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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not know who my friends are?

3 replies

embarrassed40 · 16/10/2022 11:37

I'm an autistic women In my 40's . I've always had friends, some have been long term, some short term. But I've reached a point where I feel like I don't really have friends anymore yet I do have people I call friends. This is my friendship groups-
Group 1
2 old friends (30+ yrs) very close in our childhood- 30's, we would meet at least weekly and talk most days. In the last 10 years less close. We have a group chat we text in maybe once or twice a month and we meet 3-4 times a year sometimes a meal out or a weekend break or just a coffee. One I speak to on the phone maybe once a month, the other never on phone.
Group 2
Mum friends
From my youngest being born 6 yrs ago. Met up loads when kids were babies gradual decline which obviously stopped at covid. I use to message them individually every week or so during lockdown but realised they never messaged back so stopped . I now see them on school run, we have a group chat for school stuff and occasionally il ask them to coffee they never ask me.
Friend 3
Another mum friend except she does get in touch loads, we speak on phone every few days and meet at least once every couple weeks . But she never really asks about me,it's all about her as she is struggling. I also help with kids a lot. I don't really feel like I get anything from friendship but happy to support her as her life is really difficult.
Friend 4
Old mum friend from elder dd, when kids were young we meet often with kids. When kids got older they started to meet without us so I would arrange a coffee/ walk every few months just two of us. I've also had them round for tea. She never arranges to meet but is always happy to do so when I ask. We don't speak much in between just odd text.
Friend 5
Ds closest friends mum, we would always chat at school on drop off/pick up but not this year as they are in different classes so don't see each other. I suggest meet ups in holidays which they come to but mum never suggests it so it doesn't happen unless I get in touch. Don't really talk week to week, just occasional text.

So these are my friends. Mn what do you think? Are we friends? Acquaintances? Not friends?

OP posts:
Tabbouleh · 16/10/2022 11:39

Well you have more than I do! Friends really fall away in your 50s and few ppl have the time to text.

the80sweregreat · 16/10/2022 11:46

I have one best friend of 38 years and a few people I know and like but I don't see that regularly , maybe every six months or so.
Your doing ok on the friends front I think

malificent7 · 16/10/2022 11:48

You sound like you are doing fine op. You have more than me.

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