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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not drink anymore

35 replies

pollyputthekettleon33 · 16/10/2022 10:43

Had a few drinks with dh last night while watching Saturday night tv and ordering a takeaway. A wild night it was not.

But my god I feel shit today. I'm not sick or anything, just so so tired and foggy headed. Like I can't string a cohesive thought together or plan to do anything. I have no motivation. It's a lovely sunny day that we could be out enjoying but instead I'm withering away on the sofa.

I don't drink often these days because I have dc and it wouldn't be fair on them to be in this mood often. But dc were out at grandparents last night and I had really been looking forward to a few glasses of wine. It just doesn't seem worth it anymore.

I enjoy it at the time but afterwards I feel so much brighter, clear headed and happy when I haven't had a drink. I'm mid 30s and have only noticed this in the last year or so. I just feel like life is too short to waste days like this.

OP posts:
CrackingcheeseWallace · 16/10/2022 10:47

Same here...im minging now after having far too many wines last night. This means I'll be craving rubbish, poor nutrional foods all day and as you say, wasting what could be a great day because of feeling crappy. I really annoy myself sometimes! 😤

ABoynamedsue2022 · 16/10/2022 10:48

Then don’t drink.
it’s not a requirement lol

i usually have a few drinks fri sat night in firing of the tv, stopped for 9 months, never felt healthier or looked better. So even though I wasn’t drinking a lot and all the time, stopping made such a difference.

I do buy some alcohol free beers to keep in the fridge incase I fancy the taste on a weekend evening and that’s all I need.

Thepeopleversuswork · 16/10/2022 10:49

I can totally relate to this.

I used to be able to drink a fair bit. Have never had a problematic relationship with booze but I did used to enjoy a boozy night out.

I think since being peri menopausal it just no longer agrees with me and it isn’t worth the limited buzz I do get from it.

Even small amounts of alcohol dehydrate me, mess up my sleep and prevent me getting the exercise I need. It’s just not worth it.

Original poster
pollyputthekettleon33 · 16/10/2022 10:50

I enjoy it at the time. I've been looking forward to it all week. Some kid free time with a few drinks. But now I'm just thinking was it really worth it?

OP posts:
waterlego · 16/10/2022 10:51

I’m with you OP. I’m mid 40s and had a similar epiphany at around your age. I do still drink alcohol but very infrequently and very small amounts. Never wine or spirits so just the occasional beer or cider. Last time I drank alcohol was 2 beers on my birthday 4 weeks ago. I probably won’t have another drink til Xmas now.

JustEatTheCake · 16/10/2022 10:53

We have non-alcoholic beer for this reason. Dh was on meds that meant he couldn't drink. I stopped when I realised I felt like you did for 3 days after drinking and not even anything massive, just half a bottle of wine on one rare evening. I like wine but it does not like me back sadly.

Mother87 · 16/10/2022 10:54

It can't possibly be unreasonable NOT to drink can it? It's mostly toxic/behaviour-altering/affects decision making... and if it makes you feel crap - why would you do it anyway?

MintJulia · 16/10/2022 10:56

I'm like this. One small glass on a Sunday lunchtime is lovely but I just don't want a second. It makes me feel terrible. And I don't drink at all in the week.

Itwasgoodwhileitlasted · 16/10/2022 10:57

This was me last weekend. I only had two small wines and felt on a downer on the Sunday. I've had a dry and full of activity weekend and it feels sooooo much better!

Do it op. Even if for just a 3 month trial

user6363 · 16/10/2022 10:58

This is the first weekend all term I haven’t been at least mildly hungover on the Saturday. My work friends and I go to the same pub after school every Friday but this time I went home with my boyfriend and we had a few glasses of wine but not the amount I usually drink on a Friday!

I know it’s a total Mumsnet faux pas but I very much enjoy drinking. However this weekend has made me think I need a few more hangover-less Saturdays! I’m never even properly hungover, never sick or have a headache, but it’s just the fact I wake up early and feel groggy and need to have a nap.

misskatamari · 16/10/2022 10:59

yanbu! I don’t drink often but when I do I feel shit the next (few) days. Had a couple out with friends last night, wasn’t drunk at all, and I’m so tired and foggy today. It’s crap, as I do enjoy a glass of something, but ugh, it really isn’t worth it anymore

Original poster
pollyputthekettleon33 · 16/10/2022 11:00

I also very much enjoy drinking. I don't do it often because of the dc. But we had a rare free weekend and no commitments today so j thought I'd make the most of the opportunity. Pre kids I'd drink every weekend without fail. Now I'm wondering if it's worth it at all.

OP posts:
Wherearemyspex · 16/10/2022 11:01

I am totally with you OP. I too had a few glasses of wine with DH last night, having not had any for about three weeks. I feel awful this morning. Headache, indigestion, tired ... I think today is the day I give up forever. It's just not worth it.

