To be terrified after PPH?

[Scarlaharla]

I lost a blood during the birth of DC2. I was fine with DC1. Anyway I’m now pregnant with DC3 and I’m convinced it’s going to happen again and this time I’m going to die. I’ve tried speaking to my midwife who just says it may well happen again, (not reassuring). I just feel like I could die and leave all 3 DC alone. I keep googling statistics and all sorts. AIBU to be so afraid? No one is taking me seriously.

I understand your worry. I had a massive PPH with my first baby and literally felt myself slipping away. With my second and third babies they cannulated me just in case but both deliveries were absolutely fine. You're bound to be concerned but they'll know your history. Good luck with your pregnancy.

Speak to your GP and make sure (a) the PPH is flagged on your notes and (b) your anxiety about it is recorded.

Consider having hypnotherapy to help you deal with the anxiety this is causing you.

Raise your concerns at antenatal sessions.

Could I insist on a C section? Not really sure if that’s something I can do with NHS? There are other reasons I would prefer it too - previous rape and sexual assault and PTSD

Yes you
Absolutely can.

You definitely can insist
I had PPH with my first but didn't with my next 2. I was cannulated just in case and gave birth with an Obstetrician rather than midwife.

I think it’s made worse by the fact I’m quite short (under 5 ft) and slim so I’m worried I don’t have as much blood to lose. Not sure if it works like that?

I had pph with my first but not with my second. The obstetrician did my birth plan at maybe 30 weeks. I had a cannula in as soon as I arrived on delivery suite, they had blood ready just in case, I had a managed third stage and then had to go on the syntocinon drip for a couple of hours after giving birth. The drip was fine except it made me sick until they gave me some anti sickness and it was a bit annoying not being able to shower straight away. It worked really well though, I lost so little blood they didn't even measure it.
The consultant told me the risk of having a pph is triple if you've had one before, so it goes from 5% to 15%, which means they put plans in place to manage the risk back down again. They will still do that if you have a caesarean birth but they will plan your birth with you and go through your notes from last time to understand why you bled exactly. I found it really helpful.
I hope your birth goes really well xx

You can defo opt for an elective Csection
you can also speak to your midwife about antenatal anxiety