rude, please stop now”.

That's so odd of the woman. I agree with PP that your DD needs to be direct and nip it in the bud. Maybe she could try a light comment such as "it was just a name my parents liked, no Hispanic connection - do you know it's also popular in Eastern Europe? But anyway, no need to ask again". I know a Greek person called Jean-Claude, no connections to France whatsoever!

People in America are so weird about ancestry, it's a national obsession. As a Brit living in the US, within a few minutes of meeting someone new they'll have mentioned their full ancestry, and it's always so bloody boring, lol.

Your poor daughter will just need to do as a previous poster said and ask the woman why she's so upset. It is obviously steeped in micro racism. She sees a white girl with what she perceives as an ethnic name and she is confused, does she treat the girl as white or not?

You've said this has never happened before, so surely this is a "weird person" thing, not an American thing.

It's weird (especially because "Elena" doesn't seem that unique of a name, nor one that is used almost exclusively by people of Hispanic origin), but people can be odd at times. It's up to your daughter to decide if it's enough to put her off this job.

Doris sounds like a racist… and there is plenty of them in America.

Your daughter just needs to tell her to stop as she finding her line of questioning offensive.

I agree with @Oliverfunyuns , "You've said this has never happened before, so surely this is a "weird person" thing, not an American thing."

Elena is also popular Greek name 😊.

If i was your dd i'd say after a blatant yawn... can we talk about something else now?

Doris was king Herod’s wife.
Is the colleague Middle Eastern.

I wouldn’t call it inappropriate, not in a way to put an official complaint. Your daughter just have to say stop to it. “I feel uncomfortable, please don’t ask again”.

I'd assume it was Greek but I wouldn't follow with an interrogation

Only Elena l know is Russian so l thought you were going to say she attacked her about the war! She is just a strange lady.

And I must add that we are Americans of French, German, Scottish, English, Dutch background

No. You’re just American.

What is it with Americans and their declarations that they’re of X, Y and Z background when it’s usually less than 0.5%? It’s so silly and really embarrassing.

The only Elena I know is American and with a similar background to yours.

There is always one bonkers person in every workplace - don't let your DD over think it.

I've had many people over the years insist I must be Italian (no indication in my name that I have any Italian heritage). I'm actually mixed race but don't tell people that, just say they are completely wrong about me being Italian.

Re the heritage thing, within seconds of meeting an American (in America), I knew all about him being 13th generation Irish. My family is 2nd generation, thought I’d keep quiet about that, it’s just normal in the UK to have Irish grandparents. I find some Americans very obsessed with being Irish.

"What is it with Americans and their declarations that they’re of X, Y and Z background when it’s usually less than 0.5%? It’s so silly and really embarrassing."

Embarrassing? I included it because I thought it background info for the story.

Yes, I'm cognizant of my heritage because I've always found family history to be so interesting. Everything I mentioned is based on my family tree and DNA analysis. Both my parents have mostly French Canadian ancestry and I think it's cool. I'm American of European heritage. Not sure why it bothers you that Americans find this interesting? I've watched ancestry shows set in Australia and everyone always seems so pleased when their family is traced back to an original settler that was a prisoner. I get that thrill and love history and thinking about all the people that came before me that contributed to my DNA and where and how they might have lived.

America is still a relatively new country and sorry if a lot of us are interested in how we got here and when.

I also know if I go back far enough in my tree I'm related to everyone in Europe, and farther still, everyone on Earth.

America is still a relatively new country and sorry if a lot of us are interested in how we got here and when

I think people often forget that america is a relatively new country .