AIIyMcBeal · 16/10/2022 11:05

@pollyputthekettleon33 how much did you drink?

In my 20s I could just about manage a bottle of white wine (4 large glasses) over the course of an evening, so 4-6 hours. I still felt a bit crap the morning after but liveable. Didn’t do it very often.

but now I’m mid 30s one large glass once a fortnight on a Saturday evening is my absolute limit, I just can’t hack it / don’t enjoy it. The hangovers are next level.

Darbs76 · 16/10/2022 11:08

I rarely drink, never at home anymore. I don’t miss it. My weekends were wasted recovering, now I’m up early, out walking my dog, life is much better

Original poster
pollyputthekettleon33 · 16/10/2022 11:12

AIIyMcBeal · 16/10/2022 11:05

@pollyputthekettleon33 how much did you drink?

In my 20s I could just about manage a bottle of white wine (4 large glasses) over the course of an evening, so 4-6 hours. I still felt a bit crap the morning after but liveable. Didn’t do it very often.

but now I’m mid 30s one large glass once a fortnight on a Saturday evening is my absolute limit, I just can’t hack it / don’t enjoy it. The hangovers are next level.

A full bottle of wine over the evening so quite a lot Blush

OP posts:
CoolAngelica · 16/10/2022 11:18

pollyputthekettleon33 · 16/10/2022 11:12

A full bottle of wine over the evening so quite a lot Blush

Show quote history

Not to some of us I’m embarrassed to say. My drinking is getting out of hand again feeling super shite most mornings. Time to re-evaluate

TwilightSkies · 16/10/2022 11:20

I had a few drinks for a friends birthday night out last Saturday night. It messed my sleep up and I felt like crap for days after.
That was my first time drinking since January and just made me more adamant that I hate alcohol!

Nirvananurse · 16/10/2022 11:35

This is exactly me today! I’m on last day of a lovely holiday in a lovely place and last night had some wine which I never drink and today I feel so horrendous I haven’t even got out of bed yet. Poor DH is with the baby but he thinks it’s funny as he can drink everything and feel fine. I’ve got a cold too so feel super crap. Waaaaaaaah!! I think I may give up until Christmas as pp suggested.

Original poster
pollyputthekettleon33 · 16/10/2022 13:53

I've had s shower and managed to do a few jobs. Still feel knackered though. Dc due back soon too.

It's a shame because I enjoy the feel of a wine buzz but it's really not worth writing a full day off for.

OP posts:
warofthemonstertrucks · 16/10/2022 16:03

II'm considering stopping drinking for a while just as I feel generally unhealthy. I rarely drink mid week but weekends tend to be a bit boozy. The problem I have however is that I never really get the promised 'feeling and looking much better' when I don't drink (aside from hangovers I mean-I don't particularly feel better in general) so it's not especially rewarding to me to stop.

Thepeopleversuswork · 16/10/2022 16:09

warofthemonstertrucks · 16/10/2022 16:03

II'm considering stopping drinking for a while just as I feel generally unhealthy. I rarely drink mid week but weekends tend to be a bit boozy. The problem I have however is that I never really get the promised 'feeling and looking much better' when I don't drink (aside from hangovers I mean-I don't particularly feel better in general) so it's not especially rewarding to me to stop.

I don't automatically look or feel better without drink, I think that probably only works if you drink shed loads, but I do notice it has a massively damaging effect on my ability to exercise. I run/swim 3-4 times a week, which I need for both my physical and mental health, and if I've had more than about one unit of alcohol the night before a run I just can't hack it.

My 30 year old self would have LOLed at the prospect of missing a night out to do a run but now given the choice between a bottle of wine and a run I'd take the run every time.

Cw112 · 16/10/2022 16:13

I'm not completely teetotal, I still enjoy a glass of wine with dinner etc but I very rarely drink otherwise now because I felt like it really spiked my anxiety the next day and it just wasn't worth it for me.

Hungoverandashamed · 16/10/2022 16:14

I wrote a similar post last week OP! I've decided to stop entirely as whenever I've massively cut back my intake has crept back up again at some stage and caused me some sort of problems.

Last week I said mean things I don't remember to my DP when we were in bed and hurt him. The next day I missed out on my hike and reiki session that I'd been looking forward to. The night out was kinda fun but no way worth the price I paid.

I'm done with it. We are heading off on holiday tomorrow, I can't wait to see what it's like coming back from two weeks of sea, lovely salads, exercising, early nights and spending time together without the complications of stupid drunken crap.

Dontevenstart · 16/10/2022 16:16

Absolutely not unreasonable to not drink.
Just be prepared to be surprised about who’s a dick about it - “come on, just one” etc.