To ask if you are/have been single (with kids) did you feel the need to do every hour of your child free weekends with plans ?

[Warmbutterytoastedbaconroll]

My friend does this. She's a single mum, DC are twins and are 17. When they go to their dads eow she literally fills every hour of those weekends with plans. Booking/ scheduling people in, seeing who's available then holding them to lose plans which were made as a rough/maybe type of thing. I can understand wanting to go out maybe on a Fri/sat night with friends. But plans all weekend - every weekend she's alone - fri night & Saturday and Sunday in the day & night too ?
She can obviously do as she pleases but I just find it odd

Good lord no. I spent my childfree time in my pjs eating junk.

yabu to be bothered what she does

some people just like to have plans all the time!

Im a single parent whose kids go to their dad. I prefer a mixture of plans and quiet time, although the world seems to be conspiring to make me have plans more than I’d like at the moment!

Maybe she doesn’t like being alone so fills up every minute she can NOT being alone , or maybe she just enjoys company and that’s her best life. Do what you can and want to with her and then do what you enjoy doing ?

It’s a strange thing to judge someone on and feel so strongly about that you need to chat to others about!

She has a limited amount of free time so she has to use it when she has it, plus maybe she misses her kids more if she’s just at home. What exactly do you find odd?

If you've never been in the position of your children going to stay with their other parent every other weekend, you can have no idea of what it's like. Some people love the "free weekend", personally for me I hate it and always have. I never get used to being without my young children, and hate being alone in the house without them. Can totally understand why she does this. Keeping busy probably keeps her mind from the horrible feeling of missing them and being without them. Try not to be so judgy would be my advice to you.

Yabu. Since you are asking us to judge for some fucking reason.

I think I find it odd because I'm comfortable in my own company and don't mind it. She is literally bouncing off the walls at 6am on her weekends without DC and up and out as soon as. Then has plans until her bedtime Sunday eve. DC then dropped home Monday morning. Their dad lives a good hour away.

Still don't understand what the heck it has to do with you or why you are so invested in how she spends her time. None of your business.

What a bizarre post.
It's as simple as each of us is different.
My friend finds it really hard going on the weekends that her ex has DC; she copes by making back to back plans. She can't bear her own company.
I find the times that my ex has our DC hard going; I cope by making loose plans, but enjoy my own company, so tend to be hermit like when they are away.
What is not to understand about this?!

No but I don’t get any child free time so if I did I would probably just sleep!

As a child-free person I’ve never had kids to look after so probably take my free time for granted (ie I don’t think about it either way as I never had any plans to have children). Can’t imagine having to get up early or in the night for kids and I know that I wouldn’t cope with any of that.

So not really answering your AIBU but don’t plan everything as I can basically do what I want when I want. As it should be!

Hth.

@Warmbutterytoastedbaconroll I think I find it odd because I'm comfortable in my own company and don't mind it.

But surely you haven’t gotten to this age without realising everyone isn’t exactly like you. It’s not odd just because it isn’t your preference.

I’m amazed her twins are 17 and still go to their dad’s EOW! Don’t they want to go out with their mates 😆

I'm not a single parent, but DH and the DC used to share a hobby together. When they'd all go away for a weekend/few days/week for said hobby, I'd be lucky to get out of my pyjamas on the weekends, let alone the house! I went the opposite way of your friend and tried not to plan anything at all (work excepted).

We're all different.