Dating - younger man and complexity

[Flowersinthewindow1]

After being divorced for 2 years and not actively seeking someone I’ve become interested in someone from work. Due to our age difference (I’m 46, he’s 26) it’s been complicated understanding whether we a romantic relationship would work, however it’s gotten to a romantic stage.

The issue is that whilst the age difference isn’t ideal my 22 year old son is furious with me. He thinks the thought of someone roughly his age dating his mother is humiliating and is begging me to put an end to it before it embarrasses him.

AIBU - I do understand his concerns but it’s not like I’ve purposefully pursued someone much younger it just happened.

This will be awkward once you stop seeing each other after he's shagged you a few times to tick a box and then all of your work are gossiping about it

I wouldn't entertain this at all.

As something casual my main objection is that you work together. You will be gossip fodder and a joke when it inevitably ends.

As something serious it is a disaster because your children are already embarrassed. How does he feel about meeting them or socialising at family events? That, plus the truly huge age gap, plus the fact that you can't have more children, means heartbreak at some point.

The fact that you've already told your kids suggests that you are excited and running away with yourself. I expect your flattered and excited about a new relationship, and I would be too. But I'd walk away from this one.

I see where you're coming from but if they work together and OP is in a senior role (likely since she's 20 years older) then that changes the power dynamic considerably.

Go for it! If the sexes were reversed no-one would bat an eye. Bunch of hypocrites.
Obviously if he wants kids you'll have to split up in 20 years or so...
I think you will get bored with him though.

This. I feel sorry for your kids

Why name change for a thread like this? In anycase go get em', you can both use each other.

46 is the start of the time where you are going to begin rapidly aging. Most women’s faces and bodies really start to age from mid/ late 40s. Does he understand this?

I knew someone in a LTR with a guy 20 years her junior. I met them about a couple of years before they split when she was in her early-mid 50s. I genuinely thought she was his mum when I first met her. When they split I asked her why and she said the age gap had become an issue.

Most people bat eyelids at 20 year age gaps!

I would. I cringe at men in their 40s dating women in their 20s and can't imagine his children being delighted when dad's new gf is their age either. Although I agree that it seems to be more socially acceptable for some reason, maybe in part because children are still a possibility so that dilemma is removed.

It would be nice to think it could work but it's a fantasy imo, the reality is that the thrill of the taboo won't last long and he'll leave you for a 20 year old who has less 'baggage'. Unless it's just a brief bit of fun let the guy live his life I reckon.

I've no problem with the age gap. There are great people and compete numptys of all ages, there are young carers and old carers and attractive people being cheated on. All people, even young ones, get scars, have dental problems, ruin their skin, lose and gain weight, there are people who genuinely don't want to have children and will not change their mind. A relationship is a lottery, you start slow and get to know a person and develop trust and respect and love...or maybe not.
Therein lies my reservation. I did not introduce my partner until many months down the line. I was well aware that no child wants to think of their parents in a sexual relationship, so I saved them being grossed out if it was only going to be a fleeting thing. The older one knew I was going out sometimes, but I kept it light. New friends, getting to know some people etc. Bit late now, but maybe something to bear in mind, and perhaps don't overshare yet. 🙂

I have a friend who’s married to someone 20 years younger. They’ve just celebrated their 12th wedding anniversary and he’s still completely smitten. Go for it @Flowersinthewindow1, it’s nobody’s business except yours and his.

Older man is more gross because of the sleazy/pervy factor and the power dynamic.

But both are fucked up.