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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask him to go home?

27 replies

vented · 15/10/2022 22:25

DD's boyfriend is over tonight, he sleeps over every weekend and its normally fine. However, he was complaining of his stomach hurting, DD assumed he was hungry so made him some toast (we’d had dinner before he arrived, her boyfriend was at a football match so had eaten earlier in the day, but didn't have any dinner). Since then, he's vomited and is still complaining of his stomach hurting and he's said it hurts a lot.

He probably has a bug, so wibu to ask him to go home?

OP posts:
sandytooth · 15/10/2022 22:27

How old is he? Where does he usually live? How would he get home? Do you hate him?

CPL593H · 15/10/2022 22:27

I think I would be more concerned that there is something really wrong, like appendicitis.

Spotlightisbright · 15/10/2022 22:27

How far is home? How can he get there? How old is he? Can you ‘quarantine’ him at yours?

comedycentral · 15/10/2022 22:28

He will probably want to be at home in his own bed and using his own bathroom. Can you offer him a lift?

Yupbutnobut · 15/10/2022 22:28

Yuck I would have kicked him out as soon as he said his stomach was hurting. Get his parents to pick him up then Bleach everything.

sandytooth · 15/10/2022 22:29

comedycentral · 15/10/2022 22:28

He will probably want to be at home in his own bed and using his own bathroom. Can you offer him a lift?

I know I would personally appreciate being given a lift home in these circumstances

Valid8me · 15/10/2022 22:29

Wow you sound really compassionate!
If he does have a bug, it will surely be too late now, he will probably have already passed it on. How do you know it isn't more serious, appendicitis for example?

Ineedsleepandcoffee · 15/10/2022 22:29

Of course you are being unreasonable unless you are extremely medically vulnerable

CPL593H · 15/10/2022 22:29

If he is vomiting and his stomach "hurts a lot", he needs to be checked medically

nannyquestion1 · 15/10/2022 22:30

God, I'd send him home PDQ!

Stade197 · 15/10/2022 22:34

I wouldn't want him in my house incase it's a nasty bug he could be spreading but only send him home if you can get him there or have his parents pick him up so he isn't walking home unwell

Original poster
vented · 15/10/2022 22:34

He's 15, i’d call his mum and ask her to pick him up, or give him a lift. I'm not a medical professional but I don't think it is appendicitis as he seemed fine when he got here, it wasn't until an hour and half/ 2 hours ago he told DD he was going to sleep because his stomach hurt, but he is saying it hurts more now he's vomited so I'm not sure.

OP posts:
Elsamit · 15/10/2022 22:35

If he lives with his parents, I would ask him if he would prefer to go home and drive him there (assuming you have a car). If I felt so ill in someone else's house, then I would want to go home. I wouldn't take him if he lived alone though. I would rather he stayed where he could be monitored and looked after.

beonmywaythen · 15/10/2022 22:36

He sleeps over every weekend at 15??? Anyway yes send him home to his actual parents to take care of him

EndlessMagpies · 15/10/2022 22:37

He's only 15 so you need to call and speak to his mum.

When he was at the football match - was he playing? He may have been injured.

Afterfire · 15/10/2022 22:38

Yep, home he goes.

15 is very young to be staying over at a girlfriends. Not the point of the thread but still…..!

Fuuuuuckit · 15/10/2022 22:39

No way in a million years a 15 year old boyfriend would be staying over every weekend.

Call his parents to pick him up.

Elsamit · 15/10/2022 22:40

Just seen your post about his age. If that was my son, I would feel annoyed if I hadn't been told. I would want him home. Most likely a bug but in your shoes, I wouldn't want the responsibility of having to make decisions about when or if to seek medical intervention.

MrsMacnair · 15/10/2022 22:41

Had a whole reply written and bit just seen your update, at 15 you need to call his parents and arrange for him to go home.

cravattwat · 15/10/2022 22:41

Yep, call his parents let them know he's not well and needs to go home.

I wouldn't be happy at all if my child was ill and I wasn't told.

Pippa12 · 15/10/2022 22:42

I’d be furious if my 15 year old was Ill with stomach pains and I hadn’t been informed. I’d want to make my own opinion on wether it was serious or not.

Every weekend at 15, wowzers!

Ineedsleepandcoffee · 15/10/2022 22:45

If you are treating your 15 year old as adult enough to stay over at his girlfriend's every other weekend I don't think you can then complain if he is treated as an adult when ill. I.e it's up to him if he wants to contact his parents or go home.

CPL593H · 15/10/2022 22:49

vented · 15/10/2022 22:34

He's 15, i’d call his mum and ask her to pick him up, or give him a lift. I'm not a medical professional but I don't think it is appendicitis as he seemed fine when he got here, it wasn't until an hour and half/ 2 hours ago he told DD he was going to sleep because his stomach hurt, but he is saying it hurts more now he's vomited so I'm not sure.

With appendicitis like most other things, you're fine until you're not fine and fit teenagers suddenly complaining about being in a lot of pain is concerning, it's not like he's just throwing up but otherwise OK. You should at least let his parents know what's going on.

WifeMotherWorker · 16/10/2022 14:43

15????? OMG!!!

Haffiana · 16/10/2022 14:46

If your DD was ill at his house, would you expect his parents to just kick her out?

I wouldn't be that cunty, personally. But you do you, hun.